Hello all,

Something has been driving me mad for weeks now and i am not sure,

My hubby-2-b to be recently joined the a volunteer fire service near where we live and I am also a member. Well I met this guy and I find him soo gorgeous. Well yesterday i plucked up the courage to join in with what him and someone else was doing. It involved me holding something and him trying to screw on a nut! and also standing close behind me white doing that lots of unintentional hand touching. We were winding each other up I was flirting I got vipes that he was flirting.......getting very close etc etc (all this happened while my hubby-2-b was in the unit as well)

When we comment on each other facebook I put A x at the end of each comment (well i do that to everyone)
there are some problems with this

1. I am getting married to the man of my dreams next year.
2. This guy is at least 10 years older than me (i am 19)
3. He isn't the family type and I dont think he likes marriage

Is this Ok to flirt when your preparing to get married??? Is it ok to window shop?????

What should I do i want to kiss him everytime I see him...

help please:\?:\?:\?:\?

To be honest it really doesn't sound like you're ready to get married if you're carrying on like this with someone else. I'd be devastated if I thought my other half was behaving like this. Put yourself in your h2b's shoes - how would you feel? xx

Hi hun,

you say there are 3 problems with this, to me thats not right there is only 1!! and that is your are getting married!! the other 2 are irrevelant!!

You need to stop all contact with this guy! if you are flirting so much and you want to kiss him everytime you see him then what happens next?

You either need to stop all contact with him and forget about him, or need to re think your relationship with h2b!xx

how can u seriously be considering marriage ? i think you need to step away from this guy and look at what you have and what you want x

If you step back and re read your own post it speaks volumes....you're not ready for a serious commitment...you still want to flirt and play about with the opposite sex and at your age thats ok and natural...but....you really cant be planning a wedding feeling and acting like this...you'll hurt your fiance and yourself too in the end....x

| can only real-iterate what the others have already said.

That posts shouts that your are not ready for commitment.
Have a good hard think about what you want to do.
xxxx

is this for real?

NO. its not ok.

It sounds like you are still quite emotionally immature. If you cant get this other man out of your head and grow up a bit, I would postpone your wedding to give yourself sometime to mature x

stayw away from this other man and talk to youir h2b that your having feelings for other people, he deserves to be able to make the desicion of wether he wqants to stay or not.
xx

As one of the other posts said...how would you feel if that was your husband flirting with another woman, would you be ok with him "Window Shopping" ?

I really don't think you should be considering marriage if you feel the way you do about another man.

You're not marrying the man of your dreams next year.

If you were marrying the man of your dreams, you wouldn't be having thoughts and messing about with another man.

My advice? Call the wedding off if it isn't already booked.

Oh dear - you definitely shouldn't be getting married yet!

Also, point three makes it sound like you're considering this other guy for marriage instead of your OH - did you book the church and have to fill it with any guy or something?! I know it sounds harsh but you seem to think every relationship with a guy is about marriage - really you should only consider marriage with one guy at a time. That's pretty basic stuff.

Quote:

.... I would also add .... call the wedding off even if it is booked!! you're obviously not ready for marriage yet, go out, enjoy life and be single for a while!

Aw hun, if you are feeling like this before you get married then imagine how you will feel when the wedding has happened and you settle into normal married life. Can you imagine being with this guy for the rest of your life? Everybody at one point in a relationship sees a guy or a girl and thinks oh hes good looking, but to actually want to be kissing the person does suggest your maybe not ready for this. Take some time to yourself to decide if this is what you really want. You still have the rest of your life ahead of you, so theres no rush. Good Luck. xx

you have two choices
1. call of the wedding !
2. get a grip and cut all contact with this man

Your poor h2b deserves better !!!!!

What are you DOING?

If its about attention and you needing to feel wanted - you shouldn't be getting married to your fiance

If you want to kiss someone else everytime you see them then that should be a big clue that you aren't ready to get married and I go as far to say even be in the relationship you are in. If you need us to tell you its not ok then there is something wrong.

[Modified by: forestfire on February 08, 2010 08:47 AM]

Hey hunni, going against the flow here (hunkered down in a anderson, prepared to get bombed with comments!)....If you're flirting harmlessly, the bloke knows there's nothing behind it & your h2b is aware of it, then I don't see the problem with it.
If you're flirting with this bloke (and getting all school girl giddy when he puts an x on an message) then it's not a good thing!

If you have feeling for this guy, you have to work out what you want from him...and if it turns out you want a bunk up/relationship, then you should be open about it (and tell h2b you're not ready to marry), it could be he's flirting as you are & he doesn't care that you're married or you could be soulmates!
Take a break from both guys, and think about how you'd feel five years down the line with h2b?
Like forestfire says, if it's a big enough problem to ask us, it's not ok.

Having said that, it's fine to window shop/day dream/even w*nk over (not literally!) other people, just don't let them/h2b know!! xxx

Is this serious?

How would you feel if your H2B was acting like that? Wise up!