Best man's countdown

As soon as possible / 12 months to go

• You find out you are best man - note the wedding date in your diary and make sure you keep the week before clear too.

9 months to go

• Engagement party

5 months to go

• Help the groom choose his ushers.
• Start thinking about the stag party/weekend. Discuss with the groom his idea of a good stag night, and then privately decide on some suitable surprises to add to this plan - although make sure they are still in keeping with the mood of the night and the feelings of the groom.
• Let the groom's friends know the date for the stag weekend.

4 months to go

• Discuss wedding plans with the bride and groom so you know who the other members of the wedding party are.
• Investigate transport arrangements and get something booked.
• Go with the groom to choose wedding outfits

3 months to go

• Start writing your speech.
• Buy a gift and a card for the wedding couple.

2 months

• Start practising your speech regularly and get feedback from someone you trust.
• Confirm all the stag weekend arrangements.

4 weeks to go

• The stag party/weekend

3 weeks to go

• Prepare a duty list for the ushers and call them to confirm what they are doing and what time they need to arrive etc.
• Visit wedding reception venue with the couple to familiarise yourself.
• Confirm the order of the speeches with the bride and groom.
• Check the groom has the wedding ring.

2 weeks to go

• Finalise speech

1 week to go

• Attend rehearsal dinner.
• Collect order of ceremony sheets.
• Go with the groom to collect hired outfits.
• Confirm arrangements for collecting buttonholes from the bride.
• Check with groom that all honeymoon dates have been confirmed.
• Get together decorations for couple's getaway car.
• Give the bride and groom their gift and card from you.

1 day to go

• Charge up your mobile phone.
• Withdraw plenty of cash.
• Collect letters and cards from absent friends from the bride's family.
• Check that the groom has the ring, knows where it is and that it is somewhere safe.
• Set your alarm for the following morning.

The big day

• Wake up the groom. If you're not staying with him then phone him.
• Ten minutes later call him/knock on his door again to check he hasn't gone back to sleep.
• Phone the chief usher to check everything is under control.
• Double-check travel arrangements.
• Check clothing, accessories, money and paperwork (licence and certificate of banns).
• Remember the rings.
• Collect buttonholes.
• Meet at the wedding venue three hours before the wedding.
• Proceed to the nearest pub for pre-nuptial Dutch courage - one glass only.
• Arrive back at the venue one hour before the ceremony.
• Check you have the rings.
• Five minutes to go, take your positions at the front of the church.

The rest of the day...

• Best man - After the ceremony there's no let up for the best man.
• Accompany the bridesmaids out of the church. Walk slowly and calmly.
• Outside, if confetti is allowed have a spare pack in your pocket to distribute and also to help the photographer with his "confetti shot".
• Later, help direct the guests to the reception and, once there, to the receiving line (or if there isn't one then to the bar).
• Your big moment, the speech, is next on the list. Speak calmly and slowly and hopefully those weeks of practise won't let you down.
• Act the party host - encourage people on to the dance floor and try to ensure everyone is having a good time, including you.
• If they are leaving that same evening, make sure the married couple get away smoothly. Help get their bags in the car, take charge of any hire outfits to be returned and promise to look after any leftover wedding presents
• Decorate the car - tin cans, shaving foam, you know the score - before waving goodbye.
• Pour yourself a well-earned drink
• Finally, before you call it a day, be sure to offer your assistance to the bride and groom's parents if there's any clearing up to do.
• And... relax. Job done.

Start a discussion :: Print this article ::