Anyone having a bigger wedding second time round??

Just wondered if any of you girls were having a bigger second (or third!) wedding than your first?

My first wedding was a very small and cheap affair, register office and reception in a marquee at my parents house, my dress only cost £20 in the sale and no honeymoon (we were only 21 and had a 9 month old but to be honest it was more because neither of us really wanted to get married deep down)

This time I'm having a big budget wedding, proper wedding dress, big reception, the works. Most people haven't even commented on it but for some reason my mother has decided there is something wrong with me wanting a "proper" wedding and has been very reluctant to get involved at all :\( in fact, when I told her the budget she said "HOW MUCH?" and I had to practically force her to look at my dress!! I'm only 29 and it's h2b's first marriage so I didn't see any reason why I shouldn't have my dream wedding!

Anyone else doing the same, or have had similar reactions from family members or friends?

xxx

Just wondered if any of you girls were having a bigger second (or third!) wedding than your first?

My first wedding was a very small and cheap affair, register office and reception in a marquee at my parents house, my dress only cost £20 in the sale and no honeymoon (we were only 21 and had a 9 month old but to be honest it was more because neither of us really wanted to get married deep down)

This time I'm having a big budget wedding, proper wedding dress, big reception, the works. Most people haven't even commented on it but for some reason my mother has decided there is something wrong with me wanting a "proper" wedding and has been very reluctant to get involved at all :\( in fact, when I told her the budget she said "HOW MUCH?" and I had to practically force her to look at my dress!! I'm only 29 and it's h2b's first marriage so I didn't see any reason why I shouldn't have my dream wedding!

Anyone else doing the same, or have had similar reactions from family members or friends?

xxx

Yes I'm doing the same too. First wedding was in Jamaica with immediate family, 11 years ago. It was nice, but we didn't have a wedding reception on return to UK (regret that).
I'm getting married next October, and my H2B also had a small wedding first time round, so we want to go for BIG wedding and reception this time round. My parents are very happy for us because we're happy. Although they haven't shown any interest in getting involved, yet.
I am having a double wedding with my twin sister and her H2B. Tonight we're taking our parents for a meal at the venue we have chose. See what happens!!
My mum has shown an interest in our wedding dresses and is coming with us to help my sister choose her dress (but my sister had to approach her).
I don't see why your mum is showing reluctance. Maybe try asking her? She maybe feeling that you're not involving her? We can't expect people to show an interest. It might be easier asking her opinion on colour schemes, cakes, etc, then she may surprise you.
Whatever happens, it is your day and this time round you will want it to be a day to remember. I most definitely am! If that means having a bigger budget, then why not? I am the happiest lady in the world to have found my H2B, and we want to share that with others by doing it our way xx

I will be 55 when I get married next year and my mum has asked if she can buy my dress and the bridesmaids (my 2daughters and 2 grandaughters).
She is also paying for the cake.
But the day will be better than mine or h2bs first weddings. I got married at 11am and we had a buffet in a working mans club, and were on our way to a flat in Torquay for our honeymoon by 3pm. This time we are having a sit down meal for 50 family and close friends, an evening for around 100 and a Med cruise for honeymoon. Def better than the first time!! Oh and my first dress was made - cost £9 for material and £6 to have it made!! (1977)

[Modified by: bladette on November 14, 2009 07:03 PM]

Hi girls glad to see I'm not on my own!!

Mrschard2b I've really tried to get her interested, I live abroad and obviously wanted to keep her as much in the loop as possible but she just shows such complete disinterest its so upsetting! When I told her I'd bought my dress she said I shouldn't have done because I might change weight!! I've been a size 8 for about the last 5 years!! I asked her to bring me some wedding mags from the uk when she came to visit a few weeks ago (she comes over about 6 times a year so it's not as if I don't see her) and she just moaned about them making extra weight in her case!! MIL2B has been amazing, bringing me mags, wanting to see my dress as soon as I got it, always asking how the planning is going etc. I can only imagine that as its my 2nd wedding my mum thinks she's done her MOB job first time and now she's happy to sit back and be a guest.

