The traditional top table doesn’t always work if you have step-families and people can feel hurt if they don’t ‘qualify’. “Have an American sweetheart table where you sit on a table for two and enjoy some romantic time without the politics,” says receptions style editor Vanessa Gore. Or sit guests at banqueting tables with you and your groom in the middle. “If you’re worried about guests on the end, ask everyone to swap seats for dessert!” says Kelly Chandler of the Bespoke Wedding Company.

Singles table

Try not to tuck unattached guests at the back like some kind of singles outpost. A table of singles can really buzz if you have a few confident types to keep conversation going and leave crackers or flowers with jokes in them to break the ice. “Or mix couples with guests on their own, say three couples and four singles on a table of ten,” says Kelly Chandler.

Feuding families

If people don’t get on, split them up - keeping the peace is more important than keeping them together.  With divorced parents ask each parent to host their own table and divide friends and family according to who knows who best – for instance, the bride’s dad and step mum could host one table, her mum and step dad could host another, and the groom’s parents could host a third.

Children’s tables

 “Tables for children aged between eight and 15 can be a good idea,” says Kim Neville from thepinkpumpkin.co.uk. “Give them crayons and stickers and get a guest to supervise them.” Put tables away from doors where they can catch their fingers or get in the way of serving staff and, ideally, not within tempting touch of the cake!  Or hire a creche service. “Brides tend to use us to cover the meal and the speeches,” says Monika Solanki of monkeysonthemove.co.uk. “Prices depend on travelling costs, the number of children and their ages. Be sure to check the company for insurance and CRB checks.”

The party animals

There’s always one group that heckles the speeches. If your mates tend to get more outrageous the more they drink, put their table furthest from the bar so they can’t supplement the wine with pints of beer or chasers, and keep them away from the great-aunts if their language tends to be ‘colourful’.  “People egg one another on – it’s the pack mentality,” says Kelly Chandler. “So if you’re worried a certain group may get out of control, split them across two or three tables,”

The more mature guests

If your older relatives tend to be happier with their own generation create a table or two for nans, aunts, uncles and friends of a certain age. And if they are quite elderly, put them quite close to the top table in case anyone has trouble hearing the speeches, and don’t put them too far from the loo!

5 steps to the perfect plan

Don’t have one. “You can get away with this at a small wedding or with a buffet or a barbecue,” says Kim Neville. “Any wedding above 30 - or a seated meal - needs a plan so that staff know where to serve vegetarian or special diet meals.”

Consider escort cards. At US weddings, couples sometimes give guests ‘escort cards’ which are envelopes telling guests which table to sit at but not which seat.

Think about acoustics. Try not to seat anyone giving a speech at one end of the room as people at the other end may struggle to hear. Watch for noisy hotspots such as underneath speakers (especially if you are supplying CDs) or near the kitchen which tends to have a lot of clanking when food is served.

Think mix, not gender. Boy-girl-boy-girl is traditional, but don’t stick to it so rigidly that you break up good friends! Most people talk most to the person on either side of them, so choosing who sits beside who is more important than whether they are lads or lasses

Go with the flow “I had three people drop out at the last minute, which meant guests rearranged themselves and I ended up with three gaps on the same table,” says Y&YW’s Cathy Howes. “When that happens there’s nothing you can do. The six people left on a table set for nine didn’t mind – they just said there was more wine to go round!”

Use the Y&YW wedding tools to plan and organise the seating at your wedding.