Your planning threads

Our August wedding in a vineyard - August 2018.


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I have been thinking of starting a planning thread for a while. But I didn't want to start until I had the venue booked. :) Now the venue and official things are booked it seemed a good time to start. 

I have really enjoyed reading everyone else's threads.  :) Hopefully mine won't bore people. ๐Ÿ˜‚



How we met.

I met my OH (I'll call him D) about 4 and a half years ago. We are both massive geeks and met through mutual friends at a gaming evening, which we used to go to once a month to play all sorts of random and unusual board games. (Though there was always a game of cards against humanity playing.). We stopped going after a while because work got in the way.

We hit it off straight away but only as friends. I was dating someone at the time and he was a bit of a ladies man. Not someone I ever thought I would end up dating. Fast forward several months and my current relationship started to break down and eventually end due to the fact that he didn't understand that some people get emotional from time to time and it is uncontrollable. 

D and I had grown closer and I counted him amongst my closest friends. We have very similar silly sense of humour which helped. He was my rock through the break up, eventually one thing led to another and we ended up out on our first date. Where things spiralled and everytime the waitress ended up coming to our table she was singing the mission impossible theme tune. A hilarious story for us. :) but doesn't seem to come across well when telling others. ๐Ÿ˜

We knew two months in that we loved each other, but due to his past he was a bit wary of commitment. Everything was easy, I really am marrying my best friend. Eventually and I still don't know why, his attitude changed and next thing I know we are living together and I spend family events with his family, even when he isn't there. It's all been gradual but smooth and easy. I couldn't be happier.  


The proposal.

So as I mentioned before D was afraid of commitment when we started dating, I distinctly remember him telling me I would never meet his family and that was that. I didn't mind as I was just enjoying being with someone I could have fun with, and who wouldn't yell at me for crying. Eventually one day he turned round and said we were off to his mums birthday dinner. I didn't question it and just went along, met his entire family in one go. 

Things spiralled from that point from it not being serious to him casually discussing us having kids  (again completely out of the blue). I never pressured him with anything though I knew I wanted to be with him forever. ๐Ÿ˜Š fast forward another year (so 2 years of dating) the subject of marriage came up. I jokingly said I would propose on the leap year this year.  I should have known by now not to make silly jokes with him that he will deliberately take seriously. 

Many jokes followed and lots of half joke proposals. It happened that we were in Portugal for leap year this year. Visiting D's dad (tickets and dates arranged by him so completely accidental). I didn't expect anything to happen.  

I spent most of the 29th of Feb joking around with D and doing lots of D will you.... do x for me. 

That evening we were out to dinner with D and his dad. D starts to tell his dad all about our joking around and that today was the day I should propose. I got quite embarrassed, and was still clueless. D turns to me and asks "can we agree you aren't actually going to ask me?" I replied I would not (never had been planning it and he knew that). He then said... well can I ask? Got down on one knee and proposed there and then. I can't remember exactly what was said but I did come out with the brilliant line of "oh my god you are actually doing it".

I did cry. His dad was a little shocked to be present but as D explained as he lives in Portugal he never gets to share in the good news in person.  So he wanted to share it with his dad.

It was a lovely evening and netted us free drinks from the restaurant staff who had witness the whole thing and had clapped. I got quite embarrassed and did go quite red, but secretly loved the whole thing. โ™กโ™ก


The ring.  

As I mentioned before D's dad had brought us the tickets to Portugal to see him as an Xmas gift.  Unknown to us part of that Xmas gift included a weekend away in other parts of Portugal so we could see more than just to touristy area. 

So D had to sneak the ring box into our luggage before we flew, out again before I unpacked and then back into a second set luggage to go away for the weekend, then out again. He hid it under mattresses and everything to avoid me finding it. 

I love my ring, and I'm so happy with the choice he made. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Šโ™กโ™ก


Aww, lovely proposal and gorgeous ring X 

Planning Thread:


The Date

We discussed the date at length quite soon after getting engaged. We started off going through various months and discounting them for varying reason. For example Janunary too cold. We discounted most of the months this way and ended up with nothing concrete. We could come up for a reason to discount every month. 

We then decided to venue hunt for budgets to come up with a more solid date. So going through the venue brochures we quickly realised a weekday wedding was by far cheaper than a weekend. Also that a non summer wedding was also cheaper. So this left us with only being able to book school holidays. 3 of my bridal party are still in school, and two attend private school on Saturdays. We decided the safest times to book (due to shifting holidays and different schools timetables) was either August or April easter holiday. We initially settled on April as this was the cheaper option in the first few venues we saw. However as you might have guessed, after picking our venue the price for a wedding on a Wednesday is the same all year round... so we picked a summer wedding instead. :) 


The hunt for a venue begins....