anyway that was far too long a rant, sorry!!! A joint wedding sounds lovely, hope the meal goes well! What's the venue like? Is it your twin's second wedding too or her first? How exciting to be doing it together! I'm sure your parents will show more of an interest as I'm hoping mine will, we'll just have to force it on them!! lol xx

bladette, good on you having a big wedding for your 2nd time, I know the older you get the more it seems to be frowned upon, as if it's not as important a commitment once you get past a certain age! Lovely of your mum to contribute to the dresses as well, I'm sure she'll be so proud to not only watch her daughter but also her grand and great grandaughters on the day! xx

It's nice to hear that MIL2B is so enthusiastic and keen to be involved That's great! It's a shame your mum is behaving that way, she might change nearer to your wedding date, but there's no point in questioning yourself over it. It is her problem/decision to behave this way, and you can't take responsibility for her. I agree we'll force it upon them!!
My FIL2B isn't interested in our wedding either, and won't be attending. In an ideal world we would want him to be happy for us and attend, but we know he won't and accept that.
Yes my twin sister is 2nd time around too. We're all very close, so it only seemed appropriate that we share the same day. We're definitely not wearing matching dresses!
The meal went well last night, although my parents didn't ask questions about the wedding at all, but we did tell them about our plans and they did listen. Well we are forcing it upon them, and it's up to them now on how much involvement they want.
The venue was nice, the food was outstanding and so was the service. The only niggle we have is the exterior isn't great. We have looked at lots of venues and this one (Brandon Hall) is ticking more of the boxes for us. We're so determined to have our day exactly how we want it. We're all so excited, I think this is because the four of us are so close. When are you getting married? Are you getting married in this country or where you live? I'm so interested to hear your plans xx

So glad the meal went well, what was bothering you about the outside? Am just about to google it so I'll let you know what I think if you like?

I just love the idea of a double wedding, especially with your twin! Who's idea was it or did you come to it together? It's great that you're so close. and it must be so much fun organising together, no BM, MOH or even MOB is ever as interested as the bride in her own wedding but as there's two of you you can totally immerse yourselves in planning!!
Maybe thats why your parents aren't involving themselves as much? They might think you have it all in hand, or possibly might be feeling overwhelmed?
Yes thank god for MIL2B, I'm really hoping my mum begins to take more of an interest, but tbh she has really upset me up to this point and I actually can't be bothered to speak to her about it any more. As I've got MIL2B to chat with I'll take advantage of that.

We're getting married here in Spain, it seemed the easiest thing to do as I wasn't sure I could plan a wedding from another country! Also the weather here is much better (23 degrees today!) and most of our friends are here. We're having the ceremony and reception in a hotel (still looking at options as some of them are very expensive) I'm getting the cake made by choccywoccydodah and brought over (hopefully, we're still discussing the logistics!!) The good thing about living in a holiday resort is that we know loads of DJ's and one of our friend's band is playing as well. As I've said my dress is a proper wedding dress, an Ellis Bridal 11034 in ivory, I'm seriously going all out as it feels like my first wedding in a way!!

What about you? Tell me more about your day!! :\) xxx

The outside of the main hotel is nice. The function suite (Woodlands suite) looks like it belongs on a football ground. Inside it's lovely though. The staff at the hotel seem to bend over backwards, and the food is good. The function suite has it's own bar, toilets and lounge area, so all self contained.
My parents are never keen to get involved in anything really. They do keep themselves to themselves, and don't like to give any input. You're right! having my sister to share the planning and excitement is fab. Joint wedding was an idea we both thought of and all four of us have spent a long time discussing it over before we made a decision. We all like similar things and enjoy the same things too. We're both having an Ian Stuart dress although my sister has had a major dress wobble, so we're going back to Oxford in a fortnight for her to try on more dresses. I'll try and upload a photo of mine.
I've googled yours and it's stunning, especially will look good on a size 8 frame. It looks like its silk dupion, which I love. How great to get married in Spain, you lucky lady!!
I've heard of choccywoccydodah, I'll have to google that too. I'm hoping to have a cake the same as my profile pic, as it's my favourite so far. We're having a band too, along with disco.
Going to have entertainers for the drinks reception and start of wedding breakfast. We found a great magician called Ben Hanlin. We're adamant we want all guests to have a fun time and have decided to not invite children (apart from our own), as we're worried that guests will leave early to get children in bed. We'd much prefer our friends to be relaxed and stop over at the hotel.
We really want the ceremony to be romantic as much as possible. Going to personalised our vows, have lots of flowers and candles, etc.
But we do want it to be different too (not sure how yet).
We too want to seriously go all out on our wedding, and ensure it's a day to remember. My sister and I are enjoying the research.
When are you getting married? Good luck in finding the right venue.
We've got 321 days to go!!! xx

I've just been on choccywoccydoodah website, the cakes look amazing, in fact works of art! What's yours like?

