Just knew it! (sister in law is due 2 days after the wedding)

bride2b111 Wedding addict

17/01/2012 at 06:50

Our suspicions have been confirmed after she rung last night to tell us. She'd known when we'd visited her at her new house in Swindon but was worried about telling us until her other half threatened putting it on fb if she didn't tell us.

My other half only has his sister left after losing both parents, and due to the distance she may/may not be coming. She really wants to and hoping baby is early like the last one so she can, but i don't think that will happen somehow.

Am asking for advice to cope with my disappointed h2b that his only family members coming is looking to be his auntie and uncle, with the other aunties being poorly and in eastbourne (we're in margate). I just don't know what to say to him, other than "there's isn't anything anyone can do" and "she'd be there if she can" etc..

He's gone to work feeling really disappointed and upset - He saying stuff like "what's the point in a big wedding" etc. I initially wanted to go away to get married in Italy with just my parents and his sister's family, but he wanted to share the day with his friends and family so we went with what he wanted. Now he's asking if we can change it - no we cant with all the deposits etc we've now paid!

Any other suggestions?

BiffsWife

17/01/2012 at 07:24

Is it really not possible to change it? If you just change dates you may not lose your deposits, most suppliers just transfer them to your new date - i did it and didnt lose a penny.

I know its not ideal, but is it not worth looking into to make H2B happy? It sounds like its important for his sister to be there.

Daughter, sister, mummy, wife, friend.

bride2b111 Wedding addict

17/01/2012 at 08:32

He wanted to change it to the abroad affair i meant! I suggested changing it in this country. I've just looked into changing the date to June (as that's the only other time off this year) and she's saying not to do anything rash until she definately knows when the baby is due. She's hoping it's a couple weeks either side so we don't move anything. Scan is in 2 weeks...watch this space..

BiffsWife

17/01/2012 at 09:27

Ahh right, sorry i misunderstood. Can see why you dont want to change it and go abroad! Ill keep my fingers crossed that her dating scan gives you a bit of breathing space either side x

Daughter, sister, mummy, wife, friend.

bride2b111 Wedding addict

17/01/2012 at 09:56

thank you x

cebpickle1 Bridezilla

17/01/2012 at 10:04

Hi
TBH I would move it within this country if you can. I am 37 weeks pregnant and haven't been able to do anything or travel anywhere for the last 3 weeks due to pregnancy related high blood pressure, I am sure many suppliers if you explained about her being hubby's main relative and her being pregnant would allow you to move the date

mrshughes2013 Bridezilla

17/01/2012 at 12:02

Quoted:

Hi
TBH I would move it within this country if you can. I am 37 weeks pregnant and haven't been able to do anything or travel anywhere for the last 3 weeks due to pregnancy related high blood pressure, I am sure many suppliers if you explained about her being hubby's main relative and her being pregnant would allow you to move the date

exactly what i was going to write - could you move it forward a couple of days so that there is a bigger gap from the due date?

bride2b111 Wedding addict

17/01/2012 at 12:08

I've rung around and it can be changed to either 15th/22nd of June which is the only other time off I have due to being at uni training to be a nurse.

She is the only one in Swindon, she moved there having met the father of the bub online a year and a half ago (that's where he lives). Absolutely everyone else is in Margate/Dover. So i don't think i could move it across closer to her without then paying for hotel accommodation which we cannot afford

cebpickle1 Bridezilla

17/01/2012 at 15:17

I wouldn't move the location or any of the other details just the date

bride2b111 Wedding addict

17/01/2012 at 20:17

The honeymoon to Thailand is booked for the 12th so can't move it forward :/

BeckyS

18/01/2012 at 04:18

I would leave it how it is. Being honest (obviously it's different when it is your own situation as I don't know all the history) but it is a bit unfair to expect someone to wait to try because of the wedding.

I appreciate it would have been a nice gesture but it is too late now. I would just hope she can be there otherwise I would just get on with it. When the day comes it will all work out okay.

barbie_86

18/01/2012 at 06:57

I would leave it. It's not her fault she's pregnant, and I don't thbink it's reasonable to expect someone to wait to start TTC just for a wedding, but at the same time, I wouldn't change the date.

It sounds like your H2B has mixed feelings about her being there anyway; my guess is that the main reason he wants her there is kind of to represent his side of the family, rather than because he's actually really close to her. I would probably give him the options, and let him make the final decision. Do also be aware that if you've already told other guests the date, they might have booked time off or made arrangements, and be p*ssed about you changing it at such short notice.

Champagne_Please Bridezilla

18/01/2012 at 07:18

I wouldn't move your wedding, she knows what your plans are and she is welcome to come if she wants. I wouldn't even consider moving the wedding to be honest - she shouldn't have to hold off conceiving for your wedding, and vice versa. Go ahead with your plans!

bride2b111 Wedding addict

18/01/2012 at 07:41

Thanks everyone. You're helping me get an overview of this whole thing. It's now a waiting game for the next two weeks to see how close she might be.

We've been very happy to hear we are having a new niece or nephew, just hope we get to meet them on the day of the wedding! haha

Maylan

18/01/2012 at 07:41

Hun, my sis was 9 months pregnant for the wedding. Unfortunately, there was no way to change it by the time we realised, so she couldn't come

(she couldn't fly, nor drive 7 hours over mountains). It's hard on both sides.

If you have the chance to move it, or set up a video link for the ceremony, do so

Civil Wedding: June 13th, 2011 Religious Wedding: August 13th, 2011

MrsMet2012 Wedding addict

18/01/2012 at 09:07

Edited: 21/11/2012 at 13:07

_twentythirteen New bride 2 be

29/01/2012 at 15:28

I wouldn't expect anyone to postpone their life just so they can come to my wedding. Nor would I expect someone to change the date of their wedding if my due date was so close to it. At the end of the day, your day will be special no matter what. It may be disappointing if she can't be there - but that's life unfortunatley

. I hope my opinion hasn't sounded too harsh!

bride2b111 Wedding addict

29/01/2012 at 16:01

Hi ladies, got it all in gear (rung EVERY supplier) to possibly make it 22nd June and got a message saying " I've just realised that (our nephew)'s sats are beginning 15th June and they aren't allowed to book time off in June so just warning you now"

So... yeah it's staying 10th August.

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