23 things you know if you’re a serial wedding guest

Go to at least three weddings every year? You’ll totally relate to these, especially number 7.

1. Organised is your middle name. While other guest will be texting the bride the week before to figure out travel (amateurs), you’ll have devised the quickest way to get to the venue and booked train tickets at least 6 months in advance.

2. You plan your outfits out in advance. You know that closet scene from Clueless? That’s pretty much you pre-wedding season. You know which outfit you’ll wear to which wedding.

3. You’re never tagged in the same outfit twice. Whether it’s switching up accessorise or customising that dress, you’re a pro at outfit re-invention.

4. People come to you for wedding guest fashion advice. And also to borrow your clutch bags and shoes.

5. You always pack a spare pair of flats or two, because you know those beautiful heels will become instruments of torture once you hit the dance floor.

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6. You’re a money saving pro. You have to be when your pay cheque is being spent exclusively on weddings and hen dos. You always know how to find a good bargain.

7. You know never to go off gift-list. You’ve heard enough married friends complain about that picture frame they don’t need when they could’ve used the cash for their honeymoon.

8. You know not to book anything between June and September, as all those weekends will be taken for weddings.

9. Likewise, you always book your summer holiday for late September, but you don’t mind, it’s cheaper and you still get sunshine, what’s not to like?

10. Your summer holiday is often wedding-focused. You’ve so many friends who’ve had destination weddings, your holiday has been tagged on the big day. But there’s nothing wrong with a week in Italy or the Caribbean.

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11. You bulk-buy wedding cards. That way you’re never caught out sans card at the last minute.

12. You volunteer to help the bride and groom with other guests. You’re such a pro, you might as well have your very own visitor information desk at the venue.

13. You never leave it too late to RSVP. In fact, you’ve barely stuck the invite on the fridge that you’ve already sent the reply.

14. You know the words to the hymns off by heart. Because church weddings…

15. You know not to ask for a plus one if it’s not mentioned. Chances are if they’ve just written your name down, it’s just you, and you know better than to argue with the bride!

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16. You are very good at remembering other guests’ names. Going to so many weddings means your memory is second to none.

17. You are the best at small talk. You have SO much more to say than comments about the weather, and the other guests love you for it.

18. You know to congratulate the bride and groom’s parents. Extra brownie points for you.

19. You dance with the father of the bride at least once. Double brownie points.

20. You’re the life and soul of the party. You left your nerves (and perhaps even your pride) at wedding number 5, now you know how to get the party going.

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21. You know your limits. See point above, having had the mother of all hangovers after the first few weddings, you know exactly how many drinks to have before it all goes belly up.

22. You know not to be polite when it comes to food. The cake goes WAY too quickly with drunk guests, so you know to jump the queue and get a slice before it’s all gone.

23. You feel slightly lost when you’ve only got one invitation for the following year. What on earth are you going to do all summer?!

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