Feeling lonely - no friends

I think I've probably wrote about this topic a million times on here already so sorry if your reading it again but I just need to vent.

Im really looking forward to my wedding but its just reminding me of how lonely I am
My h2b is amazing, I really dont deserve him, I hate talking to him about this stuff as I dont want to drag him down adn I know it would hurt him that I'm feeling crap.
It gets depressing looking at the guest list as the only people I have on my side are my family. I know Im very fortunate to have my family around me, I dont mean anything bad by saying just my family but your family have to like you (well sort of), the whole guest thing is just highlighting the fact that I dont have any friends to invite. I'm even using my h2b's best friends wife as my MOH.

Time to get the violins out:
I have never had big groups of freinds but I've close to a few people and sure enough one by one they stopped talking to me for whatever reason.

I was really good friends with a girl in highschool she left to go to college, she got a boyfriend and started hanging out with new people so she didnt have time for me. I would phone her but she'd never be in but she would never try to contact me, so that was the end of that friendship.

Last year of highschool got friendly with another girl that had moved just moved to my school, things were going great with her then she got a boyfriend, her boyfriend was always insulting people all the time so it was hard to be around him but it got to the point she didnt want to go out without him, so eventually started seeing less less of her.

Got on really well with one of my h2b's freinds girlfreinds, then they broke up so didnt get to see her. We would exchange texts/emails she would make and break lucnch dates all the time.

Then a few years back, got on really well with the new girl at work then she fell out with me over a stupid comment that the a**h*** of the office made. Was really hurt that she took his side even though she knew what he was like, after that she didnt really want to talk to me. She perked up last year when it was her wedding, she would sit and chat with me and I thought everything was going to be fine afterall and then a couple of weeks before her wedding, she just stopped talking to me again We've not had a decent conversation for a year.

My h2b always worrys about me as I never go out. He has a close group of friends and goes out quite a lot. I think I just feel rejected, dissheartened. My house is my little shell, although I'm lonely in it, nobody can hurt me here!

Sorry this was long.......just had to get it out.

[Modified by: miss july on 13 March 2010 09:25:47 ]


[Modified by: miss july on 13 March 2010 21:20:31 ]

Where abouts do you live

aww hun, it can be tough keeping friends or you feeling like you do all the chasing and ur mates not being that bothered.
I always say it's better to have a few close friends than a massive group.
Sure it's nothing to do with you, but probably just don't pick the best people to try and be mates with but it's all a learning curve.

Where do u live hun? Have u though about poss trying to join a club for an activity to meet new people? xx

Hi I understand exactly how you feel I could have written your post myself apart from I have 2 children and 1 on the way so have something to occupy me.
My hubby also has a big circle of friends who he goes out with and it can feel lonely.
Email me if you fancy a chat.
x

Ditto, i moved 250 miles away to a new town nearly 2 years ago to live with my h2b, left my family and friends. I have made a few friends since i have lived here but no one that i would feel would want to go abroad to attend my wedding. H2b has a small group of friends he sees a lot and goes out to the pub with at least twice a week. I do start to worry about when we get married as its mostly going to be his family and friends as im only inviting my mum and 1 of my brothers and 1 friend (and even she might not be able to make it as she travels frequently)

I feel your pain, it is hard to make friends as an adult, even though i have spent 2 years travelling solo around the world and had no trouble making friends, it seems so much harder back home, or maybe its because i moved down south and we are much more friendly up north!!:\)

Miss Juky where abouts you from? maybe you could arrange a meet up on here in your area and get to know some of the ladies from here!! xx

i know EXACTLY how you feel, i have moved 3000 miles away from my family and friends and the best friend i have here is my MiL2be!
Oh and another lady (she's about 60) nothing against her but it's rather sad as i am not even 21 yet! My sister and parents are coming over for the wedding so i've got her as a bridesmaid but they still live so far away i wasn't able to share my planning or anything with them properly, i would have loved to go dress shopping with my mum and my sister but i couldn't! i don't think this is going to be helpful to you but all i wanted to say is, i really do feel for you, i'm really lonely as well! *sadface*

edited for typos

[Modified by: amelie1989 on March 13, 2010 11:56 PM]

i little bit like my stort hun dont worry your not on your own really:) i moved away from my home town never kept in touch with my friends ,the only friends i really have arethe lovely ladies i stand with at school hes./my partner / is my best friend really but he cant b moh ect lolol....just incase you live near im from wigan lancs if so we could get a few girls off site in area to meet up make new friends

