We’ve heard our fair share of stories about terrible bridesmaids, and normally we’re pretty unanimous that the bridesmaid is in the wrong, but one story has divided the You and Your Wedding team and we just can’t work out who’s in the wrong; the bride or the bridesmaids.
The 21-year-old bride took to reddit to vent her frustration, posting the below. Take a read and let us know what you think.
“I've had the same small group of friends since middle school. Lately we'd been growing apart, but I figured that was just due to college, work, etc. We still talked all the time.
I'm the first person in our group to get engaged, and I was really excited to do all the fun bridesmaids things with them. They didn't seem to be excited for me, but I figured it was just because they were busy.
I'll be honest that my friends had always been kind of flakey.
But it’s come to a head when planning my wedding. I tried to get them to come to an engagement party, but only my fiancé’s friends showed up. I tried to get them to throw me a bridal shower, but they didn't, and my mother and aunts ended up being the ones to throw it.
I tried to get them to come to my bachelorette party, but my sister/maid-of-honor told me that they weren't really communicating with her on it. Which is twice as heart-breaking because they are bride's maids.
The final straw was when I asked them go dress shopping with me. I told them I really needed them to be a part of this with me and we all agreed on a day to do it. Fast forward to that day and they all cancel on me. One of them doing so an hour before my appointment. I asked my mom to come with me and sister at the last minute, and it was a nice time, but I really wanted my friends with me.
I talked with my fiancé about it, and we both decided that we wouldn't have anyone in the wedding party besides us and the officiant. His groomsmen were fine with that. (No suits or dresses had been purchased yet, thankfully) My friends were indifferent."
"That's when I finally broke. I was so mad that they weren't even the slightest bit disappointed in not being my bridal party. I sent them a message in our group chat basically saying 'since you don't seem to care, I'll take you off the invitations."'
After a couple of days of them freaking out over text and me not answering their texts, I cooled down and realized that I had basically un-invited my only friends from my wedding.
I feel terrible. I want to re-invite them and make amends, but I'm afraid it'll just be another cycle until I snap again. I don't want our group that has been together for almost a decade to be broken up because I had a tantrum.
I asked my sister and she said to ditch them. But as I speak they are trying to scramble together a bachelorette party for me, and swearing that they'll make it up to me. The wedding is still a little bit away so there's still time to fix everything and even had a wedding party, but I'm sure if I should do that now.
I’m at a loss and I don't know if I was justified in doing what I did, or if I was just being childish.”
In some ways, she’s totally justified to sack them all as bridesmaids (we’ve heard brides strip people of their roles for much less!) but maybe uninviting her closest friends to her wedding is a step too far… after all, they are very young and maybe they didn’t know who was supposed to organise the bridal shower…
What do you think?