Pregnant Friend

Now this isn't about weddings so hope nobody minds the post, but i want opinions on something. One of my friends is pregnant and has just announced that she's going to have a baby shower. I think this is so presumptious, forcing people to give her gifts! It's an american thing and not something we do in the uk. Fair enough if you're friends want to throw one for you but i don't think you should say you're having one! The thing that annoys me the most is when her and her boyfriend came to my wedding last year, they did not get us a gift. Does anyone else feel it's rude? I would never have the audacity to force this upon my friends!

Now this isn't about weddings so hope nobody minds the post, but i want opinions on something. One of my friends is pregnant and has just announced that she's going to have a baby shower. I think this is so presumptious, forcing people to give her gifts! It's an american thing and not something we do in the uk. Fair enough if you're friends want to throw one for you but i don't think you should say you're having one! The thing that annoys me the most is when her and her boyfriend came to my wedding last year, they did not get us a gift. Does anyone else feel it's rude? I would never have the audacity to force this upon my friends!

Not much to say except I generally agree with you!

I am of the same thinking as you. If you're going to have a baby shower it should be thrown for you, not by you. Are you sure she's expecting gifts? One of my friends had a 'baby celebration/shower' but it was literally cup cakes and tea in the garden in summer and we were told it was 'no presents, but your presence'... but admittedly everybody bought gifts anyway! lol

She has not said not to get gifts and to be honest why else would you throw a shower other than a way of getting gifts? We have her 30th birthday which we are all going out for, and also we meet up quite regularly for food at each others houses, so it's not just a celebration she clearly expects gifts. I almost feel like making an excuse and not going, and then taking a gift for the baby when it's born as i was planning to do.

I think its a tradition for everyone to see the mum before she becomes too busy when baby arrives... but also i guess these days to now get presents.

I would never go to a shower without a gift... but for my pregnant friend I made her a nappy cake as then its personal.

I actually think baby showers are kinda creepy and a bit dull, but maybe thats just me, i'd prefer dinner out to be honest lol. Yummers.

Ummm, yes I do think it's a bit cheeky that your friend has decided to throw herself a baby shower, obviously if someone else takes it upon themselves to host one for you that's a bit different.

Myself and a friend are throwing one for a pregant friend of our as her birthday present (she will be 8 months pregnant at the time).
We are doing an afternoon tea party and have some really fun games lined up. We have also kept the guest list to close friend's and family as we didn't want to invite people that would feel that they would have to buy gifts when they ordinarily wouldn't when baby comes!

I think that a baby shower, when it's done right is a lovely way to help the couple prepare for their little bundle as the gifts that are usually given are thing's that will be needed and come in useful to the parents.
We have also made it clear to the friends that are coming if they would prefer to wait until baby comes to give any presents, that's fine and they can just come and celebrate in our friends happiness because afterall, that is what it's all about!! xxBBxx

When my best friend had a baby shower organised by her mum and sister (who are very into American stuff) I went but didn't take a present. I had already bought a relatively expensive present to be delivered to her house which was practical and what she wanted so I didn't want to buy a token teddy bear.

I think your friend has been rude but I would probably go along with good grace, take a present and then just give a card when baby arrives.

I can't help thinking they're very cheeky, especially if she isn't particularly generous when it comes to pressent buying herself. I am 11 weeks pregnant and don't want a baby shower. If my friends want to meet up for something around that time, then fine. But for me, these are definetly an indirect way of asking for presents. If I were you, I'd probably find a way of not going.

Got to agree with everyone! I do think baby showers are a nice idea but I think it's quite strange to throw one for yourself! If you don't want to go then don't but if you do I would take a small gift and that's it. If she's not a very thoughtful person anyway I would just make an excuse as to why I can't go. So strange she's throwing herself one...!

Wow you seem very jealous indeed.

Sorry but do you not possibly think she is just genuienly excited about having a baby and see wants everyone round to celebrate that?

Usually someone else would throw a baby shower but if all her friends are like you it's no wonder she's throwing it herself.

This may seem really harsh but I do think you need to take a step back and read this post from an 'outsiders' point of view.

Sorry... but I have to agree with Bride zoola... perhaps not jealous.. but still bitter from the fact she didnt bring you a wedding gift? Although I'm surprised at this... as you expected one for your wedding, but think bad of her to throw a shower.. isnt it the same level of expectation?

To be honest, for a new baby, just like a wedding... its pretty much accepted that people will give gifts... and I think a shower is just a nice way of getting together for a new babys arrival... like a hen party but for a baby birth rather than a wedding... You wouldnt buy the hen a present, but you'd probably buy a drink.. so really a nominal pack of baby wipes or a baby book for a few pounds I think isnt much to ask for a friend.

I think for a friend.. I'd always want to make them feel lovely about a major event in their life.. maybe your issue is with this girl, and not particularly the shower?