No one's bothered second time round :-(

Hi ladies
I first got married in 2008 and afer only being married 18 months my marriage broke down and the divorced was finalised last june. 4 months after my marriage break up i found the man of my dreams, he is perfect and my relationship is so different then the last one. In october we had our first child and christmas day he proposed and i accepted. I truely feel more happy now and more of an equal then i ever did with my ex and we have a beautiful daughter together as well and life feels good .

the first time round I had the big white wedding and hundreds of guests and everyone was really happy for me, this time round i just feel that no one is really bothered, we haven't set a date yet but no one is really asking or showing any interest in my wedding because its second time round has anyone else experienced the same thing??

I can't relate, as I am running up to getting married for the first (and hopefully only!!) time! However I imagine everybody is very happy for you- you might be being a bit sensitive and thinking that this is what people feel when it isn't. However I guess with your first wedding not being very long ago, people think you might not necessarily want to go through the whole "big wedding" thing again.

However i'm sure when you set a date and start making plans everybody will start getting excited for you! Don't worry about other people anyway, you and H2B are happy, thats all that matters!

Erm, people were not asking much or showing much enthusiasm for my wedding and it's my first time. I think that's generally just how people are at the start and they get more excited as it draws closer. You're probably remembering the last bit in your last wedding when everyone was really excited, and not so much the earlier stuff. You probably also ahve higher expectations of their enthusiasm because of that memory.

In my opinion, I think it's more significant that you're remarrying not very long after the peak in your last relationship (the wedding) rather than that it's a second marriage. It is fast, and whilst I can't talk on that one (!) people will be more dubious because of that - after all, they don't know how to be sure you're right about this one!

I am marrying for the second time next year and we got engaged at Christmas - totally underwhelmed by my family's reactions (or lack of them!) but my friends are all delighted for me as they know more details about the sadness in my first, 26 year long, marriage.

Most of my family however do not know all the details of my first marriage as I chose not to upset them by telling them. Indeed some of them cannot see why I wanted to end things with my handsome, successful husband. I think they think I was mad.

Hey ho, you never know what people's reactions are going to be or why they are the way they are. But, as Rowena said - maybe the excitement grows as the Big Day gets nearer!

But even if it doesn't - well, disappointing though it is, the main thing is you have found happiness. I am pleased for you that you got out of your unhappy marriage quickly and didn't waste too many years.

Congratulations!

Most peole are happy, and are pleased now we've booked a date ( we got engaged in 2009) !
I didn't do the 'big white wedding' first time around, reg office and social club,and again this time reg office (different one tho !) and a reception in a funky bar. But thats out of choice not because I think you can't do it big 2nd time around. I think of the first time as my 'stater' marriage and that i'm getting it right this time round !!!