Relief!!!

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to share my feeling of relief really!

My litlte girl is now a month old. Before she was born I was a bit worried about how I would cope with a baby, whether I would know what to do, would I even like my child, woudl we bond, would I survive on limited sleep, would I feel resentful, woudl it mess up my (fab) relationship with my husband etc etc etc.

Before having my own I'd never had anything to do with babies at all, just holding them briefly to admire politely and then passing them back in a slight panic at the first sign of trouble.

The first nappy I ever changed was my little Flora's in the hospital. The first time I dressed a baby it was her etc etc etc.

I know this might make me sound like a horrible person but this pregnancy was planned and wanted but I did continue to have these lurking doubts throughout.

Anyway, I am SO pleased to report that actually everything is pretty fabulous.

I don't really know what I'm doing half the time, we are picking it up as we go along. In many ways though Flora is a very simple little creature at the moment - she needs food, warmth, cuddles, clean nappies, sleep. She cries if there is something wrong and you can work through those things to try to put it right. Sometimes she just cries because she has the hump, in which case a big cuddle or a walk in the pram or baby carrier seems to do the trick.

I adore her. And I really love her. I feel very protective of her. If anyone were to ever hurt her I would probably kill them!

I don't feel resentful and I actually feel pretty bloody good considering I've been woken up at least every 3 and a half hours for the last month to feed her.

Our relationship is still great! We are being careful to be extra mindful of each other and to really take care of each other. It is really lovely.

That's not to say that all is perfect of course, when Flora cries and cries because she has trapped wind it is heartbreaking and I do feel pretty useless when I can't get her happy again straight away. I also worry about if I'm doing things right (am I stimulating her enough, too much, at all, is she getting enough milk, is she growing enough?!) but really I've taken to this pretty well, we are doing just fine and I'm really enjoying it.

I'm even (gasp!) dreading leaving her to go back to work - something I never thought I would feel!

I just wanted to post because I'm sure I can't be the only lady to have had these sorts of fears pre and during pregnancy.

Right, am off to the mother-in-law's for lunch so better start getting ready.

Hope veryone is well.

Ellie XX

Aaawww it good to hear everything is going so well....I'm currently having all the fears of will I be a good enough mum....I have 6 weeks to go before little Nell Grace arrives in the world. Just hope I cope as well as you appear to have coped!!

aww thats great, im glad your ok xx

I am so happy to read this Elly, I am having all those worries and more, expecially the ones about me and hubbie's relationship, I don't want anything to change (I know it will but you know what I mean). One of my close friends has an 7 week old and her hubbie now comes in picks up the baby and that's it, no hello kiss, how's your day for my friend, It's sad.

Glad to hear everything is going so well for you though, little Flora sounds fabulous! xxx

so glad everything is going well!!
i have 10 weeks to go and im starting to poo myself, i have all the same worries as you did, but its nice to hear somebody being so positive! hope i do cope as well though!! charl 29+5 x

Hi Elly, thanks for posting - I thought your message was lovely. I too have those worries even though our pregnancy is planned and we are happy. I think it's completely natural and normal at any stage in life. It's nice to hear how happy you are now and that those old fears have gone.

Thank you so much for posting, everything you said about your worries is exactly where I am, can I cope, will it change my life for the worse, not better and those general "what on earth have we done this for" feelings...

I am so pleased you are loving motherhood and it's great to hear from you.

Thank you so much for putting my mind at rest, you are absolutely right, you work your way through things, you may not get it right first time with baby, when she cries, but you need to learn together.. my biggest stress is mother in law sticking her oar in and telling me I am doing everything wrong - she really does have no tact.. I am so worried I'll physically throw her out of hte house and upset h2b in the process..

lots of love xx

Thanks for this Elly. I have all the same worries, so it's really good to hear that you are coping and happy. Also good to hear so many other ladies feel the same way too!

Jellybean - I am also worried about the mother-in-law thing. She's going to drive me mad I know it, but she means well so I hope I'm not too evil to her when the time comes!

Rhubarb x

Thanks ladies, all will be well I am sure.

The mother-in-law thing...hmmm! Mine is very sweet really and means well but gets my back up and says some often hurtful things and some downright weird things!!

I'm dealing with it in the same way as I did with her often bizarre suggestions for what we shoudl do for our wedding, nod, smile politely and say "mmm, interesting, we'll think about it" - and then just do what I was planning on doing all along anyway!

That and skin as thick as a rhino's!!!

X