Help me, I think Im on the verge of a breakdown

Ive posted another forum last night, I really need help.

I feel like Im on the verge of a nervous breakdwon. 4 months before the wedding and am feeling panicky, alone, run down and distressed.

Getting no support from my parents, my H2B or anyone. Everyone is trying to blame me for things going wrong and it being so stressful.

I feel panicky, nervous and to top it off have the flu so feeling like vomiting.

Noone seems to care about me or my feelings, my H2B is doing nothing for the wedding and my parents are gettnig at me about the guest list (see last forum). I just feel like running away from it all and doing something silly.

Im a good person and dont deserve this, its supposed to be a happy special time and I am stressed, run down, nervous and look awful.

My parents stressing me out if having an impact on relatiionshp with partner, we are now arguing, hes saying I am making it stressful but Im not...its because I am so upset that my parents have invited so many people that I dont want and I am having to cut my side of the guest list quite drastically and my H2B isnt really making attempts to reduce his.

I had to take control of the guest list as noone was doing anything and am on deadline for invites, just receievd an email from my dad saying 'May I remind you that its our resposbility to send these out' - Im not sending Im just pulling together the information!! Im 34 and he treats me like a child.

I just feel like doing something silly so they all take note of how stressed I am and how bad I am feeling/
Please help me before I have a breakdown or something.

Noone cares, I have noone to turn to, even my partner has just said he doesnt need me after a massive row. I just want to die.;

Oh honey...dont do anything silly, take a deep breath, make a cuppa...something!

We all care on here, dont ever feel you have NO ONE to turn to, there is always someone willing to listen. Sometimes thats all it takes, is to know that when your explaining how you feel - that someone is listening and taking on board how you are feeling.

We all say things we dont mean in the heat of an arguement, so I would take anything your partner said with a pinch of salt.

Is there one of them in particular, that you could talk to on their own so that they see how their actions are affecting you, and then they could speak to the others and get them to ease up a bit?
Or even a friend, whos not so much involved in your situation?
Sorry if im no help, keep your chin up!

HUGS

x
x
x

is it just your dad or your mum too, could you speak to her and explain how bad your feeling, or do you have a bridesmaid you can call on, you need to speak to someone xx

Didnt want to read and run

Just wanted to send you some hugs and love!!!!

Weddings are so stressful who would have thought I was sure this whole planning would be fun

L
xxx

deep breaths. are you certain that you are marrying the right man?

x

Hi chick,

I can so understand your plight as this happened to me (first time around). My parents paid for my wedding, which didnt end up being my wedding as I had no say or real imput into things. I can laugh about it now but I spent alot of the reception being introduced to guests at my wedding as they were either family I had never met or friends of my parents.
At the time I was a young 23 year old and went with the flow, I dont think I was equipped to break the parental confines.

Dont do anything silly, especially not to gain attention, in my experience (x nurse) it doesnt work, people only think they have to take more control as "you obviously cant cope".

Are you having additional guests to an evening reception? if so then insist that you and h2bs friends get the invites. Could you invite your friends etc to see the ceremony then return if your having a seperate evening reception. I have found that good friends do understand when tricky situations are explained to them (thats why they are friends, they have choosen to be).

Your only other option is to sit and calmly (god I know its hard) talk to your folks, you could do with getting h2b onside too before you go in. Get your facts and case together beforehand, try to not to get emotional (says she who cries at adverts) and try to compromise.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hey,
So sad you're feeling that way. I am sure your fiance and you love each other very much (even if we all get a bit stupid sometimes when we argue!) and that's what I think a wedding is all about.
Just wanted to send some hugs to make you feel better.
Take care and shout if you need more support x

please don't do anything silly? Can you go for a walk and clear your head a bit?? xx

whoa..... ok hunny, do not think of silly things to do!Undoubtedly you are feeling worse as you are ill and you always feel horrible when you are ill and you can let situations run away with you.

I think you really need to try to discuss things with your h2b and your parents calmly, no crying.

