Parents OT Bride obligations to My inlaws2B

Hello,

I have just come off teh phone to my lovely Mum. She said that back in the day the day - 35 years ago when she got married, it was the 'done thing' for the parents of the bride, to have the grooms parents over to meet them before the big day... I am not sure if this still goes on...?

Problem is, My parents (still together) live in suffolk, H2B's father and girlfriend live in Dorset and the MIL2B lives in the same village as my finace and I, so My mum and dad have met MIL2B - twice.... but they haven't met H2B's dad and girlfriend, naturally because of the distance this would involve an over night stay - I guess at my mum and dad's house!? can't really expect them to stay in a b&B.. I am not sure that it would be best to leave them all to it unsupervised , but Mum and dad haven got enough rooms to put us all up! I

Then there is MIL2B, if the father and girlfirend go to suffolk to meet my mum and dad, she may then feel left out.

All so confusing!

Any ideas? or is this very old fashioned and no one bothers anymore!?:\?:\?

[Modified by: EveLouise on 07 May 2009 22:51:51 ]
:x

[Modified by: EveLouise on 07 May 2009 22:53:11 ]

Hello,
This is my second time round, first time was 20 years ago and yes it did used to be normal for the brides and grooms parents to meet before the wedding, but I would suggest that has all changed now, I think you should do what you feel is best, I know there is no way my two sets of family will meet before the wedding. They are both lovely sets of people but my teetotal prim uptight mum would have a fit meeting my H2bs folks who love a good drink (as do I!)
I am using the large distance between us (500 miles) as an excuse for them not to get together before the big day, they will meet at the rehersal the night before, can you suggest that to your folks?
We are lucky in that my H2b and I are paying for the wedding so there is no need for the parents to have a who pays for what meeting.
You could also use the excuse that there is so much planning needed that there really isnt time.
But I wouldnt worry that it is necessary for them to meet if you really dont want it.
Budsmum

We've been together 15ish years and not all of our (divorced!) parents have met each other. It's all too confusing but:

My dad has met my fil2b and stepmil2b.....my mum has briefly met fil2b and stepmil2b (much to her dissapointment!! - my mum thinks she is mrs bouquet!)
My mil2b and stepfil2b have never met my mum, stepdad or dad.....

Will be really strange as they will all be meeting up for the first time on the night before our wedding.
In fact, the divorced parents seeing each other again thing has occured before, so I'm sure there will be a few silent moments and possible a few fireworks!!

Did that make sense!???? soooo confusing sorry!

Our parents haven't met yet, but we're all going for lunch next weekend at our venue next weekend!
I'm a little anxious about it as they're worlds apart - my mum and stepdad haven't yet retired, and are working very hard in their respective jobs, they're both self employed and have to work to live; h2b's parents are retired and enjoy jigsaw puzzles and soap operas, and pottering around in the garden!
I'm not worried about them getting on, just maybe a lack of common ground for conversation; I think I may have to steer the chat to the wedding a few times! Keep fingers crossed for me!!!!

Debs xx

my parents have all met.. when H2B and i decided to have an engagement party which would also be my 21st all the family met then.. but the week be4 the party we decided we would like the immediate family get to know each other a little better then at the party they would not be meeting for the first time so we had a meal immediate family only..i would say it helped them to gel and i have to say it was brilliant they all got on well.. then at the party they all mixed talked had a few drinks of course danced and laughed all night long.. very smoothly... xxx

[Modified by: SugarPlum09 on May 16, 2009 03:07 PM]

We had a similar situation...but got around it a h2b's birthday last year just after we got engaged and all sets of parents and step parents got together for a meal and actually all got on really well. In fact my mum and mil2b are best chums now...so maybe you should go for it and see how it pans out.

Hi, we are having a drink 2 nights before the wedding with my parents, brother sister and their partners/kids and his parents brother and sister and partners just so everyone knows who is who!

But we can do this as we are getting married abroad so they will all be there on that date! Is this something you could do?
x

our parents met at our graduation as we did the same course at uni. long time ago now!
always a good idea to meet before the day itself I think, even if just the night before. and this is why...

At a wedding I went to last year, the mother of the groom was overheard saying to her sister "who's that slapper then? What DOES she look like! Can't believe someone would have the gall to come to a wedding looking like she hasn't got changed from the night before!"
... it was the mother of the bride... fortunately, she didn't hear, but the brother of the bride did and some of the bride's cousins etc... whoops!

I'm not really sure what's the norm... but my mum insisted on a little meet when we told her our news.

Following our recent engagement, both sets of parents along with us and my partner's brother and his girlfriend are going out for dinner on Thursday this week! Should be fun...

The parents have met once or twice just to say hello, but no real time to get to know each other.

Ian's mum is a bit mental... so it should be entertaining if nothing else!