Feeling rubbish...

Me and my bloke got engaged in April after being together for 2 years..

Im so happy to be engaged and the prospect of getting married but now it all seems to be falling down all around me

For starters my mum is a christian and his family are quite strict catholics, so i wanted to have a wedding out of a church so its fair on both families...

But his mum and dad have said that they want it on sacred ground!

Also i have a daughter from a past relationship and i really want her brought into the ceremony and want some vows to be said to her, and i know the catholic church wont do this..

His dad has now offered us some money and im worried that as its quite a lot he is only doing it so that we go along with what he wants.

I really dont want a catholic wedding but do we upset people in the process, i am starting to think this wedding is more for everyone else and rather us!

Does anyone have any information or some wise words?

I just feel so down about it, i have such a great idea of what i want but i dont want to upset people!

XX

Hi, was just just wondering are your potential in laws wanting you and your partner to have a full mass wedding, because you can have it without it and it would be similar to a CoE ceremony/anglican.

What's your partner think about it all?

your daughter could always be the flower girl/bridesmaid...

He wants what i want, but doesnt want to upset his parents.

We are going for dinner with them later on today so i am going to bring it up, i have a vicar who is quite down with the kids so he would be happy to involve my daughter the way i want her to be, ive found some lovely vows online for my bloke to say to her. She is also going to be a bridesmaid. Its just he isnt catholic, and to be honest i really dont want a catholic wedding at all!

;(

Hun its both your wedding day and not the parents, im sorry but please sit down with them and explain what you both want and dont let them pressure u into anything you dont want, we had a relglious ceremony in gretna, my hubbys and our kids are catholic and im a COFE, but to me we all pray to one god. Anyhow im sure if u have a catholic service you have to have a minsiter there.

let us know how you get on, and i love the idea of your daugther being involved our kids where too

Firstly, RC is also Christian faith too, just a different branch of the Christian faith so no probs there.

If you don't want a catholic church wedding then how about having a chat with the Priest to see if he would conduct the ceremony away from the church?

My H2B is catholic so we are a mixed religion marriage in the eyes of the RC church as i am CofE...if the marriage is formalised with the RC church then his parents should be happy...there are steps you can take to get a non catholic wedding recognised by the RC church without having a RC ceremony. I would also ask about your daughter as it may depend on your circumstances. I haven't had any probs with the RC faith and they haven't asked me to convert but it will depend on the priest but he will be the person to have a chat with.

Also you have to realise if your future in laws and they are practising catholics that in their eyes unless the RC church recognise your marriage you will not be married...i know it's a bit archaic but thats the way they are brought up and you have to respect their views.

As to what how you handle all this though is totally up to you and H2B as it's your day but i think if there's a workable middle ground which suits everyone then it's worth a try, but if no,t then just do your own thing as long as you are both happy then that's all that matters.