BM changed an now H2B hates her - what should I do?

Hi girlies,

I need a little advice. I'm having 2 bridesmaids. My CBM is my sil2b and the other was my best friend. But since asking her to be BM she has completely changed. The first few weeks she was great and really into it but then began to change. She has taken to always putting h2b down. Everything he does she criticises. She was round once whilst he was mowing the lawn and she moaned at him for doing it wrong. On Fri she came over and h2b was putting the washing on the clothes horse and she had a go at him for putting the clean clothes on the floor then complained that she'd never use a clothes horse as it doesn't dry well (even though we don't have any trouble with it). H2b to be is so fed up with it that he's asked if there's a possibility to fire her as BM as he wants to enjoy the planning and the day and not be criticised for everything he does.

I can totally see where he's coming from but I don't know what to do. Any ideas?

xx

I would get together with this bridesmaid and calmly ask her what is wrong.
Is she in a relationship? Maybe she would just like to be in the position that you are in?
Have a chat with her, if she was that good a friend that you asked her to be BM in the first place then I am sure there is a logical explanation for it all. :\)

Sounds like a bit of a tricky situation. I agree that you need to talk to her and be very thankful that you h2b has piped up and said something and voiced that he wants to enjoy the planning. Most don't care! If she is a good friend then she should understand - even if things are rocky for a while while she calms down. Hope you get something sorted.

Bx

Thanks. Stella, she isn't in a relationship, she hasn't been as long as I've known her. Guys like her but she puts them down and they lose interest. I realised using the 2 examples doesn't seem like much but she does it every time she sees him.
xx

Yeah the two examples you gave don't seem to be that awful- but I imagine it is much worse when you are on the recieving end of it.

Do you ever pull her up on it when she says it? I'm sure she'll soon get the message when you say "why are you saying that? Why do you have to be nasty?" every time she says something critical.

xxx

I'll try that. Just hope she doesn't take offence. Yeah, the 2 alone aren't that bad but every time she's over it's why are you wearing that?/What are you doing?/ I wouldn't do that/You don't do it right.
xx

Honestly- she'll take more offence if you sack her!

And if she does just say...well don't dish it out if you can't take it!

xxx

I've got one of those "you want to do it THIS way" friends and sometimes you just have to be straight with them. Mr P is a very tolerant bloke but at least 3 or 4 times recently he has got very irritable with yet more unwanted advice! Since she is hopeless at picking up the signals that most of us can, I've had to ask her to stop going on about things and to be fair, she has apologised! But you can't really change her, just moderate the effects!! Mr P now has a friendly cup of coffee when she comes round and then shuts himself away in front of his computer and that is keeping him sane!!!

Thanks Pikelet. Sounds like my bloke, he does a runner when she comes.
xx

hope you manage to get this sorted? perhaps she is scared of losing you?x