The prospect of making a speech can be daunting, but with some preparation and practice just about anyone can do it. After all, you're not dealing with a hostile audience but a group of well-wishers who are already warmed-up by the happiness of the occasion (not to mention a glass or two of bubbly!). So whether you're the bride's father, the groom, the best man, maid of honour or even the bride herself, here are some tips to help you sail through your speech with style
These words...
You need to start by actually writing your speech. And don't leave it to late. The longer you have to write it, the better it will be.
- DO Plan your speech, write bold headliners on small cards and organise them into small sections
- DON'T Witter on endlessly. Your speech should have a beginning, middle and end. This sounds obvious but it will help you write a better speech if you bear this in mind
- DO List all the points you need to make, including welcomes/thanks and toasts then cross them off as you write them in your first draft. That way you won't forget anything important
- DON'T Concern yourself too much with grammar. You don't want to sound stilted
- DO Buy a wedding speeches book. Use one of their basic formats if you lack confidence, then add your own stories and anecdotes
- DON'T Use long sentences or long words you aren't comfortable with. You'll end up gasping for breath, stuttering and not sounding like yourself
- DO a word count once you've written your first draft and then time yourself reading it
- DON'T Feel the pressure to be funny. Be sincere, to the point and conversational and the laughs (and tears) should follow
Practice makes perfect
Having written your speech it's time to rehearse. Think of yourself as an actor. Dame Judi Dench wouldn't go on stage without rehearsing tirelessly and nor should you
- DO Read through your speech in front of a mirror to familiarise yourself with it. This will help you to stay animated. Even better, have yourself recorded on video. It may make you cringe at first, but watching yourself on film should help you learn where you're going right - and wrong
- DON'T Try to learn your speech off by heart. You may end up reciting it parrot fashion and without emotion
- DO Compromise between reading your speech and reciting it. This will allow you to gain confidence in your presentation and familiarise yourself with the content
- DON'T Rely on reading the whole thing. It will lack emotion and animation and you'll end up sounding like a newsreader
- DO Try your speech out in front of a friend and gauge their reaction. Constructive criticism can help you decide whether your speech needs editing
- DON'T Forget to type up your speech and highlight new paragraphs and pauses. This will help you achieve a smooth delivery
- DO Learn vital facts such as people's names and make sure you know how to pronounce them
- DO Have a dress rehearsal where you stand behind a table with a chair behind you, a glass of water (and wine) in front of you and treat it like it's the real thing. Which means no ‘starting again'!
Stand and Deliver
The big day has arrived, but don't panic because all the preparation you've put in will stand you in good stead. You just have to remember a few key points and voila! - a fabulous speaker is born...
- DO Stand up straight and try to stay relaxed. Fiddling with loose change or fidgeting will distract your audience from what you're saying and show them you're nervous
- DON'T Drink too much alcohol before your speech, swear or tell any embarrassing stories. Enough said
- DO Take a deep breath before you begin speaking and remember to keep breathing throughout. It sounds obvious, yet that's the first thing you forget when nerves take over
- DON'T Compete with noise. Wait for silence before you start speaking
- DO Speak slowly and clearly but not too slowly or it won't sound natural
- DO Feel you can be flexible with your speech. If there's an amusing anecdote from the day you want to add - do (as long as it's appropriate, of course!)
- DO Make eye contact with your audience to create a connection
- DON'T Go on too long. Remember how you feel about speeches at a social function and leave them wanting more, not wanting you to finish
