This is NOT our wedding anymore!!!

Hi Girls, sorry for the rant but I just need to get this off my chest before I explode. H2b and I are getting married in 11 days time and whilst we should be really happy and excited we are about an inch away from cancelling the whole thing. We're just sick of people trying to force their opinions on us, lately it seems whenever we tell anyone anything about "OUR" wedding we get told "you don't want to do it like that, you want to do it the way we say you should". This is rapidly turning into everyone else's day and h2b and I have quite frankly had enough after this weekend.

For starters, this is not the wedding we ever wanted. H2b and I just wanted to go abroad on our own and get married on a cruise ship, just us. Because his mother threw a hissy fit about seeing him get married we have been bullied into have a wedding in this country. We've decided to keep it small (30 people to the day, 80 in the evening) and have mostly invited our friends because this is what we want.

People have pi ssed us off from the word go to be honest. H2B's aunt phoned us up to tell us to get married in a Methodist church because it is cheap and then she can bring her kids (we specifically have told people no children, we don't want any there). Then we sent people the menu options and several people have rsvp's with a mix and max of both menus (this is not one of the options!). People have whinged about us saying we don't want a gift (apparently, that is not appropriate) so when pressed we say speak to Thomas Cook and just get us something for when we are on honeymoon and they don't like that either (oh yes, sorry I made a mistake. I would really like 20 toasters please ).

More recently my Mum phones me at least twice a day stressing about what will happen if it rains/my Dad's suit isn't right/my dress doesn't fit/the fact I am having my chief bridesmaid in the car with me on the way to the wedding (apparently all the people on the street will be looking at her and not me if I do that)

Then we had a stag/hen nights. 3 of our friends were miserable gits the whole night, made no effort with anyone of our other friends and then had the cheek to tell us the morning after we "should have had a house party" because they "don't really enjoy pubs and stuff".

My chief bridesmaid had a tattoo on her HAND a couple of days ago, knowing that I can't stand tattoo's. I didn't find out about this until it was too late and apparently she was unable to wait 2 weeks until after the wedding.

My uncle has been snotty with my Mum because I wrote him a letter after the RSVP date has passed telling him we assumed that they were not coming as they had not replied.

H2B's brother/best man arrived home from living overseas at the weekend and starting going on about this random girl he is bringing to the wedding (that we never even knew about, let alone have met) and got the arse when we said the invite actually just had one name on it (his) and has been in a sulk ever since. Then he wanted to know why we haven't invited any of their cousins (who h2b has not seen for about 10 years), and moaned that he has to go for a suit fitting on Saturday with h2b as he has friends he wanted to see and doesn't have enough weekends left before he flies out if he has to go for a suit fitting. Wtf?!?! I thought he was coming home for our wedding, not to go on a jolly round Britain seeing people he's met on his travels.

Oh yeah and get this, h2b's Dad is a complete stress head and thinks he has too much work on at the moment so he is forcing h2b to go to work on the Monday morning following our wedding. That's the first real day of our honeymoon and he wants him to work?!?! And whilst we are at it,h2b's Mum has commandeered the Best Man the night before the wedding because she wants to have a "family meal" with his grandparents and aunt or something (we're not invited to this as we will have my bridesmaid staying at our house). Nothing like letting the best man look after the groom the night before then.

The final straw is the fact that h2b's granddad has just had a heart attack and a bypass op which means he and his wife might not be able to come. Fair enough, but now his Aunt (who, I find out this weekend is renowned for letting people down) who was supposed to be travelling with them, is worried about all the driving and might not be able to make it after all. But not to worry, she'll let us know at least by the day before .

Hmmm. Well I thought writting things down was supposed to make things feel better but now I am just even more annoyed that I was to start with!!!

[Modified by: Mrs Pookie on 06 July 2009 13:02:38 ]

take a deep breath! Get a cuddle and laugh about all the crazy people! I feel really sorry for you, can't you tell your mum/ bridesmaids / h2b how you feel so they can help share some of the crap that you are having to worry about! Im sure that everything will sort itself out and you'll have the most fantastic day and will laugh about all this later on! xx

... are we related and have the same family!... im not getting married for another year and i have this all already!!!!!! oh my god darling you can really do without any of this. what does H2B say????
One thing that my friends keep saying to me when i am saying the same thing is....sod everyone else, and just get on with it what you want!... they will soon realise that they are missing out and fall into place!
food: you have to be hard and just ge them to choose A or B. thats that! prob they were just thick!
kids: we have lost half the family on the No Kids... cool!!!!! put your foot down... if they cant give up the kids for one night, then not worth it!
Cruise: you can always have a blessing...
Mum: is there a job that you can give her to do... keep her busy on a sewing machien? we are planning to send ours away, even if it means we have no honeymoon!!!! its that bad!
Cheif bridesmaid: if she is that good a friend, she will understand if you ask her to put makeup over it or you could get the girls to wear silk gloves/net gloves???
Uncle: They will get over the snooty... but good idea!!!!! will do that one! just means one less and cheaper to put the money towards your blessing on a cruise!!!
Brother/best man. My H2B has still not told me who his will be, as i think it will be his brother who i think is a waste as keeps letting us down all the time. I know it will be so have resloved the fact the chief bridesmaids and co will do everyting that needs responsability, including speeches... and he can just stand there, I know its traditional for the BM to look after the Groom, but do you reallywant him to have that responsability/??? think H2B will be in better hands just chilling or with mates, rather then with BM. Maybe book him a hotel room if its a matter of him being somewhere else, and decorate the room for him, with a message and a "how to look after yourself for one night" instructions, football/comidian dvds etc... and put your own beers in the room... so he can just chill. would be nice surprise.
DAD: a friend of mines dad was even planning to go on the honeymoon with them. your H2B just has to say NO!!!! or... plan a "honeymoon" week and just spend the next day yourself sorting everything out from the previous night, as you will have to cleare the venue, sort pressies out, start writing the cards, etc... stuff you would put off but of course everyone expects the thank you cards asap... that way not a wasted day, sorts the dad out and you can have a full relaxed time when he is not sitting there feeling guilty!!!! and that way the dad cant book him in that week...

i know its not much help... and im with you with everything you say!!!!! but you have to find alternatives cause these people are s**t at it and you will just go on resenting the whole day!
If they cant come = Great, more favours and cake for you!!!!!
you gave them all a chance!!!!
i hope any of that helps!
xxxxxxxx

Its such a shame how weddings are meant to be the happiest time of anyones life, yet that is sooo far from the truth! It seems more and more that weddings bring out the absolute worst in people, and what infuriates me is it brings the worst out in people when they don't get control over something, or dont get what they want...but hang on a minute..its not their wedding!!!!!!

I totally understand how you feel, personally if I could I would book a hotel room somewhere with H2B a few nights before the wedding and sod off there, not telling anyone where it is...so I can relax and not get myself worked up into a state! I know thats not practical..but gosh it would be nice!

Try and relax, and don't work yourself up, just think your marrying the man of your dreams and at the end of it all thats what it really comes down to. Everyone else can faff about all they want, whether thats a tattoo on someones hand or an annoying aunt or brother in law who think they have a god given right to make demands ...just remember its your day..no matter what they say and do..they day is always going to be yours. Stand your ground...and be happy.

Goodluck. x