1. Don’t you get tired of being maid of honour all the time?
I don’t know, do you get tired of having too many close friends?
2. Is it annoying that your sister is getting married before you?
Can’t I just be happy for my sister without having to look like the jealous ugly sister?
3. Don’t you think the bride’s sister should have been the MOH?
A) I’m the bride’s BFF, so that’s why I got picked and b) I really don’t fancy meddling into their family business thanks.
4. Love the bridesmaids’ dresses, such a shame they didn’t find it in your size.
I’m wearing a different dress on PURPOSE.
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5. So, you and the best man, eh? Wink wink.
Yes, the maid of honour ALWAYS gets it on with the best man. Rolls eyes.
6. Wow you got lucky with your dress, look at the other maids!
Er, bit awkward telling me you hate the other dresses, don’t you think?
7. I guess you’re on toilet duty then!
Thanks for reminding me of the moment I will have to hold the bride’s dress while she pees. I’m so looking forward to it.
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8. You can totally wear that dress again.
Let’s be honest, when has that ever happened, really?
9. Are you sure you know what you’re doing?
I’ve got it all under control thank you! Now go off and be a normal guest.
10. It’s going to be tough beating the best man’s speech!
Oh well I might as well not bother then.
11. Go on, tell us. Was the bride a real bridezilla?
Nope, you’re not going to get me to moan about my best friend. Well, not yet anyway…
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12. You’ll be the first in line to get that bouquet!
Well what a coincidence, because all I was thinking about today was getting married myself.
13. Right, so you’re joining me on the dance floor when I give you the nod.
That awkward moment you have to join the bride and groom on the dance floor so they’re not alone doing their awkward shuffle.