Miss July, I feel for you. I moved to Italy a couple of years back and it took me a good 6 months to start meeting people and making friends. I find having dinner parties is nice - I invited a few colleagues from work and we get together regularly now and new friendships have formed.
Or joining a club or course in your area to meet new people is always a good way to do it. I remember when my friends all moved away from our town I joined the gym and met a really good couple of friends there.
Good Luck xx

I feel that alot of the friends that we are inviting are 'more his than mine' ... I have an awful previous relationship where I lost my schoolfriends and then had my daughter at 17, so ended up having nothing in common with any of them.
I can count my really good friends on less than a hand ... but I like it that way - and I get on with the lads too, which is better than disliking H2Bs friends as so often happens.

I dont know where you are ... but I am in Hampshire - if you are nearby, and want to meet up then email me x

Hey,

Losing friends is really hard, and Im so sorry you feel so down.

I just wanted to send you a big hug and let you know that you're not alone x

K x

It's so painful when you are no longer friends with someone you were once so close to and shared everything with. I have 2/3 close friends who aren't in the same location and I really miss having a girly gang. I'm not looking forward to organising my Hen Night.

Making a proper friend who you have a connection with only happens every few years in my experience. Obviously you maximise your chances by going out and meeting people as often as you can (same with trying to meet a man ). In my twenties I was lonley after university and I joined a social group and I had a fantastic few years!!! I met another friend when I joined a salsa class. I also found local evening education classes run by the council and did first aid and Indian Head Massage. Even if you don't find a friend at every class, just being busy and social feels good.

Good luck.

hi miss july

where are you from?? im the same hun i know how you feel, i have 2 BM one lives miles aways so dont get to see her and the other is always too busy... and she always make lunch dates and breaks them 2 hrs before im dreading my hen night i dont really know some of the girls that are going, i also got close to h2b best mates girlfriend but they fell out so she wont talk to me either

maybe you could plan a meet ith some ladies on here?

Tammy

Hey Miss July,

You are not alone!! I feel exactly the same way as you! My H2B has a group of his old school friends who live quite close, and he goes out to the pub etc with them quite regularly, or will go over to leeds for anight out and stay over. Whilst I belive that couple's really need to have their own lives and do things apart, I hate it when he goes away, not so much for being on my own, but (horribly I hate admitting) i feel jealous over how close his group are, and that they have known each other so long. When I was at primary school and secondary school I had a group of about 7 of us who were all best friends, and over the years through college I became the odd one out and joined a new group who I got on with much better. I made good friends with a girl who is now my MOH, but the rest of the group all knew each other from childhood, so i just kind of stood out.

At uni i made loads of friends, and had quite a sociable life, living close to everyone and the student union really helps that! BUt i went to uni in Herts, and live in Humberside, so when i finished uni and moved home, all of the people from uni lived in the south and I suddenly was alone. My best friend then moved to london, and i spent a long time being very alone, sad and dependent on H2B for company.

he was really understanding but it obviously was hard when he fel guilty for seeing his friends.

he was always encouraging me to make friends with the GFs of his friends, which i did, but building a group of friends with close relationships is hard as an adult!! I became quite close with a girl who i saw each week, and then she got engaged to a soldier, and i didn't see her anymore. I think she is moving to london soon too.

I think the best way for you to get past this is, as the other girls say, join a group or a club, sports clubs are great. I joined a rounders team with work and they are pretty sociable, so I just try to include myself in everything!!
This year i just made a promise to myself to make an effort to see people, even though they live a long way away, so i'vebeen everywhere each weekend trying to make an effort!!

It still doesn't fill the void i feel of having a group of close friends with a strong, historic relationship, but i imagine that that is myth in a lot of people's lives, and to have a few really good friends is the most important thing.

Where abouts do you live? Hope you feel better soon. Just jump in to everything you can, it takes time but you will get there. x xx

Thanks everone who has left a reply.

A lot of the time I dont mind not having a close a friend.....I mean I would like it but I'm used to not having someone close (apart from h2b), most of the time i've accepted thats just how lifes panned out but everynow and then (ie the night I wrote this thread) I just get really down about it.

I love the fact the my h2b has a close group of freinds, Im not jealous just envious. He's going abroad for his stag with his closest mates (who are also our Ushers), he deserves it as he such a good guy. A MOH and MIL2B have asked me what Im doing about a hen night
I've not decided yet but right now I just dont feel like not having one.