Feeling like H2B isn't bothered...

hi ladies,

Sorry if I go on a bit here, but I just wanted to know if I'm overreacting....
Today is our first Valentine's Day as an engaged couple and H2B hasn't done anything - no flowers or gone anywhere, he has just sat in front of the TV watching the rugby. He knows I like it and like to do something, but he just doesn't seem bothered. We've ended up having a row and he called me some horrible things before storming off and I don't really know what to do.

At times like these I wonder if its all worth it - I don't seem to get much of anything from him anymore, no wedding input, no nothing.

xx

Ah, dont be sad.
Weddings are more for us girls, so dont worry about his lack of input - see it as a way of getting your own way! (yay!)
as for today, im sure you'll be able to salvage it, why dont you have a bit of time out and a bath or a sleep and then have a nice dinner and a glass of wine together.
Men can be insenstitive - thats what they do! especially when there is sport on!! He probably feels bad now. it'll be fine! dont worry!

im now married and feel exactly the same. I think your h2b could be my husbands twin. Sorry i couldnt give any advise but maybe it will help knowing that there are other men out there like him lol x

Firstly, he shouldnt be calling you names, that isnt on. Had you spoken about what you were going do today in the weeks leading up to it? Because if you havent mentioned it, he might have thought you didnt care?

Totally agree with Lisa281210. Use the rugby time to do some internet wedding shopping! I ordered all my components for table centrepieces whilst he was otherwise preoccupied

My H2B is the same. He is the least romantic man ever, but he did get me some dead roses (he kept them under his desk for quite a few days with no water) and some choccies (even though he knows I'm trying to cut down). I'm not too annoyed cus I know he has tried! Although I did have a good moan when I asked him to spend time with me, and he said he already had... 5 mins before he went back into his office!
H2B also has no in put in the wedding. I've done everything... venue/ registrar/ flowers/ rings even the suits! He did book a honeymoon after I threatened to spend £17,500 on it!!!
Try and inspire him into getting involved in the wedding... I've done this by naming the tables after types of cheese, as H2B is a huge cheese lover!
And as for him calling you names, try and sit him down and say that isn't acceptable behaviour and maybe your H2B could try and be a bit more grateful and show his appreciation for you planning the wedding without him

Hope this helps.
x

I think it's fair to say alot of h2b's don't get quite so wedding infatuated as us ladies - although mine was pretty good once I gave him some tasks to do! lol. He wasn't really into discussing colours, themes, serviettes etc though - so I just got on with it. Try to play to his strengths and give him easy tasks to do to start with - the decisions will probably lie with you but then he can help fetching and carrying and organising his BM etc.

I was a bit disappointed this morning as hubby hadn't done anything for valentines day, which would have been so unlike him before we got married! He must have felt bad as he came back from the shop later on with 4 bunches of flowers and some chocs - he's not in the doghouse now, hopefully he's learnt his lesson! lol.

Don't despair or give up on him, but just chat to him when the dust has settled, calling you nasty names is not on AT ALL, and neither is him being unsupportive or complacent in the relationship - better he hears it now rather than you dwelling on it for days or weeks and feeling anxious xxxx

I woke up at 7 thismorning with the kids, h2b finally rolled out of bed at just gone 9, came in the kicthen, had a ciggy and a cuppa tea and then turned round and said 'oh i better write your card out' haha, I dont expect anything less from him, I know he means well and i would love to be swept off of my feet but we aint got the money for anything and having 2 kids dont exactly get the romance flowing in this house!!

The name calling isnt on and i know we sometimes say things that we dont mean when we are angry but its still not on, Just talk to him and tell him that it hurt you!!

xxxxx

Our wedding is in 34 days. I didn't get anything today and when I gave him his card he said he didn't want to open it as he felt guilty. We need to choose the readings for the ceremony but he huffed and puffed and said it was boring and he didn't want to do it. I sat and read 2 books on my own and then marked all potential readings, he didn't like any of them.
You are not alone, men are plonkers sometimes

I think most guys are the same! My hubby to be is having hardly any input in the wedding. Apart from when I'm dragging him to places. Ha ha. I think us girls have just got to accept that they're not interested in what colour scheme we are having or what the cake tastes like. They just want to turn up on the day and enjoy it. If you're struggling doing it on your own, why not draft in some help? Bridesmaids, yours/his mum? Mine have been great when I've asked for help. I just hope H2B appreciates all the work and effort on the day. I'm sure they will.
Keep your chin up and maybe have a little chat with him and tell him you're feeling a bit down about yesterday.

xxx

there's no excuse! My other half and i haven't bothered with valentines but thats because we are romantic and loving anyway. Have a think about is this the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? I know it's only valentines but if this is what he is like all the time you will have a lifetime of this

Thanks ladies for your support and messages, am still feeling a bit rubbish. Tried talking to H2B last night and it all just escalated and some pretty harsh things were said in the heat of the moment. He’s been pretty grovelling today, but is away with work for the week so will see if he is any better come Sunday...I just feel quite lonely as my closest friends all live miles away xxx

Is it just me that thinks valentine's day is a bit of a con?!! My h2b and I are both very thoughtful with each other but don't even bother to say happy valentine's day as think it's pretty pointless to make yourself be romantic on a specific day!!

As for wedding input my h2b only likes to tell me what he doesn't like rather than offer any helpful suggestions! grrr! that's men for you I suppose!