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Our Scottish / Boho / Forest / Castle Wedding (2018)

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Bridezilla

Hi Girls (and guys).

I have really been enjoying reading all your planning threads. They are a great source of inspiration!

We are still in the really early stages of planning (as you will find out soon). But I was thinking that it would be nice to have a place to write down the process that we are going through in planning one of the most important days of our life. It will also be fun to read through after our wedding.

 

 

Bridezilla

A LITTLE BIT ABOUT US

I’m an architect by day and a Travel Blogger / Vlogger by night. My dad is English and my mum is German. I was born in Munich, grew up in Paris where I was educated in an International School, studied at the Mackintosh School of Architecture in Glasgow and am currently rediscovering my family roots in London. I am Trilingual (fluent in English, French and German) and have a basic understanding of Spanish. My parents got divorced when I was 6 and we subsequently moved in with my Scottish step-dad in Paris. I love to spend money and often make decisions based on what my heart/gut tells me. I am 27 years old, turning 28 in September.

Mr M is a marine engineer/surveyor. He was born and grew up in Stranraer, a small town in the South of Scotland. He loves history and would really rather be an archaeologist. He doesn't speak any other language but English. His parents have been together since they were teenagers. He is a self-confessed hermit / prefers to avoid people. But when he is with his friends he really relaxes. He is so funny, which I love about him. He is stereotypically Scottish and prefers to hoard his money. The upcoming year is going to be painful :P He is 30 years old -  old man ;) 

So really we couldn't be any more different, but somehow it works. I feel I can completely be myself with him. We both love to travel. It combines my interest in cultures and architecture with his interest in history.

Bridezilla

HOW WE MET

My fiancee and I actually met online on a website called Plenty of Fish. I had broken up with my ex of five years and decided it was time to meet new people. So I decided to give online dating a go. The algorithm of POF kept suggesting Mr M, so I sent him a message. 

We agreed to meet at Glasgow's Library. I was in the middle of writing my last dissertation for my architectural degree, so I did not have a lot of time on my hands. We had lunch together at the library's cantine. We got on immediately and had a lot to talk about. There was definitely a connection. At the end of our date, we exchanged phone numbers.

After that, things got a little hectic / crazy at university and I wasn't in touch with him for over 2 months. Mr M says whilst he called his mum directly after our date to tell her how well it went, he soon forgot about me when I never got back in contact. So he couldn't quite remember who I was when I finally did text him. Nonetheless, we agreed to meet up again and visited three different parks in Glasgow. We hit it off and have been together ever since.

Bridezilla

Hi dandelion ive just married my pof guy!   ive enjoyed reading this so far, whens the wedding?

How long have you been together ? So many questions tell us more!!  

 

My thread is when the moon shines over the cow shed and report is cow shed july,  ours was just over two weeks ago now.  

 

 

 

 

Bridezilla

AND THEN...

At this point, Mr M lived in Helensburgh, whilst I lived in the South of London. By working over time Mr M was able to take Fridays off and so soon he started spending Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays at my flat. This went on for a year and a half.

In 2013 the economy of Scotland was still down in the dumps and there weren't many jobs for architects in Glasgow. So I really had no choice but to move down to London. Whilst I was offered a job almost immediately, it wasn't so easy for Mr M. And so we spent a whole year apart. I lived in London and he was still back up in Scotland. At the start, Mr M would come down every second weekend by train. Soon he bit the bullet and went back to sea. This meant he could spend the two full weeks he was off work down with me in London. We always saw this as a temporary solution and he kept his eye out for job opportunities in London. After one year he finally got a job offer from an insurance company and was able to move down to London.

We have now lived together in a small flat with a garden in North East London for three years. We have a very large aquarium and my five Goldfish (Blacky, Little Lemon, Big Red, Clementine and Jaffa). On Weekends we head out into the countryside and explore the local areas that surround London. Most of our spare money and time is spent on travelling. We couldn’t live without it!

Bridezilla

Katherine66 wrote (see post):

Hi dandelion ive just married my pof guy!   ive enjoyed reading this so far, whens the wedding?

How long have you been together ? So many questions tell us more!!  

 

My thread is when the moon shines over the cow shed and report is cow shed july,  ours was just over two weeks ago now.  

 _____________________________________________________________________________________________

Hi Katherine. Thank you for popping over to my little corner. I will definitely check out your thread. And congratulations!