Where is your mum's support in all this? Does she not have an opinion?

You do sound very stressed but I think the wedding has grown it's own legs and is running away.

Be very clear about what you do want and want you don;t want... it might help to write it down.

If I was having such trouble, I think I would just go sod it, it isn't worth all the hassle and just find some money from somewhere to accomodate the people you want to invite.

I would also be sorely tempted to send your Dad an email saying.." may I remind you whose wedding this is!" but I think it will come across as being a bit arse y! xx

Thanks for your posts ladies.

The only person I can really speak to me is my mum, or my friend who lives 300 miles away. Am close to my sis in law but wouldnt want to talk to her as I dont want anyone looking at my parents at the wedding like they are orgres as they are really not.

I spoke to my mum in privacy last week and she told my Dad...

I spoke to my brother who am close to who then said I overracted when he told me my dad still wasnt happy about the guest list..well yes I did get annoyed as why should he dsicuss it with my brother when we sat down weeks ago and I thought it was all sorted.

We are having additional guests to the recpetion but I just dont think I would feel right saying come to the church, go home and then come back as we cant afford to feed you

Ive already emailed my Dad and told him not to treat me like a child as dont appreciate 'May I remind you' like I am 10 years old.

My H2B isnt being supportive, he just stays out of it so am just upstairs by myself watching TV to try and take my mind off it. Its just really unfair, Im being seen as BRIDEZILLA because I am so emotional and I am just sick of it all.

Noone has helped me with anything, my mum has ordered the BM dreses and come to all my appointments with me for my dress but in terms of actual support with the planning, nothing - yes she has been there for advice but in terms of doing anything - nothing, same as H2B.

I thought wedding planning was supposed to be fun?

4 months to go and I feel like zombie.
I will walk down the aisle looking a right state if this continues. Noone seems to care about me, they are just worried about themselvse and their role in the wedding.

Meeting our wedding coordinator tomorrow and mum supposed to be coming, Dad has said he will come (this was last week) - why would my dad want to come and discuss colour schemes and table plans? Then if he comes then my partner should come? 4 of us to see a wedding coordinator? Its just like they want to be involved with the fun bits and nothing more - and thats no on.

Ive emailed my dad following his email and said that I will pay for my friends if this is the way it has to be. Guess this will cause more grieve.

We will discuss this week once I have got rid of this flu. Honestly though I am just sick of it - all the time when I was making sugestions on cutting down on the wedding and my parents didnt like it..No favours, marry on a weekday, save cake as dessert, cut back on flowers and they didnt like any of my ideas but would rather cut back on guests at the reception!!!

We have to have 90 as a minumum - the venue has stated.

Is my wedding now going to be awful because it has so much bad feeling surrounding it? Maybe its an omen!

Sorry its so long, just need to vent I think. Thanks so much to you al for being here for me..x

to top it off my partner keeps going around the house flipping turning all the lights off in the house like Im not even bloody here which is not helping the way I feel!

aw hon I think you need to have an early night and switch off from thinking about the wedding.. you are clearly feeling rough from the flu. Have a bath, an early night and sleep on it!

It seems your mum is piggy in the middle with respect to you and your dad and that's not a fun job either.

sweetheart, your h2b needs to support you through this. otherwise, seriously, why are you considering marrying him? you shouldn't be feeling alone. you should feel cherished and loved. i know that this is probably sacrilegious on this site but weddings are unimportant in comparison to the marriage. blink and you'll miss it. as wonderful as my day was it was just one day. since the wedding my husband and i have been through hard times and thank god he has supported me every step of the way. that's what you deserve.

what are your h2b's reasons for not helping you, especially with your dad?

x

I agree with you mrs luckyvic, why isn't your h2b supporting you through all this and helping you?

It's not great to bury his head in the sand while you get mega stressed. it is HIS wedding too!

One of the reasons I know my h2b is for me is that we have gone through some rough times while we have been together and we still are in respect of some issues but we stick at it together and we know the wedding is just one day! x