Honeymoons

Wedding gifts and honeymoon

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New bride

Hi there!

we are preparing our wedding list and I would like to consider the option to include inside the list the honeymoon. But I don't know how to do it because we are organizing our trip alone without the support of a travel agent.

Ask just for the money and not for the services, (like for example accommodation for 3 nights in Rome) it seems to me a little bit rude. What do you think? How I can manage?

Thank you in a dance for your tips and suggestions.

 

Bridezilla

We've asked for spending money on our invites and I think it's generally accepted these days that a lot Of couple ask for money towards their honeymoon :) you could find a nice poem online :)

Bridezilla

There's a lot of services out there- honeyfund, buyourhoneymoon etc that let people log in and buy you parts of the honeymoon online. But to be honest most people know its just cash that all goes into the same pot, and most of these sites charge fees. One lady I know actually got a bit offended when she found out the item she'd paid for, the couple never actually did it so her money just went to something else. So we decided not to go that route and ask for cash. Some people use the poems but I find them a bit twee. We just said if you would like to bring a gift we'd love a contribution towards the honeymoon of our dreams.

~*My planning thread*~

http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/planning-thread--summer-in-the-cotswolds-2017/418589.html

New bride

Nozomi wrote (see post):

We've asked for spending money on our invites and I think it's generally accepted these days that a lot Of couple ask for money towards their honeymoon :) you could find a nice poem online :)

Thanks for your comment, yes probably people accepted how the things go these days.

But you know I would like to find something nice and gentle.

Bridezilla

We are using theweddingshop.com - they don't take a fee and you get the money after the wedding in one lump sum... just depends if you are going on honeymoon straight after the wedding and have the funds to pay it outright before receiving the contributions. We are planning to go away about 3-4 months after the wedding so its fine for us :) x

 

New bride

Sammykate wrote (see post):

There's a lot of services out there- honeyfund, buyourhoneymoon etc that let people log in and buy you parts of the honeymoon online. But to be honest most people know its just cash that all goes into the same pot, and most of these sites charge fees. One lady I know actually got a bit offended when she found out the item she'd paid for, the couple never actually did it so her money just went to something else. So we decided not to go that route and ask for cash. Some people use the poems but I find them a bit twee. We just said if you would like to bring a gift we'd love a contribution towards the honeymoon of our dreams.

Yes probably it's better to ask. I think that I don't like this kind of online stuff. I was talking to one of my best friend and she would like to gift a photoshoot during the honeymoon. She talks about a vacation photographer that can help you with the hotshot section...It sounds great. I mean it's nice to have good and professional photos of the honeymoon. 

Wedding addict

Speaking up for the minority opinion - I find asking guests for cash rude. Everyone knows money is a nice gift, they don't need to be told. I would never have a party/ event and ask guests for money. Just because people do something doesn't mean it is automatically polite. Also as a guest we don't really know where the money is going to. I'd hate to contribute to a honeyfund and then find out it went to your credit card bill. That's why I hate contributing to a lump sum for the couple. For all I know they are using the money to pay bills and its not my responsibility to do that. I have my own bills to pay!! lol

 

Also the money poems are awful. It looks like you know asking for money is rude but trying to be less rude by using a childish poem. If you are going to ask at least own your actions and treat the guests like adults. Something like 'we would greatly appreciate ......' 

New bride

Personally I think most people give money as gifts nowadays whether or not it has been stated. If you feel the need to say something just say you would like contributions to your honeymoon if people want to give something. 

My cousin did a poem on the invite, which I'm not a huge fan of and they would have got money whether the poem was there or not. But they sent out thankyou cards personally written and what the money went towards-for example they painted their kitchen and bought new furniture etc. which I likEd knowing it had helped them improve their house and what they had done. 

Wedding addict

Missljw wrote (see post):

Personally I think most people give money as gifts nowadays whether or not it has been stated. If you feel the need to say something just say you would like contributions to your honeymoon if people want to give something. 

My cousin did a poem on the invite, which I'm not a huge fan of and they would have got money whether the poem was there or not. But they sent out thankyou cards personally written and what the money went towards-for example they painted their kitchen and bought new furniture etc. which I likEd knowing it had helped them improve their house and what they had done. 

