His dad regularly calls up and rants about how awful our choices relating to the wedding are.
First it was that "normal people don't get married in a castle" then it was "everyone snubbed us at the engagement party" (when they sat in the corner and refused to talk to anyone). Then we moved onto "you can't serve Indian food, people don't like Indian food" (which they got around by offering to pay for the catering if we went for "normal" food).
The latest one was mid-week and was on how it was unacceptable that we were planning to double-barrel our names. Apparently, he feels that double-barrelled names are for illegitimate children (although he appears to have said that in harsher words) and that it isn't G's name. He also said that G's mother was very unhappy and wouldn't be sending out invitations if that name was on it (which it never would have been because it was going out under our single names).
Anyway, we took the thing about his mum with a bucketful of salt as usually when he says that it's total bull and just a shield for his own opinion. We ignored him and agreed we'd go on as before.
That was until G spoke to his mum today who ended up in tears because she was so upset (which I can't understand when G's forename is her maiden surname). Now G's seriously considering keeping his name.
I actively do not want to take is name. His name sounds AWFUL with my forename and I do not want to be known as Mrs "his name" which is what will happen if he keeps his name and particularly if the children take his name.
I've said that if I keep my name then the children will take my name, but I know that we'll get the same sort of arsieness from them if we do that.
I really loved the idea of us taking a shared name that wasn't contrary to my feminist leanings and I'm really hurt that his parents are pushing him out of it, when I thought that double-barrelling was a fair alternative to him taking my name (which actually sounds fine, unlike my name with his surname).
I'm trying to leave it up to him to make his own choice but whatever happens someone will resent him and I hate that it will probably be me and I really don't know if I can deal with that long-term
I just really needed to rant about it and sadly share my misery.