It is nice to meet a fellow POF couple :) It just proves that online dating does work. Mr M generally wants us to keep the way we met a secret. And we tend to tell people we met at the library. But this is why I always encourage collegeues and friends to try online dating.

In total we have been together for five and a half years. We are planing to have the wedding in Augyst / September 2018. So in one year, Yikes

 

 

Bridezilla

TALKING ABOUT OUR FUTURE

Mr M and I started talking about our future pretty early on in our relationship. Sometimes men do this but I always felt he was being sincere. We are both planners and so we would set ourselves goals to achieve. I mentioned to him within the first year of our relationship, that I would probably expect a proposal after we had been together for five years. 

My mum got married at 28 and she had me in the same year. So this always felt like a bit of a deadline. I really want to be pregnant with our first baby before 30.

After three years we started planning our future ( wedding / buying a house / having kids) more intentionally. He started asking me what type of engagement rings I like, what ring he could use to size my finger.

I still needed to pass the last part of my architectural degree. This involved studying whilst working full time. The course costs a good chunk of money but my office was willing to pay for it if I agreed to stay for another three years. Mr M and I are hoping to buy a house soon and so we will need to move away from London (we are currently thinking about moving to Yorkshire). But until I pass my degree we are stuck in the horrendously expensive capital, unable to move forward with our lives.

So a year ago we set ourselves a target of three years. In 2019, we wanted to get/be married, buy/have bought a car and start trying to have a baby. This meant we had a goal to work towards and save money for.

Bridezilla

THE PRE-PROPOSAL...

A couple of months ago Mr M started acting odd. He was nervous, antsy, easily stressed, easily annoyed. He started hiding his phone. And he became obsessed with money. So I thought there might be a chance he is planning to propose pretty soon.

But part of me was worried. This is exactly how my ex acted before we broke up. He was cheating on me at the time.

And then two weeks ago Mr M and I had a pretty big tiff (about money). Mr M is a bit on the stingy side (even his mum and sister say so). It is something I have gotten used to and simply accept about him. He is much better with money than I am and I can learn a lot from him. But that day Mr M was being incredibly unreasonable. To calm me down he told me there was something stressing him out that he couldn't tell me about. This did nothing to calm my nerves. It got me so worried I started to cry. 

Mr M stormed off into our bedroom and came back with a little blue box. Suddenly it clicked. Oh no, what had I done, I had ruined it for myself!  As Mr M got down on one knee and told me he meant to do this on our upcoming trip in Japan (in six weeks time), I panicked. I put my hand on the box, stopped him from opening it and told him I wanted him to do it the way he had originally planned.

He was devastated and cried (something he never does). He had been planning this proposal for two years. Everyone he told about the proposal was really excited and astonished at his effort. At this point, Mr M is still incredibly upset that he won't be able to surprise me (not in the way he wanted). But as I keep telling him, I don't know what the ring looks like, I do not know what day he will be proposing or how he will be doing it. Nonetheless, he doesn't want me to tell anyone. 

Since he told me about the proposal, however, Mr M has been far less stressed and nervous. I finally understood why he was so worried out about money. We had originally set a budget for the ring, but he went and bought something far more expensive. This left a serious dent in his savings. A dent Mr M isn't comfortable with but that in itself isn't that worrying.

We decided to have a mini celebration to erase the bitter taste of our tiff and took a trip to Colchester. We visited Flatford and Beth Chatto's garden. On our drive there both of us got really excited about our upcoming wedding. We discussed dates and settled on August / September 2018. With the upcoming, we aren't sure what the future holds. My grandparents are also starting to show their age and it would be nice to have them present at our wedding.

Over the excitement of the "pre-proposal", I completely forgot I was meant to visit my grandmother. Who of course was terribly upset. So Mr M ended up telling my parents and sister about his plans to propose to me. However, they do not know that I know and Mr M wants to keep it that way. Ever since Mr M told my mum and sister, they have been texting him every day, to ask questions both about the upcoming proposal and the wedding. I have a feeling they have already started making plans without me ;)

At this point, there are four weeks to go. It goes without saying I am terribly excited and cannot wait for the count-down to be over.

Bridezilla

Omg that pre proposal !!    Oh i dont know what to say its just sweet and awful ar the same time, i do things like that at yule( im pagan) and my family get so mad at me i cant let them have secrets!!   

