It’s forever known as the most romantic day of your life, but a recent research has revealed that more than half of couples don’t have sex on their wedding night.
We-Vibe’s relationship expert Dr Becky Spelman reckons she can stir up some romance with these top tips for newlyweds…
Start with a relaxing massage
Stress is a definite mood-killer. Brides in particular might find it hard to switch off after all the excitement.
“Stress has a very negative effect on libido,” explains Dr Becky. “If you aren’t calm, you won’t be able to enjoy yourself and let go completely.”
The pressure to ‘perform’ can also make it hard for both bride and groom to relax. “There’s extra pressure on both the bride and groom in the bedroom on their wedding night. Try to just relax and go with the flow.”
Start with some physical intimacy before jumping to the main event. “Requesting a massage from your new husbby can help ease any tension you are carrying from the stress of the day.”
Live in the moment
Overthinking the wedding night can add to your nerves. Don’t let anticipation get to you; just view it as special quality time with your new husband.
“The same goes for the groom: just relax and slow things down. Run a nice warm bubble bath and relax together rather than rushing into sex.”
Slow down sex
This last tip is especially important, as rushing into wedding night sex can spoil the moment. Take it slow and savour the moment to make it more memorable.
“There are specific techniques for both the bride and groom to slow down sex,” says Dr Becky.
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“Spend 15 minutes stroking each other’s most sensitive areas with one finger, very gently in exactly the same spot.
“These slow techniques will build anticipation and arousal in both parties, and may even produce orgasm.”
14 ways to spice up your sex life…
1. Drizzle chocolate sauce
Chocolate isn’t an aphrodisiac for nothing! Grab some chocolate sauce and drizzle it over his chest before slowly licking it off. Feel free to add some strawberries too for good measure.
2. Eat oysters
Oysters are another known aphrodisiac, so why not have a candlelit dinner serving up some posh seafood?
3. Have a cuppa
Yes, we know, there’s a bit of a recurring theme with food, but bear with us. While having your evening cuppa, have a sip of the hot drink before kissing him (on the lips or anywhere else!) and then go back for another sip. This will alternate between hot and cold, making him (or her) go crazy.
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4. Crack out the ice cubes
See point above.
5. Wear some red lipstick
Sounds obvious, but there’s nothing as sexy as a red lip, especially if it leaves imprints all over his body.
6. Send him a spicy card
Send a card to his office detailing exactly what you have planned for this evening. Let’s just hope he doesn’t blush too much in front of his colleagues!
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7. Leave a trail of clothes
Make sure you get home before him, and leave a trail of clothes from the front door to the bedroom, suggesting you’re ready to greet him with very little on.
8. Leave a trail of rose petals
A little more romantic than the above, for those who wish.
9. Pick somewhere unexpected
Always have sex in your bedroom (let’s face it, most people do)? Surprise him by leading him to the kitchen counter instead – or the sofa if you prefer comfort!
10. Light a candle
Smell can be a powerful libido enhancer. It’s said that lavender and pumpkin pie are considered aphrodisiac smells for men, while women get turned on by smells like cucumber (who knew?), so get shopping for a new candle now.
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11. Use props
We’re not talking full-on S&M (unless you should be so inclined!). More like feathers, which can be used to gently tickle the body, or a silk scarf if you want to try the whole blindfolding thing.
12. Play music
Play whatever music makes you feel sexy and empowered, it’ll make it easier to set the mood.
13. Get him to pick your lingerie
Perhaps a bit old-fashioned, we’ll give you that. But ask him to pick something up from Agent Provocateur on his way in, and not only does he do the shopping for you, but you get some pretty (and free) lingerie out of it. It’s a win-win situation, non?
14. Play lucky dip
Each write down three sexual things you’ve always dreamed of trying, and take it in turns to pick them out of a box, agreeing in advance to try at least one of them.