bridemaid bother! HELP!!!!!!

i am getting married next year and have having 4 bridesmaids 3 of which are family members and the other my so called best friend. so you can guess which bridemaid is the issue here?! well, at first i thought i being stupid and petty, but i thought a bridesmaid is supposed to have interest in the wedding and the plans, because this is where i am wrong. my friend doesnt ask me about further developments in the plans and this is when she actually speaks to me, she never contacts me to see how i am or anything. the only time i was going to see her in the last 2 months and shes cancelled on me. when it comes to dresses, at first she asked if she could wear a trouser suit (of course no!) then ive compromised what i wanted as the styles that i wanted dont suit her. when theyve been tried on she keeps saying well im taking it off at night etc. i am worried she will make the day either a big show about her wearing a dress or make it more stresful than it needs to be! i am all ready stressed and there is more than year to go. i feel i have rushed in and now dont want her to be bridesmaid. how do i tell her this?? (sorry to moan but really need advice, my h2b has offered to tell her as he doesnt want our day ruined but i think it should come from me)

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