Receptions

Bride and Bridesmaid Dance

Reply

21 to 27 of 27 posts

Bridezilla

I hate to say it, but you do seem to be missing the point a little, sorry.

 

For those girls who have already told you they are uncomfortable with the idea and/or simply don't want to do it, it isn't going to make that much difference whether its a minute or an hour!

 

I honestly think you need to think long and hard about what your priority is here, and whether its worth upsetting friends over.  At the end of the day, this is YOUR wedding, not theirs, and the day is traditionally about the Bride and Groom, not the Bride and her embarrassed/unhappy/uncomfortable mates.....

New bride

KittyFiennes wrote (see post):

I think that if you've had trouble getting everyone on board to do the simpler, more traditional things (which it sounds like you have), that getting five ladies to do something like this will be no less than an act of God -especially if they aren't delighted with the idea to begin with. If they aren't overly enthused and/or can't find the time to go pick out shoes with you all together (just for example), what makes you think they'll have the time and interest to do something far more time consuming and potentially embarrassing as learning and performing a choreographed dance?

I get that you say this is a dream of yours, but sincerely: this sounds like something out of a romcom movie. Things like this just generally don't happen in real life.  IRL, there are BMs that live too far away to join you for practice sessions, BM with a twisted ankle or ingrown nail or some other health issue, pregnant BMs, shy BMs, workaholic BMs, and on and on.  I hope that you can pull this off, but I can see a million real reasons why this won't work.

I also second/third/fourth the motion that I would step down as a BM before participating. Count me in as one of the aforementioned workaholic and shy BM-types.

 

Hi thanks for your advice but I never gave any details about my other bridesmaid related activities and how things have been going so I am unsure why you assumed I had 'trouble' getting them to take part in things, which is actually completely the opposite and I am very close to my bridesmaids who are really good friends. As I said above I am not forcing anyone to do anything, the girls who were not over the moon were also not refusing and were happy to try for my sake, which I appreciate. If they refused point blank like the others then I would understand but they haven't, they just have their reservations so I am going to try and make the routine up first but like I said most of my bridesmaids/people taking part are happy to do it. 

Its not about it being from the movies, who says this cannot happen in real life? I like to be positive and think anything is possible if you put your mind to do it. Obviously if we all try and learn this dance and fall on our feet then I would never put my closest friends through that but I want to just try first as I have previously said several times. I do not mind that you are all not giving me answers I wanted, I never came here to hear what you think I want to hear, I just wanted to hear other brides experiences of those who did similar things and how they went around it. Clearly that is not the case in this forum and I appreciate your kindness when you give the advice you give. 

 

 

 

New bride

CFW wrote (see post):

Good luck with it...But please bear in mind, although it is your dream, it is not worth losing your friends over. :) 

I have no idea why you would think I would lose my friends over this. Its not that bad, as I have said the bridesmaid who refused, thats fine she can sit it out, the others are happy to try, I was only looking for advice on how to make the situation better, not scrap it altogether. True friends wouldn't stop being your friend because you wanted a 3 minute dance and as I have said no one is forced to do anything they really feel they cannot stand up and do. After they all see my routine video, if they say no then fine but I think I am in my right to try. Thanks again. 

New bride

Ali S 71 wrote (see post):

I hate to say it, but you do seem to be missing the point a little, sorry.

 

For those girls who have already told you they are uncomfortable with the idea and/or simply don't want to do it, it isn't going to make that much difference whether its a minute or an hour!

 

I honestly think you need to think long and hard about what your priority is here, and whether its worth upsetting friends over.  At the end of the day, this is YOUR wedding, not theirs, and the day is traditionally about the Bride and Groom, not the Bride and her embarrassed/unhappy/uncomfortable mates.....

 

Thank you for your feedback, I actually want to do this as a surprise for my groom, partly why its important to me. 

Bridezilla

I think giving it a go is totally fine, and you doing a little video for your bridesmaids first is an excellent way of gauging whether they're into the idea or not and you can be completely clear on what is expected. That way those that are wobbly about the idea can make up their minds whether they want to do the dance or not.

I think everyone is just trying to make you aware that you definitely shouldn't try and force anyone into something they don't want to do, especially as you obviously do want this to happen very much. You're lucky that you have a lot of bridesmaids, and half are already on board, so you should be able to pull this off even if some of your maids would prefer not to participate.

New bride

weatherwaxe wrote (see post):

I think giving it a go is totally fine, and you doing a little video for your bridesmaids first is an excellent way of gauging whether they're into the idea or not and you can be completely clear on what is expected. That way those that are wobbly about the idea can make up their minds whether they want to do the dance or not.

I think everyone is just trying to make you aware that you definitely shouldn't try and force anyone into something they don't want to do, especially as you obviously do want this to happen very much. You're lucky that you have a lot of bridesmaids, and half are already on board, so you should be able to pull this off even if some of your maids would prefer not to participate.

 

Thank yo so much for your kind feedback I really appreciate that. I never meant to come across as if I was forcing anyone, I just would have loved more encouragement thats all but you can't control things in life. I am sure it will go down a treat at the wedding if I am able to pull it off. Thanks again. 

 

Wedding addict

Oh god this sounds like my idea of hell! (Both the taking part as a bridesmaid or the watching as a guest)

I always thought all bridesmaids needed to do was turn up on time, wear a pretty dress, smile for photos and support the bride on the day?! I certainly won't be asking anything more of my bridesmaids, we are all adults with our own busy lives! 

Good luck if you do decide to go ahead with it though!

Log in or Sign up to add your reply