1. It’s her day.
2. Times have changed. Do hear her out and try not to roll your eyes when she says she’s having a macaron tower or salted caramel-flavoured sponge instead of fruitcake.
3. Pack tissues. And waterproof mascara.
4. Let the happy couple know early if you plan to contribute financially. It’s the 21st century, so more couples are footing the bill themselves, but that doesn’’t mean support wouldn’t be appreciated. Approaching the couple directly takes the guesswork and awkwardness out of their budgeting.
5. Have fun with your outfit. Don’t feel you have to confirm to certain MOB archetypes. Red-carpet floor-length gown calling your name? Go for it, so long as it’s venue/event appropriate. And stay in synch with the mother of the groom’s style decisions. You don’t need to match, but it would be good to make sure you don’t clash or, even worse, turn up in something very similar.
6. Yes, you can be part of the hen do. Let her know if you’re game and think about joining in with some of the daytime activities. Remember you don’t have to be the last woman standing with an inflatable willy in hand – leave that honour to your daughter.
7. If you’re invited along for wedding dress shopping, be supportive. Your honest opinion is allowed, but not to the point that she ends up in a replica of your 1980s frock. (Refer to point 1)
8. It’s fine to set yourself apart from the rest of the guests with a floral corsage that matches the bridal party. Do remember to include the mother of the groom though.
9. Remember to enjoy yourself. She’ll love you forever if you make her wedding cake, her dress, the favours and the floral arrangements… but she’ll also love you if you don’t push yourself to the point of exhaustion and just turn up. Mixing and mingling with all her guests requires stamina enough.
10. Make sure you get the all-important mother-daughter photograph. After the wedding planning journey together, you’ll want a lovely reminder.