Church wedding and divorcee

My H2B was divorced about 15 years ago. I spoke to someone at church who said because he was divorced it might not be possible to have a church wedding. We are getting married in America and don't think it is a problem there but somehow over here it might be. We also might have to get a special licence because my H2B is American. Has anyone else had that problem.

some churches in England will remarry divorced people its all down to the vicar.As my fiance has also been married before and i inquired about a church wedding

I am getting married in June, I am C of E my fiance is Catholic, both been married before me in ina registry office my fiance in a C Of E church as his ex was not catholic. We are getting married in a methodist church because we want to be married together in the eyes of God and methodist churches are more understanding than some other churches. Good luck.

They are talking rubish living in the dark ages don't listen. We have both been married before getting married CofE this summer... Its only a problem if you left a partner to marry someone new and are asking to do it straight away... which is fare enough as you would not have had time to re think your life really our local rector was lovely we had to tell him why we wanted to get married again and why we were not happy to just go on a sunny beach... i'm sure you won't have a problem good luck xx

I spoke to the minister today about it and he said it wasn't possible in the church I go to. He said we can have a registry office wedding then a church blessing but can't get married in the church. It is stupid considering my H2B was divorced 15 years ago but that is the rules.

I think thats really sad if you attend that church. My friend is divorced and getting married in a CofE church this year but shes had to attend regularly for this and she didn't before. We are both divorced and attend a church, our Pastor will marry us but we have no church building so we are hopefully getting married in the local Methodist church, which is great for me as thats what I was brought up as
Hope you can get yours more sorted

[Modified by: HT72 on March 04, 2009 11:44 AM]

I asked a minister in another church that is a United Reformed Church, I did attend there years ago with my Great Aunt and he said my H2B being divorced isn't an issue at all and all we need is a certificate from the local town hall so we have a Plan B. We are getting married in America but my dad is being treated for Cancer and we don;t know how well he will be so we needed to have a plan B incase he can't fly.

[Modified by: AllieG on March 09, 2009 09:11 AM]

We went to see our local vicar 3 weeks ago and I was dreading it as my H2B is divorced.
The Vicar was ok as he said we were really lucky as the law had just changed for the CofE, and that they now allow divorcees to remarry.

Hi there, we are getting married in a registry office a 15 min jobby then having a blessing on the sat as our vicar wouldnt marry us as i am divorced.

have to say i was a bit gutted but it still feels the same to us as practically everything is the same, we are even going to exchange rings for the first time at the church blessing.

it is a shame however but hey ho i'm going to enjoy it anyway

Hi all,
It will be my H2b's second marriage and my first. We have a meeting with the Vicar on 24th March. Does anyone have any tips on how to prepare for this meeting? we want the vicar to see that we are worthy of a church wedding.

My partner and I are both divorced and we're getting married in our local (C of E) church in 12 days' time. The Church of England is far more flexible about it all these days but it's still on the discretion of each individual minister. Ours was OK about it but told me he'd have to write to the Bishop, (NOT to get the Bishop's permission, but to NOTIFY him).

I don't want to come over as "smug" but I would say anyone's best chance of securing a Church wedding is to attend that Church for Sunday worship for a few weeks (or preferably months) BEFORE you ask the minister if you can have a Church wedding. I was attending our local Church for over a year before we even got engaged. The vicar knows me.

Also, it's best to be absolutely honest when you're discussing the matter with your minister. If you find you need to tell lies to get him to agree to marry you in church, then you're defeating the whole meaning and purpose of a church wedding. They'll not be happy about marrying a divorced person if they left their former partner for the person they want to marry now. That would just be asking a clergyman (or clergywoman) to sanctify a previous incidence of the sin of adultery. And as happyb2b09 observes, they don't really like to see you rush into another wedding hot on the heels of your divorce - they prefer that you've thought about it deeply. Another question our own vicar asked was if the 2 of us had only been divorced once each.

The Methodists and other Non-Conformist churches are more liberal about marry divorced people. With the Roman Catholic Church, you have to jump through quite a lot of hoops to get a church wedding (when one or both of you is divorced) and sometimes they can tell you straight off that there's no chance anyway. When you go through the process of getting an annulment, you need to be prepared that it's going to take 18 months (time to save up for your wedding anyway!) and also that the answer may still be "no" at the end of it.

Good luck to you all in your planning. A failed marriage in the past doesn't mean you should be denied a church wedding this time around - at least in my opinion - but for some couples it's going to be a lot harder than for others.

Bamba xx

I have attended the church for 5 1/2 years and am a steward and help with the creche so it being a church that I haven't attended isn't an issue. I have been with my H2B for nearly three years and never met his ex wife because he was divorced long before he met me. I was warned that the church I go to might not marry us but I thought the minister might be different to the person I spoke to. He wasn't though. We have decided if we get married in England to go to a United Reformed Church because they will marry us. We did meet with a minister in America who is happy to marry us and we are probably going to go with him.

Hi Iv never used a chatroom B4 & have found your comments very interesting. My h2B was married in a civil service and later divorced his first wife who was church of E., he is roman catholic. I have never been married and am also romanC. we belived because he married in a civil service not a church service that was not recognised by the C church. Iv since been told lots of different things. It is 2 late 2 get his marriage annuled now & a divorcee cant marry in a C church. One priest I spoke 2 told me a blesing was the best I could hope for, while another told me it depends on the church. How is this possible ? their must be rules or laws they work to. I cant get a yes or no answer I cant start to plan where I marry without it.

My H2B is divoroced, but we are getting married in CofE church. They did want to know whether this was the relationsihp that broke up the marriage (it wasn't) and seemed pleased that the divorce was years ago.

Having said that, the vicar of the church I used to go to as a kid, wouldn't have married us as he won't marry divorcees. So it certainly depends on both the church and the circumstances.

The priest at my local Catholic church, after I'd told him why I'd broken up with ExH, said that given we were married in a civil ceremony, it didn't count for anything in the eyes of the catholic church and me and h2b were more than welcome to come get married in his church
This made me v happy Esp. because as far as he's concerned I haven't been married yet. That bit rocks!