So we met just last year in February - online - although not through any of the traditional routes. We actually met on a forum, a bereaved spouses forum to be precise - stick with it, it has a happy ending :-)
Relatively obviously, we had both lost our spouses to cancer only the month before - we have since joked it is the worst dating site ever, the entry requirements are quite brutal! Both having been through what was really quite a horrendous time for quite a long time, and both still relatively young (40’s and 50’s) it all started very innocently but it soon became obvious that something had clicked and after messages turned to emails turned to texts turned to phone calls we finally met up in March and have not looked back.
I guess if all that I went through before has taught me anything it is that you should make the most of every moment and just go for it. So I did. So we both did.
Not only do we both understand what we’ve been through, we also have a similar approach to life, death and grief and we have seen each other through all the firsts. But there is more to it than that. He is genuinely the loveliest man I have ever met, everything has clicked into place and there is nothing I would change. I really feel I have found my soul mate.
We have both been married before. Me to my previous partner in a wedding planned and executed in 10 days after things started to turn pretty grim - we still managed a church wedding with most of the frills. Him to his ex of 10+ years ago and mother of his 2 children who is alive and well.
He has gained a large white German shepherd in life and I have gained 2 step children who are nearly and all grown up! All have been welcomed with open arms and we all get on fabulously. There is a small issue of 160+ miles between us but we make it work and we will be living together eventually!
So that’s us. A strange meeting. Our friends and family have been quite surprised - haven’t we all! But everyone has been very supportive and I think they realised pretty quickly that actually this was a thing.
So just 6 months after we met, and I found myself engaged. It wasn’t entirely a surprise, we had discussed it, I had pointed at rings I like, but I did not expect it to be that year to be honest!
It happened at home (his) when he mysteriously disappeared with the dog and then came thundering downstairs in what I can only describe as some sort of hysteria. He kept saying - there’s something on the dog.... and I looked and there wasn’t. And he went on with increasing hysteria, whilst I insisted all she had on was her lead which could come off. As he laughed his head off I decided to try to diffuse the situation by showing him a photo I had seen online of a rug made from a stuffed dog which I was suitably appalled by.
So basically he was in hysterics trying to direct me to the dog and I was trying to show him a dead dog rug.
Eventually I studied the lead properly and saw 2 (yes 2!) rings attached to it - which I instantly recognised from my ‘I do like these diamond stacking rings’ email. Immediate tears. And suddenly he was on one knee. I can’t remember what he said exactly but I do know it made me blub and ended with - will you marry me? To which the answer was a definite yes!
We had already booked to go for a fancy lunch in honour of the 6 months so we went out for a lovely meal with champagne to celebrate. It was a beautiful day and I will never forget it! Mad, a little bit spontaneous but genuine. I loved it.