It was New Year’s Eve and we were about to start the countdown into the most exciting year of our lives: wedding year. But instead of linking hands ready for Auld Lang Syne, my friends were mid-debate about my husband-to-be Reid’s left hand and what it was going to look like after W-day. Exactly the same. Who’d have thought a small piece of metal, or the lack of it, could cause such a commotion?
When it came to the rings, Reid and I didn’t even need to discuss the fact that he wouldn’t be wearing one and that I would be taking the entire bling budget to deck my hand out in as many diamonds as possible. The fact was, Reid wearing jewellery would have been about as normal to us as me walking down the aisle in a suit, and with both our fathers going au naturel in the hand department, it was an unspoken rule.
The responses to the simple statement that Reid was going ringless ranged from “Aren’t you worried he’ll cheat on you?” to “But other women won’t know that he’s taken.” And while I was flattered my friends thought I’d landed such a hunk that women flock round him in the manner of a Lynx advert, I was rather taken aback that they seemed to think that a) Reid has a wandering eye, and b) a piece of platinum is some sort of anti-cheating talisman. When an email pinged into my inbox a few weeks after NYE stating that 68 per cent* of women find men wearing wedding rings more attractive than those who don’t, I felt as smug as I did when I realised that for the first and last time ever, I was in the same exclusive club as Kate Middleton and Samantha Cameron, whose other halves have banned the band too.
The only time my ring-resolve wavered was during the ceremony of a wedding we attended as an engaged couple. As the groom was presented with a ring, I did wonder – after Reid has given me my bespoke sparkler what happens next? Do I hold Reid’s hand and say, “With this nothing I thee wed”? But my moment of wedding band weakness was short-lived. When catching up with the newlyweds after the ceremony, all the groom could do was stare at his finger and say “this feels so weird” – not the first sentiment I wanted Reid to be feeling after the ‘I do’s’. Keen not to bring attention to the missing second ring on the day, I simply said “I receive this ring as a symbol of my commitment…” while Reid said “I give this ring as a symbol of my commitment…” We also incorporated a candle ceremony into the proceedings as a sign of our joining together.
Now, two years after our big day, Reid’s hand is still ring-free and funnily enough he’s still waiting for all those girls to pounce on him in bars. He does get the odd comment from other guys who’ve decided to embrace a band, but usually they just want to know how he got his wife to be so cool about him sticking to his own ringless style. But it was never something that he had to get me to agree to, after all, we always knew that after our wedding there would be so much more left than just a band of gold.