Feeling guilty!

Hi ladies

just feeling rather guilty today for 2 reasons:

Yesterday took my mum to a possible wedding venue which H2B and I really love and thinking of booking. As it happened there was a wedding about to take place so we stood and watched the bride arrive, mum commented (all excited) that the dress was very simular to mine with the rouching - right in front of H2B, I told her off and told her never to talk about wedding dresses again to anyone, ever as now she may have spoilt it for us. As it happens we aren't getting married until 2012 and H2B didn't hear but I was rather upset. She didn't mean it and was so upset after, also she has had a lot of problems with family issues and has had to deal with a lot recently and I don't think she is very well as I feel she is starting to not be able to concentrate as much as she used too and always in a world of her own.

Secondly, you know how H2B's often leavce the arty stuff to us ladies, well I kinda started making plans about our wedding on my own (I did consult him on everything and as it happens he has made decisions i.e colours, venue, type of wedding. But he feels that I am taking over and not allowing him to look at stuff on his own.

I'm just excited about everything and want it all perfect on the day, I do a lot of arts and crafts and so naturally started playing with ideas and showing them to him.

However he now feels left out and I feel rather upset that I have hurt his feelings - I genuinenly didn't realise he was that into the finer details of wedding planning even down to what colour ribbon we use on the cards.

I have now taken a bit of a backstep this afternoon (found out this morning how he was feeling when he opened up to me) and have asked him to design the swirls on the stationery himself.

But this doesnt stop me feeling rotten though, and, I really fancy playing around this afternoon with designs now all the housework is done and we are just quietly playing on our laptops!

Sorry this is a bit of a long winded message - I dont expect any responses just writing down my feeelings as I've got no-one to talk to at the moment about how I am feeling.


xxx

Hi ladies

just feeling rather guilty today for 2 reasons:

Yesterday took my mum to a possible wedding venue which H2B and I really love and thinking of booking. As it happened there was a wedding about to take place so we stood and watched the bride arrive, mum commented (all excited) that the dress was very simular to mine with the rouching - right in front of H2B, I told her off and told her never to talk about wedding dresses again to anyone, ever as now she may have spoilt it for us. As it happens we aren't getting married until 2012 and H2B didn't hear but I was rather upset. She didn't mean it and was so upset after, also she has had a lot of problems with family issues and has had to deal with a lot recently and I don't think she is very well as I feel she is starting to not be able to concentrate as much as she used too and always in a world of her own.

Secondly, you know how H2B's often leavce the arty stuff to us ladies, well I kinda started making plans about our wedding on my own (I did consult him on everything and as it happens he has made decisions i.e colours, venue, type of wedding. But he feels that I am taking over and not allowing him to look at stuff on his own.

I'm just excited about everything and want it all perfect on the day, I do a lot of arts and crafts and so naturally started playing with ideas and showing them to him.

However he now feels left out and I feel rather upset that I have hurt his feelings - I genuinenly didn't realise he was that into the finer details of wedding planning even down to what colour ribbon we use on the cards.

I have now taken a bit of a backstep this afternoon (found out this morning how he was feeling when he opened up to me) and have asked him to design the swirls on the stationery himself.

But this doesnt stop me feeling rotten though, and, I really fancy playing around this afternoon with designs now all the housework is done and we are just quietly playing on our laptops!

Sorry this is a bit of a long winded message - I dont expect any responses just writing down my feeelings as I've got no-one to talk to at the moment about how I am feeling.


xxx

I have a similar problem with my H2B! One minute he's refusing to have a conversation about something wedding-related, then he's complaining that i've made decisions, when I haven't, I'm just deciding what I like. I end up getting annoyed and shouting 'Do you want to be involved or not?! Make your mind up!'. This is a regular occurence! On designs for things, like our save the date cards, he says he doesn't care about 'arty farty' stuff, but then when I started putting templates together, he kept saying 'Oh no, I don't like that' and it took us ages to choose some because he didn't like any! He's fussy but won't co-operate in planinng! Grrrrrr, men!

LOL, I thought I was the only one with this issue, I do love my fella so much but this is quite frustrating!

Thanks for putting my mind to rest and letting me know that its not just me with this problem!

xxxx

No problem! I've figured i'll just let him come around to decision-making in his own time! He's under the impression that i'm deciding everything without him, when actually nothing has been bought or booked without his agreement! Men...

I've started narrowing things down to a shortlist of three or four ideas, like invitations. I pick the ones I like and then ask his opinion. I did the same with the photographer, showed him work from the ones I liked and said I thought we should get one who gives us a disc of the pictures and we agreed on one. I think it is natural to get carried away and want to do everything ourselves, forgetting it's his day too, but there's so much that most guys arent interested in! Mine isnt really bothered about flowers and as long as he can wear his own kilt, hes not bothered about colours either!
Jenx

Hia

Thank you all for replying, sorry I haven't responded sooner - time has just flown the past few weeks!

H2B is getting more and more interested I think he thinks if he doesn't get involved Ill make all the arrangements and he wont have a say (not that would ever happen).

He is actually quite involved now, he is taking an interest in designing the wedding stationery, choosing the venue, he wants to choose his own attire and that of his "men" and the wedding rings. He has said hes not interested in the flowers but he wants to help design the cake!

All is looking up on the man interaction front and he's actually stopped moaning that Im taking over as he realises he is actually doing quite a bit!

xxx

My h2b is the same - one minute he says I can just get on with it, I can make the decisions and the next he is saying he wants to be involved. It is driving me mad!!

Same here, it did make me feel a bit guilty but men just aren't as interested! I told him he can be in charge of the postbox as I'm ok with flat things such as invites, but useless with boxes etc! Also, sounds stupid but I bought a papercutter even though I could have used one at work, so we can print all our stuff off and sit and make everything together, team work!

Just make sure you ask his opinion everytime you design something etc, that's what I did and he actually came up with a few better ideas to what I had designed - they are useful for some things! Only joking

xxx

My OH wants to help in final decisions but not so much the initial invite. He has said he wants to do the invites himself, but I said can we not do together. Most other things he wants some say so I also get down to a final few ideas then show him.