I’ve dreamt of my wedding since I was 4. Yes, 4.
When I played a game of Brides and Grooms with my little friends, I would insistently demand to be the bride every time.
I think most little girls go through a stage of this – but it probably wears thin when they get to a certain age. Not for me. The wedding fire inside me did nothing but propogate over the years.
I’ve now been with my SO (Significant Other) for quite a long time, and the Vera Wang website is the most frequent in my internet history. And I’m not looking at the Forever Vera perfume either.
He, my SO, like every other male-in-their-twenties in this world, uses his favourite phrase whenever Wedding Fever takes over too much. “There’s no rush, we’ve got our whole lives.”
There is a rush though – the rush in my head. There is a huge rush, because I live in a constant state of anxiety that my best looking years will be coming to an end anytime now, and that Vera’s wedding gowns are only going to be getting pricier.
Maybe I’m being shallow – I probably am. There’s plenty of issues in the world which are way more staggeringly important than me getting engaged, and then married. But I just can’t help but be a little bit selfish whenever I see yet ANOTHER Facebook engagement announcement. I want it to be me!
I wonder what it takes for it to click in a man, or a womans head, that they want to propose to their partner. At what moment do they conclude ‘I’m ready.’?
It’s not that my SO hasn’t told me I’m ‘The One’; he has. I mean, he jokingly proposed to me with a blade of grass on a country walk last week. But I don’t want one of natures amenities wrapped around my finger; I want the feeling of a real ring. Don’t we all?
I probably need a good few years of being engaged to emotionally prepare for The Big Day; I am a highly anxious person as it is, so I think with upcoming nuptials, I would need to bathe in lavendar and chamomile 4 hours a day.
So yes, I’m a Wedding Dreamer; a Wedding Obsessor some may call it. Someone who isn’t engaged but has already planned their napkin arrangments for The Big Day…. but there are far stranger people in the world than that, right?
Brighton Girl Problems