1. I love weddings – drinks all around! 2. I am starting to wonder how I’m going to last in these shoes… only another ten hours or so, right? 3. Ooh, the music’s starting – here she comes! 4. I can’t see a thing. 5. *Cranes neck* 6. Oh, how pretty! 7. That dress has literally got a hundred buttons – it must have taken her three hours to get into it. 8. Look at that guy, he’s crying. Ha, what a softie. 9. *Wipes a quick tear* 10. Eyes front – here come the vows, this is important stuff! 11. Hmm, weddings in films are a lot quicker. I wonder when the reception starts? 12. “I now pronounce you man and wife.” That’s more like it! 13. Confetti time! 14. Whoops, missed.
15. Ah well, it’s the thought that counts. 16. Bring on the reception! 17. Oh okay, photos first. 18. This photographer is a bit demanding. 19. “Could you move two inches to the left?” Not really, Mr Snap-Happy, I’ll end up standing on the flower girl. 20. Drinks, at last. 21. Champagne! Don’t mind if I do. This is going to go straight to my head. 22. Tee hee, bubbles! 23. Meal time! 24. So. Much. Food. They’ll have to hire a crane to get me out of this chair. 25. This place is stunning, I’d better get on Instagram. 26. Why don’t they put fairylights like these up at the office? It’d put everyone in a better mood. 27. “I’d like to start the speeches.” Ooh, this’ll be good. 28. SO EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW. 29. Dance? You want me to dance? I’m still mopping up my tears! 30. Go on, then. Hey – let’s film a video of us all dancing and share it on Facebook. 31. “I’ve got the moves like Jagger, I’ve got the mo-ooooh-oooh-ooooves like Jaggerrrr!!” 32. Jeez, look at how fat my feet look. It’s a good job I can’t feel them. 33. Why won’t the DJ play Ice Ice Baby when I’ve already asked 3 times? 34. Oh maaan, lights on? We’ve only been here five minutes! 35. Boy, what a wedding. When’s the next one?