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12 wedding ideas you’ll regret

Because what starts as an ingenious idea on Pinterest might not work out as you planned...

While the wedding-sphere is bursting with fabulous tips and tricks, some big day ideas are best kept as just that: ideas. What begins as a little Pinterest-inspired DIY project can escalate to gigantic proportions, with you tearing your hair out in a state of wedding-induced insania. OK, that might be a slight exaggeration, but you get the idea. Here are 12 wedding ideas that need to be approached with extreme caution…

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1. DIY food

Although making your own canapes sounds like a fantastic money-saving idea a year before the big day, we can think of things we’d rather be doing the night before than wrestling with smoked salmon in an attempt to make 200 bitesize delights. Some things really are best left to the professionals, and food is one of them.

2. The ‘there is no seating plan’ seating plan

Seating plans are a wedding planning staple for a reason. To avoid a budget airline-style dash for the best seats and an inevitable squabble over which bridesmaid gets to sit next to your husband’s handsome cousin, stick to the good old fashioned seating plan.

3. Fire pits

While the thought of a romantic summer evening by a campfire sounds like something straight out of a knitwear photoshoot, the reality of having a real life fire at your reception is far less casual. If you actually find a wedding that will allow open fires, you will be left taking the not-so-sweet scent of smoke to bed with you on your wedding night. Sexy.

4. Donkeys, dogs and other creatures

Whoever said ‘never work with children and animals’ was definitely on to something. Farm animals might make for glossy-magazine-worthy photographs, but we won’t be smiling if they tread on our train with their muddy paws/hooves…

5. Open-mic night speeches

With a bottle of wine down (and the rest), it’s surprising how many guests will want to play a game of speech karaoke. Doing the rounds with the microphone might seem like great fun at first, but a surefire way for a few NSFW (not safe for weddings) stories to emerge.

6. Having EVERYONE come to your morning get-ready

When there’s one hour to go and your hair is doing that thing again, what we really want is to be surrounded by 20 other flustering people. Not. We’ve all seen the scenes from My Big Fat Greek Wedding: don’t let it happen to you.

7. Getting married in the middle of nowhere

We have to agree that the idea of escaping to a far-flung forest sounds like heaven, but the reality of transporting guests to and fro is another matter. To avoid physically punching your own sat nav, opt for a venue that’s a little less off the beaten track – your guests and your nerves will thank you.

8. Making your own wedding cake

We’ve all seen the wedding cake fail pictures, and watched many a stressed sweaty brow on Great British Bake Off. Making a wedding cake is a seriously tricky business and requires hands with cardiac surgeon-like precision, and you really do get what you pay for. Don’t run the risk of making an accidental homage to the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

9. Embarrassing bum photos

A word of advice to any wedding photographers out there who think bridesmaid bum-flash photos are ‘really funny’: no, just no. The same applies if you’re leaving disposable cameras on tables for your guests. Develop these with caution!

10. Debuting a new ‘fashion’ you

The temptation to breeze down the aisle looking totally Carrie-Bradshaw-fabulous is high, but it’s important that you still look like, well, you on your wedding day. The last thing you want is a ‘what have you done with my fiancée?’ look on your groom’s face at the end of the aisle, so step away from the bright fuchsia lipstick.

11. Drinking away your nerves

With alcohol flowing left, right and centre, it’s all too easy to get carried away when it comes to drinks. From arrival drinks and champagne toasts to aperitifs and that bottle of red that slipped down oh-so-easily, weddings are often a lesson in enforced alcoholism. When it’s you in the big dress, it’s time to take it easy.

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12. Praying for a scorching summer day

The weather might be one of the few things that is out of your control on W-day, but a blistering hot Saturday in June isn’t as perfect as it first sounds. One hundred people staring at you plus an emotional hot day equals a sweaty moustache. Top tip: pack deodorant.