Ours is this June! I can't believe how quickly it has come round as we started booking process over 12months ago. Yes I have my dress, the bridesmaids are sorted and got flower girl outfit. I need to get some adjustments done on my dress but trying to lose bit more weight first. Meanwhile hubby to be doesn't seem to be in any rush to sort his outfit at all lol. Aw I hope the dreams stop soon. I think most brides get them at some point x
...... and that is the risk of having a destination wedding. Weddings are expensive for people to attend anyway. Shift it abroad and the cost spirals even more. Just have to suck it up really.
I hate it when people say things like thats what you get. Its not so much the expense its more people needing to be courteous. You have put so much research time effort money for ppl who just need to forecast their own expenses and what they can or can't manage and let you know.
It's likely they had good intention and unfortunately you can't control others and you need to back your self up from now on. If it were me I would
A. Arrange a awesome engagement party or after party for your friends and family who can't make it. Arrange a nice day thats cost effective think canepes, BYO plates etc. My aunty has a lovely house and was thinking of doing something low key there. This way your fiancé will feel the support and celebration from the ppl who obviously matter to him but can't be there.
B. Ask the venue if there is anyway to get your money back through wine, or a reception dinner the night before, accommodation (if its a hotel). Or just enjoy the smaller 35 number but arrange top of the line stuff- speciality wines, exorbitant cake just go crazy and have fun- how often do you get to not worry about a budget when choosing food and wine etc
C. Most people are really disorganised. Esp when its not there own wedding. Some people have good intention but there is so much happening in their life it falls to the back of their mind. I would book a couple of airbnb places with free cancellation so that when they realise i better book something you have an option for them before its booked up. I only know this because my parents are the most disorganised ppl and they don't necessarily not care its just they are so used to leaving things at the last minute.
D. Is there a way to cut your loses (depending on how much the desposit is) cut the fancy meal and choose a more basic one and use the extra money to offer to help pay for some accommodation. (there are some really cheap options on airbnb when people group together) Since you already have a smaller number the new reception could be cheaper... I don't know this may be something too radical so close to the wedding but always an option you could think about.
E. Remember its you and your fiancé and nothing else. Everything else is secondary. the most important thing is this is the day you are marrying your love! Complete all your stressing out beforehand and then when you fly out- forget all the small things, it is what it is and from then on just let lose and enjoy. So what if its not what you envisioned, nothing really is. Just own it and enjoy! Plus get a really good photographer and make your friends so jealous they didn't come (hehe)