Everyone thinks your wedding ends when the guests start leaving. But actually, maybe that’s when the fun’s just getting started...
After one of the longest and most exhilarating days of your life, chances are, when you fall into your bridal suite bed all you’ll be interested in is some good-old shuteye. But if you do you decide to get intimate, and whether it’s your first time or you’ve been at it for years, we bring you our top 10 tips to make the first sex of your marriage an unforgettable experience.
1. Don’t feel the pressure to perform
Being told you have to do something is rarely sexy; so don’t make wedding night sex something else to tick off your big day to-do list.
“Don’t put pressure on yourselves to have sex. You’ve got enough going on with organising the whole day,” says Rebecca Dakin aka The Great British Sexpert.
“Good sex needs to be spontaneous – if it happens, it happens and you’ve both got to be up for it.”
Lower your expectations so you’re not disappointed when “the best sex ever” or a marathon session doesn’t occur. “Don’t necessarily avoid a quickie as that’s all you might have the energy for,” says Rebecca. “That could be a rather nice little release after months of stressful planning.”
2. Lay off the alcohol
We’re not suggesting no booze – especially not if you've put on some amazing wedding cocktails – but if you’ve really got your heart set on w-night sex, it’s best to limit your intake.
Alcohol is a depressant and can dampen both your libidos and make it difficult for men to get an erection. That said, being a little bit tipsy can certainly help reduce inhibitions.
“If you’re first timers, it’s even more important to think about how much you’re drinking as you’ll be nervous and more mindful about saving a bit of energy throughout the day,” says Rebecca.
“Don’t feel like you have to stay till the very end of the evening. You could sneak off while everyone is still partying and hope that no one notices!”
One thing you don’t have to limit is your food intake, as this will keep your energy levels up and prevent exhaustion. Make sure one of your maids is prepped to ensure you don’t miss out on a slice of wedding cake!
3. Plan ahead
Unless you’re still in the first throes of passion and can’t keep your hands off each other, stand-out sex requires a bit of forward planning.
If you’ve been together for years before saying “I do” and are stuck in a bit of a sex rut, make time before the big day to communicate any specific first night desires with your partner. It’s also worth planning ahead when it comes to where you’ll be spending the night together.
Invest in a gorgeous bridal suite at your venue or nearby hotel or, if you’re heading home after the big day, think about making your bedroom look extra special.
If you’ve used it to get ready that morning with your maids, there are likely to be make-up bags and curlers strewn all over the place.
Tidying up before you jump into bed can instantly kill the romance, so think about using another room for the morning preparations. It’s also a nice idea to buy some good quality sheets to upgrade your bed for the night too, to give you that bridal suite feeling.
4. Think about your surroundings
If you’ve just left the dance floor having gyrated to the likes of The Killers and MJ, you’re probably not in the right mindset to be sensual as soon as you turn the key to your suite.
Now’s the time to slow things down a bit by playing some romantic music, lighting a candle or running a bath for two.
Consider asking your maid of honour or wedding planner to set up your suite with romantic touches on the morning of the wedding.
“It’s definitely worth thinking about your surroundings, although whether you’ll appreciate it by the end of the day is another matter!” says Rebecca.
“Winding down is the most important thing after a wedding. If you’re in a calm environment with some nice aromatherapy oils or candles, that’s when the magic happens. It’s less likely if you’ve
just danced to Come on Eileen and then hopped straight into bed!”
Make sure your suite doesn’t become the scene of the afterparty either – there’s nothing sexy about feeling a champagne cork digging into your back as you’re trying to get it on.
5. Create suspense
Think of your wedding as one long foreplay session, from the moment your celebrant says, “You may now kiss the bride” until the time your partner carries you across the threshold of your beautiful bridal suite.
“If you really want to go to town on your wedding night, then you need to invest some time into creating suspense and the best place to do this is during the build up,” says Rebecca.
If you want to really add to the anticipation, think about abstaining from sex in the run up to the wedding. No matter how tired you are, we guarantee after months of no action you’ll be up for it on w-night.
6. Dress the part
You’ll feel sexy on your wedding day anyway – you’re at your most beautiful, probably feeling toned after pre-wedding workouts and with your hair and make-up done to perfection.
Make the most of this body confidence by investing in amazing underwear.
“Having lovely lingerie on underneath your dress is all part of how you feel on the big day,” says Rebecca.
“Regardless of what happens on the night, it’s worth investing in special underwear. You don’t want to walk down the aisle wearing lingerie that doesn’t make you feel good – it’s got to be the whole package to get you in the mood.”
If you are sporting Bridget Jones-style support wear under a super-slinky dress, slip something a little comfier into your overnight bag.
7. Share your memories
Before you hit the sack, make time to reminisce about your favourite parts of the day and to absorb the exciting fact that you’re now officially married!
Sharing touching and funny moments from the day can help you feel less tired, and is a romantic way to make you both feel intimate and close. Focus on the best bits – now is not the time to think about anything that didn’t go to plan!
8. Make time for foreplay
“If you want to make the sex extra special, you really need to concentrate on lots of foreplay and creating the right environment,” says Rebecca.
“Massage is a great way to make things slow and sensual and foreplay is especially important to help brides get in the mood.”
Miss Vivien's Massage Gel, £88, is our favourite way to make massages extra special. It contains gold particles and diamond powder, leaving your skin with a luminous glow and a sweet scent of cookies and cream - ideal for the most intimate of moments.
If you're feeling especially playful, invest in Miss Vivien's Intimate Lubricant, £58, too.
9. Play the part
“Consider introducing a bit of role play, as that can be great to spice things up if you’ve been together a while,” says Rebecca.
“Playing a part can add an element of spontaneity, fun and excitement to a routine that’s going a bit stale.”
Role play doesn’t have to be scary or involve playing a character, it could simply be just pretending it’s your first time together again.
10. Have a lie-in
Setting your alarm for 5am to dash off to the airport is one of the least sexy ways to start married life – so think about your first morning as newlyweds when you’re booking the honeymoon and schedule your departure to have a more leisurely pace.
Luxuriating in a lie-in takes the pressure off the night before, giving you plenty of wiggle room for some romance.