I've had a look at Brandon Hall, it looks really nice, very modern on the outside I don't think it looks like it belongs at a footy stadium at all!! It's just very modern compared to some older country houses etc, are there nice grounds to have the pics done?
With regards to parents I suppose we just assume that as they brought us up they'd be interested and want involvement in every bit of our lives, and they do have their own lives to lead too, I'm sure closer to the time my mum will want to be clued in, as I'm sure your parents will!
Ian Stuart dresses are lush, what one have you chosen? I had a bit of a wobble a few weeks ago, think its normal and I hope your sis gets over hers
Your wedding sounds quite similar to ours, I don't want it to be really formal cos thats not how we are as people just want a big party with nice food, drink and entertainment that keeps people dancing all night!
Your cake looks sooooo nice, really yummy!! Where is it from?
The cake I'm hopefully getting is in the bespoke wedding cake section, called petite roccoco tiers, everyone loves chocolate don't they! We're gonna serve it as dessert as well.
I know what you mean about children, there will be a few babies at ours but they sleep in buggies anyway, and then there will be my 8 year old (who'll be 9 by then) and my MOH's 5 year old who will be 6 so they'll stay up anyway!
Ceremony sounds wonderful, very romantic with the candles, I'd love us to write our own vows but don't think I'd be able to!! We're getting married in october next year xxx

The main hotel (white building) is nice. The Woodlands suite is a separate building, which is what we'll use (this is the one that looks more suited to a football ground). The staff said we can cover up the blue sign on the front of it.
The grounds at the hotel are great for photos, I think we're just being a bit too picky!
The cake is from Waitrose, and we can dress it ourselves with fruit and dust with icing sugar as in the picture.
Yes of course everyone loves chocolate, I love all chocolate, milk, white and dark, just can't get enough! (it's all the running I have to do afterwards to make up for the pleasure that is the problem).
We're going to serve our wedding cake with the evening buffet. We're having bacon rolls for evening buffet. Vegi sausages for the vegetarians.
I get so excited about our wedding when I talk about it! We're getting married on 2nd October next year.
Why can't you write your own vows? You can get ideas of the Internet for inspiration, and then write down what's personal to you.
I'm going to send you pic of my dress, as it isn't in IS collection so can't be googled.
:\) xx

I'm having more people, but probably aboutthe same budget... 4K (I hope lol)

I had 45 specified by my mum family (you must invite them it's the rules) and a handful of friends last time for a stuffy sit down meal I didn't like and which I had to miss half of to breast feed my son. Then all my guests joined the wedding dance next door, on the invite of the bride and groom there............ they had a ball and asked me to come, but my groom wouldn't go and said I shouldn;t be the 2nd bride at a wedding and I was left alone with the littleun as the groom collapsed in a drunken stupour.

I knew it was a mistake. I cried the whole day, even on the way to the ceremony, but sometimes you "do the done thing".... hey ho, all gone now!!!

This time I'm having upwards of 70 friends I haven't even thought of the number of family yet but it's alot less, for a funfilled relaxed day. My details are not sorted yet, but it's my opinion and that of my groom and our children that are holding sway this time.

I understand to a certain degree, the "I pay I get to decide" mentality of some parents, mine had that last time as they paid for the reception £2.5k of the £4k. But it's far from ideal!

This time it's so much more fun!

mrschard2b have you sent me a piccy of your dress?? Reception sounds fantastic, bacon butties yum!! We're having a late afternoon wedding so only going to have the wedding breakfast as an evening meal. What a good idea with the cake, if only the same sort of thing could be done over here but Spanish wedding cakes are nothing like the ones we have in the UK!! Whats your colour scheme as it's an autumn wedding? xxx

2ndllucy congrats to you! I know exactly what you mean about parents dictating if they're paying, as I've said mine aren't taking much of an interest so i'm ok at the moment but if they start "suggesting" guests i will not be happy!! Glad you're looking forward to this one and know it's going to be what you want!
Are you wearing a proper wedding dress? x