I know what you meant about the phone thing im  divorced to and my ex got very touchy about phone and computer!   Hed been having an affair for two years before i found out.  

 

Anyway looking forward to more. 

Bridezilla

Katherine66 wrote (see post):

Omg that pre proposal !!    Oh i dont know what to say its just sweet and awful ar the same time, i do things like that at yule( im pagan) and my family get so mad at me i cant let them have secrets!!   

I know what you meant about the phone thing im  divorced to and my ex got very touchy about phone and computer!   Hed been having an affair for two years before i found out.  

Anyway looking forward to more. 

I am like you. I am the worst when it comes to secrets. I hate being surprised. Although this one time I really wanted to be.

He didn't do that bad up until that point. It is so odd how similar the signs of proposing and cheating can be.

The reason he was hiding his phone was because he had pictures of the ring on it. 

Looking forward to adding a nice paragraph about the actual proposal in 6 weeks time after our holiday to Japan.

Bridezilla

THE WEDDING BUDGET

MrM doesn't want me to start planning the wedding until we are officially engaged. I promised to do my best not too and lasted 5 days. Last weekend he even let me buy a couple of wedding magazines.

I am trying not to do too much at this point, but am starting to get anxious about certain things.

One of those is the amount of money we are going to need to spend. We had always budgeted to spend around 13 000 - 14 000£. Now this seems like a lot of money to me.But then online I read that the average budget for a wedding in the UK is 20 000£. Wow was I shocked! Thankfully I came across this forum and realised that people create beautiful weddings for as little as 3000£. This re-assured me that our budget was indeed realistic.

Of course, any money that we don't spend on the wedding will go towards buying a house. So we want to save money whether we can. I hope that my mum (who is an excellent seamstress) will agree to make my wedding dress. We also do not want to spend too much on the wedding cake. And where ever I can I would like to use my DIY skills.

However, we also want to take this wedding seriously. This will hopefully be a once in a lifetime thing. So we want the day to be special. I do not want to look back a couple of years down the line wishing we had spent more money on our wedding.

We always imagined that we would get married in a castle or a manor house. And those do not come cheap. But we are hoping to keep the wedding relatively small, with 31 adults and 4 children at the ceremony and up to 60 people at the reception. 

Most of MrM's friends and family members cannot afford to travel, so we are planning a wedding in Scotland. My family lives all over Europe and my friends all over the world. But they are used to travelling further afield. Plus I always wanted to get married in Scotland anyway.

Other than that the photographer is really important to me. I would also like to invest in a videographer. Afterall, it is the photographs and films that last a lifetime. I want them to be of good quality and something I enjoy looking at, years down the line.

 

So here is our budget as it stands at the moment:

 

Venue, Ceremony - 500

Venue (reception) -3200

 

Wedding Breakfast (including food, service, flatware, stemware, china, etc.) - 1000

Beverage during Wedding Breakfast )including corkage) -250

Evening Buffet (including food, service, flatware, stemware, china, etc.) - 790

Bartending/Beverage (including service, alcohol, glassware, etc.) -950

Cake/Dessert - 170

 

Marriage License -70

Officiant - 420

 

Photographer - 1190

Videographer - 1190

 

Flowers - 560

Other Decor - 300

Rentals (chairs, tables, linens) -140

 

Website - 20

Homemade Invitations (including RSVP cards) - 30

Homemade Place Settings / Menus -30

Homemade Order of the day -20

Postage - 60

 

Wedding Dress made by mum - 500

Bride accessories - 150

Lingerie - 50

Hair and makeup (just me) - 100

Bridesmaids (3) - 225

Wedding Bands - 400

Groom Kilt - 150

Groom Accessories - 95

Best Man - 80

 

Piper - 150

Ceilidh /DJ -550

DIY Photobooth - 150

Transportation - 450

Gifts, favors, extra fees, etc. - 100

 

Emergency fund - 140

 

Bridezilla

Just looking at your finances, seems you have thought of everything!

 

 Of course peoples priorities are different i spent £16000 with most on dress and veil £2000+,   food 1200 venue decs/ hire stuff 1600 and flowers £1600.  Cake 450. Car 450. Dj 450,  mens hire £300,  bridesmaids dresses 700 for 3.  Shoes £350 for 3 pairs.