When we first started venue hunting I went on to hitched and must have sent away for around 50+ brochures. The only things D and I knew we didn't want was a church wedding. We also knew we wanted to have wedding and reception in the same place. Finally we wanted the wedding local to where we lived (surrey) as D has two elderly relatives and one is wheelchair bound so we didn't want them to have far to travel. That wasn't a concern for my family as they would already be travelling from further distances. 

With hitched the only details you supply is name, email, date and number of guests. This is then passed on to venues who email you back with the brochures.

Considering this fact we had a couple of awful/hilarious replies. One began "dear Fiona, we are so sorry for your loss, we can only imagine what you must be going through at this time." What worries me is a) the venue hire was around 16,000 and b) what sort of event that involves a loss did they think I was planning in two years time. The second awful/hilarious response was "Dear Fiona, congratulations on your daughters engagement, you must be so happy". Needless to say we deleted these emails straight away as the initial replies didn't bode well. 

After narrowing these venues down we were left with about 10 options. 1 which I was in love with and was convinced would be our venue. We booked a date to see it and I was looking at the pictures regularly and showing everyone how beautiful it was. 


Loving your report so far and your ring is gorgeous! Can't wait to read more xx


Yay so glad you decided to start a thread! Can't wait to hear all about your venue hunt as you are in the same area as me! 

My planning thread:

Wedding addict

Yay! Another August 2018 bride! 

Loving the thread, such a sweet proposal and a gorgeous ring!

Definitely staying tuned to hear about your venue ๐Ÿ˜Š


@ruthie1979 thank you. I'm so happy with it, though after a couple of wedding fairs j have realised I need to custom make a wedding band to fit. ๐Ÿ˜

@DrD-to-be thank you! I have been reading all of yours through as well! Particularly the recent posts about suppliers.  :D

@Mrs-Farquhar-to-be yay! I can't belive it's now less than two years away. Time really does fly by. It only seems like yesterday we got engaged and people were telling us two years to wait is too long!



Looking forward to hearing about your venue search! 

Planning Thread:


Venue 1 - Cain Manor 


It was this room that I fell in love with. I love the beams, the window.  Everything about it. 

This is the reception room.






Venue 1 continued 

We turned up with no expectations, but a list of questions from looking at various magazines, and forums. The venue is in the middle of nowhere, with a long drive up to it. This was our first concern due to elderly guests and wheelchair.  And lack of accommodation it seemed close by. 

We arrived at the venue and the coordinator we met was really lovely and really chatty. She showed us around and the venue really is as gorgeous as it looks in the pictures. There were several rooms on site for family. It was so easy to picture a wedding there. We then sat down and discussed pricing etc. I had gone through their brochures and done a rough costing myself, which came to around 8000. We were quoted 12000. This venue was already at the top end of our budget, and that pushed it way over. :(

There were a few other large negatives as well which meant we wouldn't have considered the extra money.  

1) the floor in the ceremony room creaked as you walked down it. Not something I would want for my wedding day. 

2) You had to take a certain number of rooms, and all those rooms were the most expensive ones (prices around 236 for the night). 

3) There was a lot of restrictions, for example to be allowed a DJ you could only use thiers, but that was an extra £600, sweetie cart... had to be theirs £300 extra, want a carpet for the aisle that's an extra £150. The list went on and on. 

4) as we were leaving the coordinator got very pushy about trying to get us to pay the deposit and book. I didn't appreciate that attitude as we had already discussed that we were only shopping so we knew our exact budget, and stated that we were not intending to book anything for definite for several months. (This was April and we booked our venue this month, after saving the money we needed). She even went so far as to tell me to take out a credit card or make parents give us money. Very very pushy. 


We left a bit deflated and having to start again as we had both decided that this was the one. It definitly was a learning curve though. That made us more cautious in the rest of our venue searches. 




Wow gorgeous venue. How pushy was the coordinator! Very rude. 

Planning Thread:


Oh wow you went to Cain Manor - I am another Surrey bride but my wedding is in Hampshire. I ooo'd and aahh'd about Cain Manor for ages but based on their only quote calculator thing it was already over budget so we didn't tempt ourselves by going there. It really is stunning though. I just don't know how anyone ever affords it when there are other equally stunning venues for cheaper if you look hard enough!

I thought that I had already commented on your thread as I remember thinking that our rings are not too dissimilar!

Looking forward to more!


Looking forward to reading all about your venue search - shame Cain Manor didn't work out because it really is stunning but I'm sure there is somewhere even better waiting for you! I also love your ring - really unique but also a classic. He did well! x