Brand new here, can I possibly trouble you girls...?

Good Evening,

Thank you in advance for reading my post... bit nervous of my first one!

I have recently started planning my wedding and visiting this website, the advice and ideas are fantastic... So I was hoping you could help me with my big venue questions.

My partner and I really want to get married at Babington House in Somerset. It is our ideal venue. However, we haven't booked because we are worried about two things:

1. Firstly you can only get married on a Mon-Thursday. We have never envisaged a weekday wedding and we are really worried guests will get fed up with us/not come/go home early or arrive late to save on the two days off work it would require

2. They feel a 4pm (earliest 3.30pm) ceremony time is the most appropriate for their weddings... So 4pm marriage, 5pm drinks, 7.30pm dinner, 9pm evening do (we wont have evening guests)

Can I ask for your honest thoughts on these two problems? Do you think that I should consider other venues/have any ideas of how to work around them etc...

Thank you so much for any help you can give, I will really appreciate it.

Emmy

Have you considered Maunsel House?

Hey Lovely, congrats! I'm fairly new too but found the ladies on here super helpful and friendly - hope you do too!

For what it's worth, mh first instinct is that it's YOUR wedding - you shouldn't have to work around THEIR timings to the extent that your plans have to change. Had you envisioned a 4pm start? Some venues try to push for later so that they can fit another morning ceremony in or allow lots of extra time for setting up. H/w they may be flexible if you ask them nicely...

Re the day, how do you feel about having a wedding on, say, a Monday? Does that rule still apply on bank holidays? If so, guests would only need to take one day off work which i don't think is a lot to ask
IMO but you need to decide that for yourselves based on how you feel about it and how your guests would react.

It's very easy to fall in love with the layout of a venue or how picturesque it is, but I've found the best venues to be the ones that are flexible and gave amazing planners who are hellbent on helping you create an amazing day. If you're still unsure, keep looking at some alternatives and see how you feel about them and what they can offer you. As much as I love my venue, I'd have to say no to a Monday to Thursday wedding (unless it's a Bank Hol) and I'd insist on a 2pm start. On our day, we don't want to miss a single moment - ESP as it flies by so quickly anyway! Don't despair, you've found the right man and you'll find the venue

for me it is the whole day that is import not just the venue, i think i would have been devastated if my venue had these rules. do you really not want to get married til 4pm?? what will you do all the rest of the day, i'd spend all day worrying whether it'l go alright and panicking over this and that. Mrsb2be2012 is right, it's YOUR day, what is most important to you

It would be a no on both counts for me I'm afraid especially the timings. I want to make the most of the day! They shouldn't be dictating to you. Keep looking and find somewhere willing to accommodate everything yo want:)

I guess it depends on how much you want the venue as to how much your willing to compromise. This is a really tough one!

I know I wouldn't be happy with what the venue are dictating to you. We initially wanted a weekend wedding in May - and were told we would have had to have our wedding at 4pm or Mon-Thurs which we didn't feel we could agree to.

Instead we're now getting married in March so we can have a Friday wedding at 2pm. The park opens to the public in April so it's the last date we can have full access all day.

Is there anyway you could negotiate with the venue?

Babington House is lovely but personally I would have to be really sure that there was nowhere else I would be happy with in order to go for the Mon-Thur wedding as I'd be worried about people being unable to make it and, with some people, that even if they did come they'd be checking their Blackberry all day!

Have you looked at Cowley Manor in the Cotswolds (unless you have to be in Somerset of course)? It has a similar modern design in a country house thing. You could also try looking at thewedding venues bit on the Mr and Mrs Smith website.

Thank you all so much for your thoughtful replies - it really is great to get some different opinions. You are right with everything you've said... I will arrange some further viewings (will check out cowley and maunsel - thank you) and email Babington asking if a 2pm start is out of the question.

I hadn't realised how tricky some of this planning will be - lots more to do and think about than I had imagined if i am honest!!!

xx

i think you should definitely look at other venues then you can fully weigh up the options of venue vs how you want the day to run and on what day of the week.

i guess most wedding not in the home town require a friday off for a sat wedding - certainly this has been the case for 80% of the weddings ive been to and my own in may.
do you haev guests from abroad as obviously that makes it more than 2 days off work.

if, however, you just can't let go of babington once youve seen other options, then go for it. it's your wedding - you just have to bear in mind that it may be difficult for some folks to make it.

x

A friday is OK. But any other week day really means two days off realistically which is a lot for some people. Either that or they stay sober and don't really let their hair down knowing they have work the next day. Expect some people to decline. But if you have a big guest list to invite then it will ensure that only those that really want to be there will be there.
As for a late wedding. If you are paying them a lot of money I don't think they should dictate the time. Personally if I am spending all that money I want to get a full days worth out of it. You only get to wear the dress once - better a day than half a day Having said that evening weddings can be very chic and if you aren't planning a separate night do probably work quite well xxx