Quiz

When you first met your mother-in-law-to-be you thought:

I must make her like me

She’s just as he described her

The man I love is mistaken – she’s a monster!

When your future mother-in-law offered to help with the wedding you thought:

Great! What we really need is a big fat cheque

What a relief – I could really use some help

I just know she’s going to try and take over

As the wedding plans progress:

You listen to her suggestions, but don’t take any of them. It’s your wedding after all, not hers

You ask for specific help planning the menu and order of service as you know she will have loads of good ideas to contribute

You stop returning her calls

If your future mother-in-law asks you to Sunday lunch you feel:

Grateful not to have to cook, so you grin and bear it

Pleased to be spending the afternoon with the future in-laws

Furious that he’s accepted – she thinks she’s Delia Smith!

When you and your mother-in-law-to-be disagree:

You smile to her face, then make your fiancé tell her she’s wrong

You keep the discussion civil

You throw a strop and refuse to let your fiancé visit her

MOSTLY As:
Are you really trying to get to know your fiancé's mum, or just putting on a show of being friendly in the hope that she'll think you're worthy of her precious son? Instead of thinking of her as another parent, try to develop an adult relationship with her.

Put any preconceptions aside and try to think of her as a person - she's likely to extend the same respect back to you and things won't feel so strained. As your relationship develops, you won't need to force your husband to mediate. And remember: the fact that he loves and respects his mother reflects well on him.

MOSTLY Bs:
Even if you never feel the desire to call her "mum", it's great that you've realised that a civil and pleasant relationship with your mother-in-law- will make all your lives happier - and easier.

That said, don't worry if you feel you need some boundaries - it's important that you and your husband realise that your relationship comes first. You also need the freedom to create your own set of family traditions without worrying about how this will make her feel.

MOSTLY Cs:
Tensions are running high between the two of you. It may be  too late to smooth things over before the wedding, but look to the future. This woman is important in your fiancé's life, so instead of declaring war and forcing him to take sides, allow him to love her too.

Boundaries are fine, but when you're with his mum, give her a chance and do your best to be civil - she may just surprise you and turn out not to be so bad at all. Your new husband is about to vow to be with you for ever, so don't feel threatened by his love for his mother - recognise that there's room in his heart for you both.