too Ugly to be a bride...

Hi everyone,

I thought I would speak to you on here as I am too embarassed to talk to my friends about this.

I am 23 and I have suffered from an unknown disability since I was ten...Problems with my legs mainly pain! After years of heartache I got an answer last summer I have severe biomechanic problems and sacroilliac joint disorder...I read all the posts and I think I was told I had that too! now I have to see the physio all the time and for the past five years the dr's have tried different drugs on me thinking it was all a mental problem but then apologising cos its not!!

anyway my problem is I am 5"9, when I met my fiance I was 11stone and looked really slim...I try one drug from the dr and the weight piles on then the next drug makes it fall off and I have found my body in a cycle of yo-yoing in size...at the moment I am 15 and a half stone I feel awful...two years ago for my gradball I had to get a size 12 dress taking in and i felt amazing...then I got a new medication which helps and now I am just a fat size 16

I got engaged at xmas and my fiance wanted to have a big castle wedding with 120 guests but I said no I want to go abroad...he admitted he wanted a big wedding because he thought that I would want a big wedding as all my friend have done that! he said he wanted me to have it all...the truth is I am ugly I have no confidence and I just don't want to think about dresses or anything like that cos I can't even look at myself in the mirror...he says I give myself a hard time with all the pain I suffer etc but I just want to hide away!

Sorry for this long post I just dread the idea of being centre of attention even infront of a small number of guests!

M x

Hi
Dont worry about what anyone else thinks, were all a bit nervous of what other people will think of us, at the end of the day people that will be with you on your big day are those that have a big part in your life, they will be there to support you not to judge you, as they will have been up until now, enjoy your wedding planning, dont worry what others think, any ppl who judge are not worth the time of day. xx

i had to reply.

i'm not really sure what to say tbh, apart from, you have to love yourself first. i'm not sure how to start with that cos you sound pretty low...

perhaps think of your fave feature and concentrate on that for now. we all have insecurities, the point is we need to move past them to be able to love ourselves.

you will move past these.

your h2b sounds very supportive. perhaps talking to a friend too might help?

xxx good luck xxx

Hiya,

Couldn't read & run. I used to go to a pain clinic that tried all sorts of medication on me & my weight was up and down like you. I'm now settled on one med that although works ok it does seem to give me the permanent munchies! I'm the biggest I've ever been and was podgier for my wedding day than I would have liked.

However, I am an extrovert by nature, I love being the centre of attention. I had a big wedding but everyone we invited were people we loved. So I didn't mind what they thought as I knew they couldn't care less what weight I am.

But if you don't want a big wedding then don't have it!

I think taking various meds can make you feel a bit odd sometimes anyway. I have often felt not quite myself, maybe this has something to do with knocking your self confidence?

You sound like you have a wonderful h2b. It doesn't sound like he thinks you're fat or ugly. Maybe you could have a chat with your gp, he might be able to help?

Jane x

Sorry to hear how you feel hon. Also suffer froma chronis condition and was on steroids for a long time...huge hunger and massive weight gain, in addition to severe mood swings.

As the other ladies have said, yout h2b sounds like a diamond, wanting a big day cos he thought you would. All I can offer is have the day that will mean the most to the pair of you, as little stress as possible, just full of love with th epeople that matter most to you around you.

In the meantime, sign up for some treats if you can stretch to it, some facials, or pamper nights with the girls; and set yourself a sensible diet plan that will help you feel better. about yourself.

Think everything gets lost in wedding planning, but the important bit is how you and your h2b feel...basically the rest is just icing on the cake.

x

Sorry to hear your feeling like that petal! I am going through similar issues with my weight, I feel fab one week with x pill and the next week I look like I'm a big balloon with y pill! Just can't win.

But as the other ladies have said, it shouldn't matter how others see you, your h2b obviously loves you very much and no matter what your weight is I'm sure his feelings won't change. Maybe you should open up to a close friend or family member, even just your h2b and tell them how you are feeling. Also speak to your gp, tell him you are feeling low about your contant changes in weight and that you are planning your wedding so are feeling a bit more insecure about it now that you may usually feel.

I'm sorry I can't be much more help. Just gotta keep your head up, good luck! xXx

Hi everybody,

thank you so much for all the replies I kindof wrote that feeling really low and I can't believe you were all nice enough to reply!

Well I took your advice...I sat down with my GP and she was lovely as always...I told her how much I weigh and she made me stand on the scales because she didn't believe how heavy I said I was! she said you look much lighter than that.

I said well I am not and I can't keep feeling this low...so she has prescribed me Alli? Have you seen those slimming tablets advertised? I had no idea I could get this on Prescription, and I don't know how I feel about slimming pills either but I think I should just give it a go!

I spoke to my h2b and he was just happy cos I was a bit more up beat so fingers crossed I will see how it goes!

x

Good luck, im sure you will be fine, welcome frustration because that leads to change, you've took the bull by the horns and faced whats bothering you and now things can only get better.
xx

I feel the same, although i haven't been on any pain meds that make me loss weight! i picked up my wedding dress at the week end and although it does up its very tight and i don't feel comfortable in it and i have felts even more down about how i look, the pain and feeling trapped and not able to make any changes. I can't really exercise like a 'normal' person so feel like that only way i can change things is by diet - but i ready eat well and i've been cutting out the cake already!

What i was trying to say is I feel you pain and your not alone by any means. Try to keep you chin up and go with you gut on the details for the day.

CarlaBear x