1. You know you should really wear your hair down, up ‘dos don’t suit you.
2. I’ve invited Barbara from book club to your wedding. You don’t mind, do you?
3. The neighbour’s daughter is a make-up artist, so we’ve told her you’ll book her.
4. I know cupcakes are all the rage, but you can’t go wrong with a fruitcake love.
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5. Are you sure you don’t want to try on that other wedding dress?
6. You look beautiful in your dress dear, but I think it’ll look even better if you change the neckline/sleeves/[insert appropriate alteration].
7. Back when your father and I got married, it really wasn’t that expensive.
8. You’ll stick to classic wedding shoes, won’t you? None of that garish gold stuff.
9. You can’t invite your cousin without his girlfriend, your uncle and aunty will be most upset.
10. You’ll play a bit of Tom Jones won’t you? Only I don’t think the older guests will like that Beyonce person.
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11. Make sure you stand with your shoulders back and chest forward, you don’t want to look like a hunchback in all the photos!
12. Do you have any single friends? It would be great to introduce them to your brother…
13. Do you think this outfit is too mother of the bride-y?
14. A barn wedding? That’s a cute idea, but won’t it be a bit cold?
15. So when can we expect the arrival of our first grandchild?
16. When shall we make the formal announcement in the paper?
17. Marriage is all about compromise dear.