Emotional support

Problem maid of honour

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New bride

I love my maid of honour she is a lovely friend and always stood by me, however at the moment she is having problems at home and seems to be taking things out on me and the wedding! I have paid for all the bridesmaids shoes, dresses and head dresses as I didn't want them to incurr any expense just for my wedding. She hates the dress even tho she agreed to the design before it was handmade she was so rude about it she made me and the dress maker cry. She will not go to the final bridesmaid dress fitting with the other bridesmaids and is being incredibly awkward. Yesterday she said she may not come the hen night as she fancied a chilled out weekend and she refuses to help do anything to help and keeps making sarcastic remarks. I would like to point out I dont expect them to help but the other bridesmaids turned up with champagne and pizza to help me make flowers but when they asked her she said no as Britain's got talent was on. She isn't normally like this but since I have been engaged she acts like she hates me!

 

Bridezilla

She won't go to the fitting? That's horrible! Ditch her

New bride

She will go but doesn't see why we all need to go together and wants to go on her own of just with me.

Wedding addict

That sounds terrible. It's true what they say. Sometimes true colours are revealed during wedding planning. Hope she sorts herself out and gets back on board!

New bride

Maybe she's feeling a bit jealous of the other bridesmaids? Maybe she just wants some time for just the 2 of you, especially if she is having a rough time at home?

It is horrible how everyone else seems to take weddings to make things all about themselves and get offended when the bride and/or groom try and make it about them (how rude, what right do the bride and groom have!?) but maybe it is just making her feel a bit sorry for herself all around?

I hope you manage to sort things out but it does sound like your other bridesmaids are doing a good job, have some more champagne and pizza to cheer you up

New bride

I'm completely sympathetic. I'm having some bridesmaid issues too, so I think I can kind of understand what you are feeling (I just posted my wedding woes too!). Based on my experience, I think it's fair to say that you have a lot on your plate right now. There are a million reasons that people act the way they do, but based on what you have said, you haven't done anything wrong and you have only tried to help your friend out where you can. Sometimes it just doesn't matter how hard you try because some people are still going to treat you poorly and make you wonder if you're a good friend.

Try to focus on what's good in your life. You're getting married! You can't force someone to tell you what's wrong, and you are only going to stress yourself out more by trying to figure it out. It sounds like this girl needs to work things out on her own. Maybe give her some space, try not to take things personally, and refocus on the things that are going right. Champagne and pizza sounds divine, and your friends really seem to be there for you. Those are the things that are important, after all.

New bride

Thanks ladies xxxx

Bridezilla

My guess is that her home situation which you eluded to is just bringing down her attitude overall. Maybe setting up a separate fitting for just you & her to attend isn't a bad idea -it would give you a chance to talk to her alone.  I would stress that you empathize with her situation, but at the same time she needs to remember YOUR situation. This is supposed to be the happiest time of your life & you don't need someone making it difficult or bringing you down. 

If her life is that complicated or miserable, she may just want to bow out of BM duty...

New bride

I'm almost relieved someone else is having problems with their bridesmaids. We have 4 bridesmaids and are getting married in 3 weeks. Only one of them has had the final fitting for their dresses and two have got appt booked the week before so they best fit but I'm struggling to get one to even ring up and book an appointment. I know in the grand scheme of things it's not that important but the dress lady is getting booked up quickly so she's going to struggle to get a time slot. I've tried to help with gentlet reminders and offering to book her an appt when I go in but she just ignores it. I don't know what else to do without having a major bridezilla moment!

none of them have even offered to help with any of the plans and it's costing me a fortune as I've paid for their dresses, shoes, makeup, hair etc and I'm so upset it's like none of them care. 

Its really getting me down so I'm glad I'm not the only one having problems

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