Offer plenty of choice
Avoid making your list too limited. Make sure it contains a wide range of prices - everything from an £8 dustpan and brush set which your young nephew can give you, to a £250 tumble dryer that your parents could buy. If you put too few items on the original list, guests will not have much choice and may be stuck between items priced below what they wanted to spend and more expensive items which are way above.
Be careful not to offend
Don't include gift list details with your invitations if you know certain guests will be offended. Etiquette specialist Debrett's believes it is rude to include a card with details of your gift list, although lots of people do it. Most brides have a good idea of who will be grateful for the guidance and who will still prefer to choose their own gift and can use their discretion. Another way to do this is to add a note at the end of your invitation saying ‘If you'd like details of our guest list please call us...' although this means double the postage costs and twice the time.
Remember the details
Try not to forget who sent what. As you sit surrounded by crumpled gift-wrap, it's easy to lose track of who bought which gifts. Guests are offended if they don't receive a thank-you card and being thanked for the wrong gift comes a close second. To take the pressure off, try to keep cards or messages with the right presents and if people have brought gifts along to the wedding rather than ordering them through your official list, make a note of what they are as you unwrap them. Specialist wedding list services usually make it even easier by giving you a printout of who bought what, either just before the wedding or soon after, and some will even send you updates every week so that you can get on with your thank you notes.
Play the diplomat
Don't put your foot in it with unwanted gifts. If, despite all your careful planning, there were still guests who went ‘off-list' and consequently, instead of tasteful white china you are the proud new owners of a lurid teaset, beware. You could stash it away in a cupboard to be brought out whenever that friend or relative comes to visit, but that seems a waste of money. There are two ways out of this predicament. First, if you know where the gift came from you could quickly return and exchange it for something more suitable. The big drawback with this is if your friend or relative comes round and expects to see their gift in situ. The second way is to be upfront about it and explain that you've already got something similar or you would prefer something smaller. Simply saying "it's ghastly" isn't really good enough.
Photo Andy Warhol Wedding Cake tea towel collection
