Best friend and general behind-the-scenes support, your bridesmaid is an important part of the modern wedding
Whether you’re having just one special friend or family member, or an entire troupe by your side, think carefully before choosing your bridesmaids. First, decide on the size and scale of your wedding to help determine how many bridesmaids will be appropriate. Ideally, you want someone who will be a fun and honest shopping partner, who will organise a great hen night and who loves you and gets on well with your family.
Consider also whether you’d like to have a flowergirl. They can certainly add to the cute factor, but also to the stress levels! Spend lots of time with them explaining what happens on the day, making it all sound as much fun as possible so they really feel like a big part of your special day. Popping the question When you’ve decided who you’d like to ask, don’t be offended if they decline your offer. Being a bridesmaid is a big responsibility and not something that everyone enjoys. Organising a hen night and going for dress fittings also takes time, which your friend may feel like she can’t dedicate. When you approach your maid, discuss with her what each of you thinks her roles and responsibilities will be, so it is clear from the outset. It’s also important to discuss money to prevent arguments further down the line - it should be clear who’s paying for what when it comes to outfits.
What to wear Every bridesmaid dreads being told she’s expected to wear a puff-sleeved frilly satin number, but these days bridesmaid dresses tend to be elegant, stylish and often something the bridesmaid can wear again. While your maids should accept what you would like them to wear, it’s a good idea to compromise and let them be involved in choosing the dress. You want them to feel comfortable and pretty, so if you have more than one bridesmaid, be sure to consider styles that will suit them all. If they are different shapes and sizes, consider buying different styles of dress made from the same fabric. When it comes to paying, traditionally the bridesmaid’s parents paid for the outfits. These days sometimes the bridesmaids pay for everything themselves, or brides treat them. The cost might even be split - perhaps you might buy their dresses while they buy their own shoes. Whatever the decision, make sure this is something you talk about before you start shopping!
Hair and beauty All eyes will be on you on the big day, but the bridesmaids will want to look their best as well. If you’re having your hair and make-up done by the professionals, it might be an idea to ask them if they would like an appointment too. Again, this is situation where you need to discuss who’s going to pay beforehand. It’s also worth considering hairpins, tiaras and other jewellery - these items could be considered your gift to thank them for being a bridesmaid.
Her responsibilities One of the most important responsibilities for your bridesmaids is organising the hen night, so you need to give them a rough idea of what you’d like to do and who you’d like to invite, and leave them to plot! Your bridesmaids will also be invaluable when you’re shopping for your outfit, shoes, handbag and even for table decorations. On the day of the wedding, your chief bridesmaid will need to help you and any smaller maids get ready, and ensure that any frayed nerves are calmed. At the ceremony, she will hold your bouquet and make sure your dress and veil look their best at all times. She should also keep your emergency kit close to hand for any quick touch-ups to your hair and make-up that might be necessary.
Saying thanks After months of being wonderfully supportive, your bridesmaids deserve a big thank you. As well as a written note and a verbal thank you, it’s a lovely idea to buy a gift. There’s no need to spend a fortune - it’s the thought that counts. Whatever you choose, wrap it beautifully and either ask the best man to present it during his speech, or take a moment at the reception to give presents out yourself.
