Katie, 33, is in PR, while her ex-soldier H2B Ultimate Hero (UH), 38, is a close protection bodyguard. She will be sharing her wedding diary with us in the countdown to her big day on April 30, 2011.
I have the Hero back – although he arrived in a whirlwind of X Factor fever, the announcement of Kate and Will’s engagement and the deadline for my VAT return.
I was understandably quite put out that the royal wedding is now the day before mine. Now ego aside, I am actually mostly annoyed that I can’t make a day of it, have the girls around for tea and cake and watch it with the nation. I will be in the nail salon with my tribe, and then shortly after rehearsing my walk down the cathedral runway.
The Hero announced that there were many similarities between the two nuptials. Kate and I share a name and an appreciation of military men. We are both getting married in cathedrals and will most likely be walking down the aisle to Prince of Denmark’s March by Jeremiah Clarke. And bless UH for suggesting we will both be princesses after we get married – even though my estate has a British flag for a curtain instead of velvet drapes, and my land looks like a used car yard instead of perfectly clipped and manicured hedges framed with water fountains.
Due to the fact that I cannot take anytime off work and we have the administration of a small country to do, we were desperate to get away this weekend. With limited time at our disposal and a need to actually spend some time together, we decided to book a night in a hotel. We wanted something really lush, out of the way but still in London – so we settled on Malmaison in East London. This was one of the best decisions we ever made.
The beds in these hotels are so massive they belong more in an episode of MTV’s Cribs than they do in East London. The design of the rooms is really gorgeous, with very luxurious bathrooms and full-size toiletries that have labels that say ‘Take me Home’ on them. The bath was even big enough to accommodate UH and his epic shoulders and overdeveloped chest.
On arrival UH ordered a bottle of pink champagne, and for the first time we had nothing to do, nowhere to be, nobody to see – it was awesome. When I booked dinner at the hotel restaurant I asked them to put us in the romantic corner, so our table was tucked away with its own private fireplace.
The meal we had was so delicious, it was the perfect inspiration for our wedding breakfast. I am now very determined to have an array of different-shaped plates and an icing-sugar stencil for our desserts. The staff were so kind to us too, and could sense we needed a bit of taking care of, which was such a treat.
Later on, slumped in our bed the size of a multi-storey car park watching X Factor, I was stunned with a thought that smacked my brain like a bolt of lightning. I looked over to UH to see if he noticed the bizarre expression on my face. Thankfully he didn’t. He was in a severe cloud of confusion watching Wagner and was drastically concerned with the state of mind of British society, as well as Googling pictures of Frodo Baggins to confirm how Katie’s new hairstyle made her look like him. I, meanwhile, was bewildered to be slightly overcome with attraction to Simon Cowell.
Now I know according to those ‘secret crushes’ studies you read in the paper every now and then that the Cowell rates pretty highly, along with Phillip Schofield, Richard Madeley and James Corden. But the truth is, after life with UH, not one man can hold a candle to him. (Michael Hutchence may have come close – and maybe Mark Wahlberg circa the Calvin Klein billboard days). Seriously though, after life with the Hero I don’t register other men. It is like the men of the world are the diffusion line to the UH designer label.
The attraction to Simon Cowell didn’t go away during my analysis. It then dawned on me why. I had only recently stumbled across teenage pictures of UH – where he looks freakishly like a young Simon Cowell: perfectly straight, glowing teeth (Hero’s are real and not Hollywood produced), and that strange, architecturally designed black flat-top haircut.
It baffles me that this time last year UH and I were not even together yet and now we have our wedding booked. I am not sure what is more bizarre: meeting and getting married in a year, or getting engaged on your first date. It is weird to think UH was never my boyfriend – he has always been my fiancé. There is one thing the future princess and I don’t share: I didn’t wait eight years for a proposal, just eight hours.
Katie (a lover of Simon Cowell, and the Malmaison’s food presentation) xx
Read Katie's wedding diary week 16 (and find links to earlier weeks) here.
Read Katie's wedding diary week 17 here.
Read Katie's wedding diary week 18 here.
Read Katie's wedding diary week 19 here.
Read Katie's wedding diary week 20 here.