 

  Our venue was free and we had to supply everything bar toilets the lot !  Luxury toilet block £550 for hire !!  

 

We married in church ao another £824 for all the bells service fees banns choir etc

Lingerie - pair of knickers £30.  

I think its the little stuff  that starts to add up, i made my own napkins and half my own favours but bought lots of decorations, keys mini tamborines wedding crackers ribbon favour bags  tags all sorts.   I will bet you will go over budget by about half again, this happens with a lot if projects so beware!!  

 

 

 

Bridezilla

Katherine66 wrote (see post):

Just looking at your finances, seems you have thought of everything!

 

 Of course peoples priorities are different i spent £16000 with most on dress and veil £2000+,   food 1200 venue decs/ hire stuff 1600 and flowers £1600.  Cake 450. Car 450. Dj 450,  mens hire £300,  bridesmaids dresses 700 for 3.  Shoes £350 for 3 pairs.

 

  Our venue was free and we had to supply everything bar toilets the lot !  Luxury toilet block £550 for hire !!  

 

We married in church ao another £824 for all the bells service fees banns choir etc

Lingerie - pair of knickers £30.  

I think its the little stuff  that starts to add up, i made my own napkins and half my own favours but bought lots of decorations, keys mini tamborines wedding crackers ribbon favour bags  tags all sorts.   I will bet you will go over budget by about half again, this happens with a lot if projects so beware!!  

 

Thank you, Katherine, for the really clear break down of how much you spent on your own beautiful wedding. I am aware that my budget for certain things is a bit tight. Especially flowers I think. As you said the little things add up too. And we might very well end up going over budget. I am going to try to stick as much as possible to the plan. And hopefully, if we overspend in certain areas we can cut costs in others. I just need to keep reminding myself of our goal to get a house lol

Bridezilla

VegasLou wrote (see post):

Ooh I'm really enjoying your planning thread so far. Well done for stopping him proposing, he's obviously put a lot of time and thought into it and I'm sure the proposal will be just perfect when it happens. Japan is in my list of places to visit, how exciting. 

Thank you VegasLou for popping over into my thread. So glad you are enjoying it so far. I must admit, knowing that he is going to propose but having to wait has me on tender hooks. But I am glad that I did stop him. This 

This will be our second time in Japan. Next, to history, Japanese culture is one of MrM's biggest passions. You should definitely go if you get a chance.

Bridezilla

RESEARCHING WEDDING VENUES

 

So the other thing that has me slightly worried is booking a venue. We were originally planning to be engaged for two years or so. But because of the current political unrest (my family lives in Europe) and because my grandparents aren't doing too well at the moment, we have decided to get married in a year. 

I have heard that wedding venues get booked out quickly. Especially the beautiful ones that offer packages at a reasonable price. Furthermore, MrM and I are planning to get married in one of the busiest seasons - August or September. Whilst I wouldn't mind an October, November or December wedding, MrM would prefer a summer wedding.

So although MrM doesn't want me to start planning until we get back from Japan, I have started to create a shortlist. The intention is to go visit our favourite venues (that also meet our budget) in October and November. We would then need to pick and book one ideally before 2018 rolls around.

Ideally, we are looking for a place that isn't too far from Stranraer or Glasgow. Although MrM isn't keen on Ayrshire. I was, therefore, thinking Argyll and Bute or Perthshire. We are looking for a historic place with nice gardens. MrM is keen on a castle or manor, but I like rustic barns too. 

I have fallen in love with the look of the ballrooms at Glen Tanar and Blair Castle. I particularly like the vaulted timber ceiling and the grand fireplace. But both those venues are on the expensive side and slightly out of our budget (10373£ and 8573£).

I tend to be very organised and love my excel lists. I have created one specifically for the venues, that breaks down what each venue offers and at what price.I then contacted the various venues by email to find out more about their pricing structure.

