I've been being bugged by a little anxiety about something and I wondered if I could get it off my chest.

It sounds utterly pathetic but is bothering me!

Telling this lady I work with.

I work very closely with her, on the same team etc, we sit next to each other. I see her sometimes outside of work (not that often but sometimes we meet up to go shopping or something like that).

She is desperate to become pregnant. Her and her OH have been trying for about 8 months and she tells us all about it. Everything (to a level I actually feel quite uncomfrotable with).

She told me on Friday that she finds it really hard when anyone else says they are pregnant as it seems really unfair that it is not her because she wants it "more than anyone else".

I've never been one for sharing about our own baby making plans because I feel it is private to me and my husband and I don't really want to talk aboout it with everyone. Therefore even though I really want this baby she thinks I'm not bothered because I don't go on and on about TTC like she does. She was genuinely angry when her SIL got pregnant because of this very point.

Also, she kind of won't do anything about her own TTC "issues" (for want of a better word), she won't see doctor again and ask for referral, she won't give up smoking or cut down the drinking, her husband won't cut down his drinking (he's quite hardcore drinker which can't be helping) which is frustrating because she just complains all the time but won't seem to help herself.

I'm 8 weeks pregnant now, so hopefully in about 4 weeks I will have a beautiful scan picture to bring to work and show everyone and make my exciting news public knowledge in the office.

However the thought of having to tell this lady is really bothering me!

I know it's silly. My husband doesn't get it at all - he just says "it's not our problem, it's hers, don't worry about it". But I have to sit with and work with this lady and I don;t want it to be horrible and I don't want to upset her if I can avoid it.

I was just wondering if anyone else had come across this problem?

Did anyone else worry about telling a particular person and actually it all turned out fine?

Phew, I feel better for having got that off my chest!

Thanks for "listening" and apologies for the crazy hormonal style rant!

Elly X

[Modified by: ExcitedElly on 06 July 2009 17:32:18 ]

firstly congrats! thats amazing news!

hmmm... that is a toughy ryt there but as you wud expect someone who aint in your shoes to say, i think u should just tell her. if shes not mature enough to take it and 'hates' you for it then your not going to want your baby around her, all that negativity! it aint good. for u or the babi.
sorry if it sounds a bit removed for want of a better word but as i say im just reading it. lol

but watever u do good luck and dont let nothing spoil ur gr8 news xxxx

Thanks, I know I do just have to tell her!!!

I know in my head that it's not my problem at all, I can't control other people's feeling etc. But I also feel, in a selfish way, like I don't want to have to deal with the negativity and ill feelings. I would never act like that even if I felt it inside. I guess it's because she is so open about how she feels when other people get pregnant I know that she will be seething at me!!!

I wawnt a magic wand to make it all okay and make everyone happy and the world full of fluffy bunnies!! Anyone got one of those?!

And I want everyone to tell me everything will be okay and that I won't make enemies left right and centre as I go along!!!

I do solemnly declare that nothing will spoil my good news!!!!

Right, I'm off home now.

Thanks again XX

i once work with a girl who was trying for a baby just after she got married. one day i turned up to work and announced i was pregnant (was an accident i didn't plan it) when she found out she turned into a right bitch cos she was jealous. anyway few weeks passed and i had a miscarriage, now i'm happy for anyone who falls pregnant regarding what happens in my life but i went bk to work after 2 weeks off from having the miscarriage, she walts into the staff room stares right in my face and shouts i'm pregnant. i was pleased for her but she did that to be nasty.

anyway, it is difficult havin to work with someone like u do. is there any bosses u can have a word with tell them ur concerns so that if she does start any **** the bosses have already been warned?

i wouldn't hide ur good news, like u say she moans enough but doesn't change her lifestyle so she can't want it that bad

xxx

Hi future Mrs Duncan.

I'm so sorry about your miscarriage, that must have been really horrible. What a prize bitch your workmate was!

I think the idea about voicing concerns with boss is a good one. I wanted to tell the 2 bosses first, seemed fair and I will ask their advice then I think to make them aware of potential problem.

Thanks X

hiya i had the same kinda problem when i had my son.my 3 best friends at work all couldnt have kids,one had pcos and was on the ivf waiting list,one had left it too late and the 3rd was having investigations and i was so nervous over telling them. i couldnt hide it or wait to tell them as im a supervisor in a busy shop with lots of heavy lifting in the warehousey bit so had to tell every1 at the start.but when i told them they were absolutley fine about it and were alittle upset that i`d been worrying bout telling them.in the end one ended up coming to one of my scans with me as hubby was working and another was godmother! basically in a long waffley way im trying to say she might b ok about it and pleased for you but i`d get it over and done with to get rid of the worry x