I like your approach. Its better to mention honeymoon if asked instead of putting it on invites, in the way you described.

Bridezilla

We did ours tongue in cheek, which matched our wedding invitations (they said 'did you know we're getting married? well we are, and we'd like you to be there too - we will be!' plus they have llamas on and cartoon versions of us and our cat). I think we put something like we accidentally spent all of our money on the wedding and we have everything we need except for more kittens so it would be much appreciated if you could help us on our way to having a brilliant honeymoon or more kittens. 

I personally didn't like any of the poems I found online so we went for a very personal approach and kept it in tone with the invites. 

Bridezilla

While I agree that most people know cash is appreciated, I also think it's a good idea to state what gifts you would like on the invite- the vast majority of people would like to bring a gift to a wedding, and most need/want guidance. If I recieved an invite with no indication at all of wether they had a gift list, or wanted cash, or whatever, then I would be ringing them to ask what they wanted. So you could end up getting 50 phonecalls asking what you want. Or 50 photo frames or toasters from people who had to buy blind.

I do agree about the poems- I just don't like them! 'Pots and pans we have a lot, but we'd like to go on holiday somewhere hot...' cringe. Just no. You're talking to adults, so just be upfront and honest. We've put something along the lines of:

'What would we like for our wedding? You to be there, having a great time! But if you'd like to bring a gift what we'd love is some spending money towards the honeymoon of our dreams'

Also, I 100% know that any money we get will go on the honeymoon- I wouldn't dream of using it to pay for bills or anything.

Nozomi I love your wording about honeymoons or kittens!

~*My planning thread*~

http://www.youandyourwedding.co.uk/forum/your-planning-threads/planning-thread--summer-in-the-cotswolds-2017/418589.html

Bridezilla

This is such a controversial subject, and people are so divided over it! I have to say, I generally tend to give money as a gift at a wedding - most couples are already living together at this point, so if I really wanted to buy something, I would probably give a bottle of bubbly alongside money. I strongly dislike poems (you'd be getting less money for a poem lol), but I'm not a big fan of gifts requests in general.

I think I would rather see requests for honeymoon donations asked for outright, rather than trying to find a way of including them in a gift list. It makes things easier for guests!

Missljw I think it's a it's a really nice touch (if you do receive money) to write out to people and let them know exactly what it went on! I am going to steal this idea to use after our wedding  

 

Bridezilla

Thanks Sammykate, hopefully we don't end up with 50 kittens haha! 

Wedding addict

Its definitely a controversial wedding topic!

I'm also not a fan of the money poem, it doesn't offend me to receive one but I just couldn't send one myself. I always give money as a guest going to a wedding, can't remember the last time I bought from a wedding list.

Were getting married next July, we have our own house and 2 kids. We can't afford a honeymoon and there is still work that's needed on our house. I don't know if to not say anything at all about gifts or if to think of one thing and say if you are thinking of a wedding gift then we'd would be very grateful of a contribution to......? Really we just want to get everyone together for a big fun party which is what we're planning - 200 guests! 

I have just won an all expenses luxury trip to Russia through work but I have to pay £2.5K to take my fiancé so poss we might use that as our honeymoon and any gift money received would go towards it. I also love the idea of writing out to say what you have used the money to buy/pay for.

 

 

New bride

H2B and I are using buyourhoneymoon.com as we will have lived together by the time of the wedding for nearly 4 years so we definitely don't need glasses, towels or cutlery! 

Personally I really don't want 100 people asking what they can get us as a gift- honestly we don't care if people get one, however it is obvious that that's what they will want to do.

Buyourhoneymoon allows us to get the funds (for a small fee) to put towards a dream honeymoon and it makes guests feel like they are actually buying us something and have put some thought into it, rather than just giving us cash (however you can get access to the funds as soon as they've paid for it online, meaning you can spend it as you need on the honeymoon expenses!)

My cousin used this service at her wedding last year and I think it's a great idea and relieves any "stigma" people have about asking for or giving hard cash.


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