Based on their pricing structure (including food), these are the venues that are currently in the running and that I am considering having us visit:

Brig o' Doon House - 7572£

Dalhousie Castle - 3920£

Scone Palace  - 7472£

Rowallan Castle - 7736£

Fingask Castle - 7533£

Comlogan Castle  - 6572£

Plane Castle - 5990£

Knockderry House  - 6847£

Balinakill - 6658£

Cornhill House Hotel - 3981£

Culcreuch - 7540£

Pollok House -7725£

Ardoch - 7088£

Gunsgreen House - 7763£

Cameron House - 5886£

Crear Barn - 7318£

Bachilton Barn - 7011£

Mar Hall Golf and Spa - 7330£

Another place that remains a back-up is the House of an Art Lover in Glasgow (5310£). This was one of my grandad's favourite restaurants. My grandad passed away four years ago. And so House of an Art Lover holds precious memories for me and my family. When I was a teenager I told my parents that this is where I wanted to get married one day. However, a friend of mine had her wedding there and ever since the thought of having my wedding at the House of an Art Lover hasn't been as special to me. MrM knows this, but my family might try and convince us to pick HoaAL anyway.

Some of these venues are currently outside of the budget I set. However, I am thinking that by negotiating on the price and by saving money elsewhere, I could perhaps make them work.

Bridezilla

WEDDING THEME - INITIAL IDEAS

I have always wanted to have a Scottish wedding with kilts and to my surprise, MrM has agreed to where one. So our wedding theme will definitely include some tartan here and there. However, we do not want to go full-blown Scottish.

I am keen not to have what I would personally perceive as a "tacky" wedding. We want to keep things elegant and traditional.

Taking inspiration from the timber ballrooms I have fallen in love with, my first hunch is to go with a woodsy / boho vibe. I would like to incorporate tree trunks, lots of candles, wild flowers, ivy, eucalyptus, moss and branches. In terms of colours, I am thinking dark green, blue and white.

In terms of colours, I am thinking of sticking mainly to dark green, blue and white.

For my flowers, I imagine that they will include thistles, white roses, baby breath and a lot of greenery. I am hoping to make the table centre pieces myself by sourcing flowers from a local nursery.

I have created a Pinterest account to start gathering ideas:

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/mungallwedding/

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Bridezilla

WEDDING DRESS - INITIAL IDEAS

As mentioned previously I am planning to ask my mum to make my dress.

I don't know if she will say yes (it is a huge task with a lot of pressure) but I have always liked the idea. In fact, I would like to get our family involved as much as I possibly can.

My mum is an amazing seamstress. She used to make her own clothes and created my sister's gown for her school ball. I am more than confident that she can do it, if she accepts the challenge.

I am not going to get her started immediately (I want to lose another three stone before the wedding). Instead, I am planning to go wedding dress shopping with her and my bridesmaids, in order to get some inspiration and to find out what type of dress would suit my figure best.

I am pretty short (5ft2) with small breasts and a large bum. MrM loves my bum, but I have to disagree. I don't necessarily want to place too much emphasis on it. When I am at my ideal weight, I have a pretty slim waistline, which I would like to accentuate.

About ten years ago now my dentist showed us her beautiful lace wedding dress. It showed just about the right amount of skin and was so feminine and elegant. Then my neighbour wore a lace dress to her wedding. And I have been obsessed with this idea ever since. I also like the idea of showing a bit of my back.

The casual boho wedding dress is simply a dream come true! Trend-worthy lace off-the-shoulder sleeves pair with a deep sweetheart neckline.

Combine fresh and stylish with classic and timeless with a beautiful off the shoulder wedding dress! This romantic silhouette can be so versatile with so many fabrics and details flattering the style. The revealing aspect of an off the shoulder wedding dress is perfect for a pair shaped bride who is looking to show off […]

And for the bottom of the dress, I am currently thinking a full a-line skirt, either made of tulle or with several layers to add volume. I am a little surprised with myself, but I do think I want quite a princessy dress. They just look better in pictures. And it is a special occasion after all.

Browse Our Wedding DressesSometimes life turns out to be just the fairytale we’ve been dreaming about. We want you to…

Elegant und Hochwertige Brautkleider findet Ihr bei Anna Moda in Köln.

I am also playing with the idea of incorporating a hint of blue. Although part of me thinks this might be too much.

Suzy wore a stunning ombre/dip dye dress for her barefoot beach wedding in New…

It will be a careful balancing act between not doing too much and ending up "kitsch" vs having the wow factor. Of course, a lot will depend on how my dress inspiration shopping goes beforehand. At the moment I really like the look of the Essence of Australia dresses.

Finally, I need to find a way to incorporate the tartan. MrM wants me to wear a little bit of tartan at least for part of the day. As a symbol that I am now his lol. I am thinking a bespoke made throw for the ceremony or a shall to wrap myself in at the end of the evening reception.

 

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