Changing my surname

I got married for the first time when I was 23 and my surname changed from a difficult to pronounce Italian surname to a very easy English surname. I loved my new surname and for years now it has been who I am.

I'm getting married next year and have suddenly realised that not only will I now have another unpronounceable surname when I get remarried, but I feel I will lose who I have been for years, even though my current surname only became mine through marriage.

Can you keep a surname that wasn't yours to begin with once you remarry?

I suppose that I will grow into my new surname and it is a surname I will be very proud to have, but I also feel like a little part of me will be no more.

Any thoughts?

You could have your current surname as a middle name? I think that is what i will be doing as i love my surname and don't want to lose it completely x

My surname now isnt my birthsurname and I somewhat feel attached to it!

I changed it because mine was hard to pronounce and "mooi devine" Just sounded really good! haha

Now im marrying a Ginsburg and everyones saying stick with devine but it doesnt mean anything to me - it was a made up name but I still feel ever so attached! Funny isnt it?

I dont think it matters these days to be fair!

Im keeping mie for work but will chabge it with banks. Not passport, I like my picture, haha!

I thought I was the only person who felt this way! Although mine is my birth surname, I feel exactly the same. There's nothing wrong with, what will be my new surname, but I get so upset when I think of loosing my parents name after being attached to it all these years. I don't want to upset my partner, so I came up with the solution of keeping my signature but going by my married name where everything else is concerned.

This is very close to my heart. I will be 45 when I get married next year for the first time so I've always had the same name as my parents. I didn't think I was that attached to it until I realised I will be changing it! My birth name is quite unusual but my married name will be Lewis. It will be nice not having to spell my new name everytime I am asked my full name but I will miss not having my Dad's name!

Carrie497 I feel exactly the same. Although my name isn't unpronounceable and is only 4 letters long, I have always said my surname and then spelt it out, its a habit I've formed over 40 years, as my mother always has too. I shall miss it terribly x

I have a really unusual (long) surname and H2B has a short but equally unusual surname. I've thought of keeping my name as a middle name (h2b has offered to take my name as a middle name, bless him) or hyphen our names together, or just keeping my name! Like you guys I'm attached to my quirky name! Tricky isn't it.

I have a friend who kept her maiden name when she got married & the 2 kids have different surnames, 1 has the mums name, & 1 the dads - I'm not that radical, re kids, but it does show you don't have to give your name up.

Agreed, these days no one raises an eye brow - you can use whatever name you choose.

I am third time married - older than most ladies on here - my solution, my children all carry their Fathers name, I have found it simpler to keep my Maiden name and have used this for many years now, however for business I have hyphenated my maiden name with my married name and this gives me a separate professional identity.

On a purely practical level, it suited me to keep bank accounts, mortgage deeds, passport, driving licence, insurances and so on and so on in my maiden name!

Thought provoking . . .

I'e been married before and took my then husband's surname. I toyed with the idea of reverting to my maiden name after we divorced but my daughter didn't want me to have a different surname to hers - and still doesn't. So, I've decided to keep with my current name for now, especially as I've built up a decent reputation at work in my current name and with redundancies looming I figure I need all the reputation I can get - don't want someone looking at my internal application and saying 'never heard of her - bin it!!' I'll probably change my name once daughter is all grown up but until then it's a relief not to have to deal with all the name changing paperwork and when I've told people no one has thought it odd at all. As Dancingir1 says, it's fairly usual these days.

One of my friends had a double barrelled surname, when she got married she kept the first half and added her husbands surname, then her husband changed his name by deed poll to include the first bit of her surname so they now have the same double barrelled surname.