Your planning threads

Planning a bandstand wedding!


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Helen225 wrote (see post):

Thanks everyone! 

Tanya - ooo thanks for the tip. I was thinking of possibly doing the bungee jump...  (OH thinks im mad). 

Jenni - I've not heard of it so we're not doing it lol, we had waaaaay too much choice of things to do! 

Nikki - yours sounds great! Seeing yours has made me think we're going for the right length of time in Cape Town and Kruger. That's one of the hardest things for me, working out how long to spend in each place. We very nearly did it DIY but ended up basically taking our itinery to trailfinders and then at least we get what we want plus transfers and no worrying about me working it out wrong (for example, they pointed out that I couldn't make our flight out of Kruger and we couldn't physically get out of the park early enough to get the flight, doh!). I cant wait to see the penguins near Cape! When do you go? 

I fully intended to do the bungee jump when I was there then I watched a couple of my friends doing it and still to this day the phrase, 5,4,3,2,1 Bungee! Gives me the chills, I have never regretted changing my mind! 111 metres no thank you!!


My Dad

My dad died seven years ago when I was 24. I'm an only child with no extended family - my Mum and Dad were also firm believers in 'keeping to yourselves' and, I'm not sure whether they advocate this or not or it's just what I took from my childhood, but they brought me up to rarely show emotion too. My OH on the other hand only knows his Mum's side of the family but it's huge and Christmas is always a massive family affair which I love, albeit it find it slightly overwhelming at times. They all love each other so much, so openly, worts and all. It's made me realise that you can shout and cry and your family will understand and, hell, even join in! It's not about showing weakness, it's about showing passion and love. This I guess subconsciously and consciously has driven me away from my Mum, as, although I was never a Mummy's girl, I do now have the kind of relationship with her where I find myself seeing her because it's the day to do so, etc. I find it very sad but she's also a very difficult woman.

For a while, I've been trying to figure out how best to honour him at the wedding, without feeling uncomfortable about the amount of emotion on display and without wanting to upset my Mum. A few of the usual ways of honouring those that cannot be there make my toes curl thinking about.

On Thursday I bought a locket to put a photo of my Dad in which I'm going to put in my bra close to my heart. My secret that he is with me walking me down the aisle.


One of the first things I pinned on my pinterest board was the below. We've found a frame that has space for twelve photos - four bridesmaids, four ushers, two Mums, my Dad, and the OHs Grandad (he was his male figure in his life). Rather than have headings above the photos, each of them in the photo will be holding a chalkboard with 'Charlotte - MOH' for example. For my Dad and OHs Grandad, we're going to find photos of us as kids sat on their knees or something and then photoshop the chalkboard in. 

The other thing I want to do - I'm really hoping I will be brave enough to - is to give my Dad's speech. I want to introduce the two people who should be on the top table to everyone in the room (in a light hearted way!). This will include the final idea where I'll tell everyone we're actually having three first dances. The traditional one, then a song that reminds us of my Dad (probably Bruce), then a song that reminds us of Grandad (probably Kenny Rodgers) and tell everyone to make sure they dance!

Half of me really hopes my Mum understands and she doesn't find it distasteful talking about feelings; the other half of me really doesn't give a s*** and can just picture my Dad rolling his eyes at me lol. I know she will be in the minority in that room. 

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