Your engagement is a wonderfully exciting time, but the amount that needs to be done can quickly seem overwhelming. Don't shoulder the burden alone. Learn the art of delegation. Harness the goodwill of family and friends or hire professionals to help you. With fewer chores to do, you can relax and savour the experience of planning the best bits of your dream day. But how do you decide who should do what? It depends more on talent than tradition so forget about conventional roles and rules - anyone can help with any aspect of the day. You just need to be willing to ask.
The tough stuff
Two of the biggest tasks you face are finding the wedding and/or reception venue and sourcing trustworthy suppliers. Instead of starting from square one, ask some of your recently married friends for recommendations or visit the chat room at www.youandyourwedding.co.uk.
Many venues are hired as an empty shell, meaning you bring in all your own suppliers, so ask family members to help with initial calls to furniture hire companies, florists and caterers to check prices and availability. At other venues everything is included in a package deal or you will be provided with lists of recommended suppliers.
Invitations can be a headache. Addressing envelopes is a time-consuming task, so it's a job only your closest friends can be asked to take on. Invite sisters, aunties or bridesmaids round to help, and make it a party - but go easy on the champers so the handwriting stays legible! Alternatively, hire a calligrapher to do the work. This will add about £100 to the budget but will save hours of time and give you beautiful results.
Now it's time to manage the RSVP list. This is a task your mum or the groom's mother could oversee, leaving you free to focus on the flowers, favours or other more creative tasks.
Outfits for the wedding party are another major concern. You definitely want to choose your look yourself, but what about everyone else's? Instead of trying to take over the responsibility of what the groom will wear, set strict guidelines and trust him to shop without you. And don't spend anxious hours hunting for dresses and shoes for your bridesmaids. Let them do the shopping themselves. Outline the wedding's colour theme and the level of formality and give them lots of magazine pictures of styles you like for guidance.
Little things mean a lot...
... of work! Once the big issues are sorted, you may think you can relax. Think again. There's still lots to do before the big day so don't overlook these details. The men are usually only too keen to sort out the entertainment, so let them take charge. The groom, best man, a dad or brother can research the perfect musicians, band, DJ and fireworks. The menus, placecards and table plan can become a burden. Many venues can handle these for you, so unload this onto them if possible. Alternatively, ask friends with good handwriting to help or print them off on a computer. Getting stuck sweeping up confetti is a fast ticket to post-wedding blues, so ask if your venue can handle the clean-up. The best man and chief bridesmaid can return hired items, leaving you free to escape to honeymoon heaven.
If all else fails
Hire a wedding co-ordinator who will take on all the responsibilities, from finding the perfect cake maker to suggesting tiny touches that will make your wedding stand out. They can even oversee the decorating of the venue and they'll make sure the day runs smoothly. So instead of keeping track of the cake knife or setting up the microphone for the speeches, you can focus on enjoying the day with your guests and your new husband.
