Please help...very sad im afraid!

Hi ladies I have a very big problem at the moment I shall begin at the very start!

My aunty was diagnosed with cervical cancer 5 years ago and in October would of been her 5 year clear. She has been suffering with heartburn and tummy ache for the past few weeks and ended up going to A&E on Friday night where they did and x-ray of her tummy. The x-ray showed up a mass in her tumm, so she had some bloods done and they have come back as something not right. She is not eating at the moment as she cant keep anything down plus she is sicking up blood most of the time. We all know that deep down the cancer has come back. I am so upset and just dont know what to do, The wedding is meant to be in 3 weeks time and my mum honestly doesn't think my aunty will be there. I am torn! My nephew (her son) is going to be the best man and is also doing the music in the evening for us. I know that if anything were to happen to his mum we couldn't and wouldn't expect him to do this for us. But what do I do? Do I carry on with planning the wedding and keep my fingers crossed? Or do I cancel it all? Do I look for another best man incase and try and arrange someone else for the music?
I also don't want my family to feel torn. God forbid if my aunt was in hospital really poorly I wouldn't want them to be torn about where to be. Obviously I would want them all at my day but also I wouldn't want my aunt to be alone nor would I not want to be with her. I have tried to speak to my partner about this but he just says he doesn't know what to suggest.
Please help ladies I could really use some advice right now.
xx

I am so sorry to hear your news. Puts all my little problems iwth my wedding into place.

Not sure what to suggest. What do you think your aunt would want you to do? My thoughts are with you.

I think she would want us to go ahead as per...but then its my nephew too I feel I should be there to support him! God I hate this not knowing!

Oh honey, it is really hard to know what to say. Would your aunty want you to postpone? Can you try talking to your mum and seeing what she suggests. The only option I can think of is maybe if you do go ahead with the wedding and having a reserved best man in case, maybe one of the ushers and let them know the situation, I am sure they will understand and step in if needs be. Regarding the DJ I am sure if the BM is not there you can get a DJ at late notice. Was he actually going to DJ or have an ipod thing that he controls as if it is an ipod wired up to speakers anyone who has an ipod can control that.

My cousins gf has had cancer come back and we dont know if she is going to be there, She is only 21 and is going to lose all her hair. But they are going to know a few weeks before if she will be there or not. Will your aunty and the best man know a week before if they will be there as your aunty will know how she is feeling?

I am sorry hun, I dont know what else to suggest. x

Deep down I know my aunty would not want us to postpone and yes I think asking someone to stand in would be a good idea. He was going to get a PA system to do the music but I am sure I could get someone else to do that. Thank you so much for your advice. I have my fingers crossed for your cousin and will include her when I pray at night for my aunty! x

This is a difficult one but i can understand a similar thing happened to us (if you look at my early topics you can read all about it).
But to cut a long story short, hubby's mum was diagnosed with lung cancer in the July before we were due to get married in the October in Cyprus, everything was booked but she became more an more ill between the july and october.
After a real struggle she had to stay home and hubby's brother had to pull out too to stay and look after her.
yes it was sad on the day as we were all very aware of her abscence but we still had a nice wedding day and we shared the dvd and photos with her when we came back.
Your wedding is very close, so i think it's probably best to carry on and maybe have a plan b for your best man.
the best of luck to you.
x

THIS IS VERY DIFFICULT I AGREE, AS YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THE NEXT THREE WEEKS... COULD YOU SPEAK TO YOUR AUNT + SEE WHAT SHE SUGGESTS, SHE MAY HATE THE THOUGHT OF YOU CANCELLING + IT'S ALSO DOWN TO YOU HUN... WHY DON'T YOU SPEAK TO THE VENUE + SEE IF THEY WOULD LET YOU PROSPONE FOR A FEW MONTHS... THEY MAYBE HAPPY TO DO THIS IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES... BEST OF LUCK TO YOU...XX

Hello there, what a really difficult time you and your family are having. Firstly if your aunty has recurrent cancer, there are numerous treatments available to her, she may well not feel well enough to attend your day but thats not something you will know right away. I am sure your aunt would probably want to keep home life as normal as poss, so continue gently with your preparation. Things will be more clearer this wk as she should be seeing her oncologist asap.

If she cant be there and is hospitalised we had many a bride coming into see loved in their wedding clobber.

I hope you have some clearer news this wk and your aunty returns to good health as soon as poss xx

Just wanted to sympathise and tell you a similar story so you can use it to help make your decsion. I get married in a week's time and we have no idea if h2b grandad will be ther or not as he has terminal spine cancer and three weeks ago was placed in pallative c are. The doctors said it was unlikely we would even have to make a decision about the wedding as he thought he would not make it until then. However grandee is a fighter and he got through some of the related things he was suffering and is now back to a stage where he is taking his pain management and doing ok. He has been moved to a cottage hospital and is getting up and out of bed each day. We sat him down a couple of days ago and asked what he wanted us to do, he was appaled that we had even discussed postponing after 2 years of planning and was adament that he would be there. So basically we went ahead as normal. We will know on Wed when the doctor makes a decision if he is allowed to come. I have two table plans ready and we are going to just wait and see, i know in my heart he will do everything he can to be there.

So my point is i don't think your aunt would want you to cancel, i appreciate it is sad if a person is missing - it will be sad for all of us if grandee isn't there - but i also think it makes the ill person feel terrible if they believe they are the reason plans have been changed, so my advice would be go ahead but with caution and sensitivity. Hope this helps.

So sorry to hear about your aunt. I am in a similar situation with my stepdad who is at the end stages of throat cancer and i get married in 3 weeks too.
All the advice i can give is to never underestimate the strength of your aunt, i bet she's had her hat and shoes ready for months and will do anything to be wearing them with you on the day.
I would imagine that your aunt would never want you to cancel your day because of her, and even if she is not able to attend her thoughts would be with you.
I know that my stepdad is holding on to everything he has to be there for my day, but if he isn't then i know he'll be proudest star in the sky watching down and he'll still be part of it all.